Eternity

Trigger warning: sexual violence

It’s been an eternity since we last saw each other. Alright, not eternity but only three months. People might think I am exaggerating, but since we got married, which was 5 years ago, we have never spent even a single night without each other.

My husband needed to leave us for a few months in order to pursue his dreams. The Culinary Arts Academy in Switzerland required him to stay there to complete his studies. We could not go with him because I have a job here in Maryland. Sometimes I felt like leaving everything and fly my way to him, but I could not because somebody had to pay the bills. 

Tonight he is coming back for a few days and I am on cloud nine. Ciara is so excited to see her daddy after so long. She is only three years old but she is daddy’s girl and sometimes I think she misses him more than I do.

We are on our way to the airport to receive him, and Ciara is half asleep. She asked me countless times, “when will the airplane bring daddy?”

“In a little while, princess. He is almost here.” I gave her this answer countless times.

While I drive I keep smiling thinking about him and how he will react when he sees us after so long. I look at the envelope in the passenger seat. I am not that good of an artist but I could not think of any other way to tell him the good news that we are going to have a new member in our family. I did not share the news on the phone because I want to see his reaction in person.

The road seems endless and it is foggy outside so I drive carefully. Carefully and slowly.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Slowly.

The car comes to a halt. But I did not do anything. I don’t know what went wrong because I checked everything before traveling. I look at the fuel gauge; it shows that I have enough fuel. It is dark and the road is empty there is no one around and I don’t feel like stepping out of the car and checking it. I keep sitting and I think what I should do. I can’t wait here because I don’t want Zack to get disappointed when he sees that no one is here to pick me up.

I am scared but I decide to get up and check what went wrong because I want to get out of this place as soon as possible. I turn on the flashlight of my mobile phone and look at the confusing mechanism of my car. I really don’t know what to fix because I can’t tell what needs to be fixed.

I get back inside and call my brother to ask him what I should do. He doesn’t pick up the call. I try two more times but then I stop. I am confused, I didn’t see this coming. I watch a lot of horror movies and it is like one of the scenes where I shout at the actor, who cannot hear me, but I tell them anyways to stay inside the car no matter what and call for help.

I decide I will stay inside and I wait for the cab I ordered to rescue us from this scary situation.

I hear rattling from outside the car. I get more scared but I tell myself that this is not a horror movie.

I hear it again and more clearer this time. My heart skips a beat and I look around through the window. I hear someone walking towards us. I quickly lock all the doors and the windows and I switch off the lights inside the car. Now I can only hear my heart beating against my ribcage.

I try to hide by pressing myself against the seat, it is of no use. I hear the steps advancing towards us and I turn around a little to see who is there.

I can’t see much but I do see a flashlight and two legs moving, and a small red circle emitting smoke. I quickly try to start the car like it somehow will understand how critical the situation is and start working. But it doesn’t.

The guy stands right in front of our car and stares at us, the mobile phone he has is now lying on the car and the light allows me to get a good look at him. He has long hair, his eyes are bloodshot and he has an evil grin on his face. He tilts his face and looks at us more intently. I am paralyzed, I can’t move.

He smokes his cigarette and flips its butt on the windshield of my car. He comes to the right side of the car and tries to open the door. My body is not responding but my brain is filled with thousands of things this guy can do. I don’t move but my eyes trace his every move. He walks and tries all the doors but he fails to open them.

He bangs at the windows so hard that Ciara wakes up. She starts crying. My eyes are now filled with tears I can’t see anything clearly. My baby is crying and I can’t move a single limb of my body. I am mad at myself. I am angry at my useless body.

He walks away.

My body resurrects back as soon as he is gone. I tell Ciara to stop crying and that it will all be fine. But it is like she can sense that something is wrong, she cries on the top of her voice.

I quickly reach for my phone and call 911.

“I need your help, please help me! I am stuck and my car is not working…this guy he is walking around and I don’t know what to do.” I tell her while my eyes wet my face.

The lady on the line asks me where I am and I quickly tell her the name of the place I last read on the signboard.

“Please do something quick, he….”

The guy is back and I stop talking. I put the phone down so he can’t see me with the light the phone is shedding on my face. My body freezes. Ciara is crying even more now.

He smashes the window with a stick he just brought from somewhere. He flashes the light at both of us and Ciara stops crying. He reaches out for me and grabs me by the hand.

Ciara starts crying again.

“Please don’t hurt us, you can take all the cash I have, please let us go,” my plea punctuated with sobs.

He looks at me like he did not understand a word I said. I try to free my hand from his grip but I could not.

“Please, please, please, don’t hurt us. Take the car if you want but please let us go,” I beg to him again.

He leaves my hand and reaches for the door handle to unlock it. I understand that he is not going to stop so I quickly open the door from my side and I reach for the backseat to grab Ciara.

Ciara keeps crying.

I open the doors and I free Ciara from the belts.

Something hits my head real bad.

It hurts real bad.

Ciara is no more in my arms. She fell on the ground, I am on the ground.

Ciara is crying. I am crying.

Smack!

Bang!

She stops crying.

I move to pick her up but I am pushed down to the ground. My hands are now wet, the road is wet. I bring my hand near my face, it is red.

I can’t move. My body is covered by someone but it is no more covered with clothes.

I stop crying, I sob. My head hurts. He covers my mouth with his hand and forces himself inside of me. I can’t move.

I bite on his hand he slaps me. He fills my mouth with a cloth. He continues doing what he was doing more vigorously.

My stomach hurts. No words can express how bad it hurts. I try to stop him but my screams are force stopped by the cloth in my mouth.

He finishes what he started and lifts his weight from my body. The pain is beyond measure. I reach for my stomach. I curl into a ball. My thighs are clammy on the inside.

I understand I lost what was inside of me. I understand that I lost what I was blessed with 3 years earlier. I understand that in an hour my whole life is turned upside down. I understand that there is nothing I can do to bring it back to the way it was. I understand that it is my fault. But I don’t understand what I did to deserve it.

I try to get up.

Smack!

Bang!