Visiting

Giana looked across at the playground, at the kids happily playing in the playground across from where she was seated. The world beginning to spring to life with them. A group of older boys were at the tire swing that was on the tall oak tree on the far side of the grounds, going buck wild seeing who could spin the fastest without falling out. A few girls were at the unreasonably long monkey bars, seeing who could get the farthest. The slide was always her favorite though. It was tall and wide and the first thing Giana always went to when she came as a kid. 

“Rosie, slow down Princesita! Mommy can’t run that fast!” A young Hispanic woman, about that same age as Giana herself, came running after a little girl who sped past. The girl, who Giana assumed to be Rosie, went straight for the playground, climbing up and into the play place centerpiece of the whole area. The woman stopped right next to Giana, struggling to catch her breath before noticing the bench. Wordlessly, she gestured at Giana’s bag that took up the other part of the bench. Giana moved it to the ground, inviting the woman to sit. 

Once she had caught her breath, she turned to Giana. “Thank you for letting me sit, my little girl can be a handful sometimes. Doesn’t help that I don’t have the energy I used to. 6 is such a chaotic age.” The woman chuckled softly under her breath, but her face didn’t reflect the same emotion. “It’s no big deal. My brother was like that when he was younger. I had to take care of him so I get it.” The woman shot her a confused look but kept it minimal. Giana could tell she didn’t want to pry into her life but she didn’t mind telling the mother.

“My father ditched my mom by herself when she was pregnant with my brother because he didn’t think it was his and she, um,” She took a slightly shaky breath. It had been some time since Giana had to say these words aloud. “She passed away when he was a baby so I’ve been taking care of him since I was 8.” Her face grew into a sympathetic look. “I’m so sorry. I’m sure you took great care of him.” 

That shocked Giana. Whenever she told someone her story they would always apologize for asking, that it wasn't their place, all that. Never had someone reassured her that she did okay without even knowing her. It probably was due to the maternal instinct from the other woman.

“I’m Erica. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Lia.”

The two shook hands. “I don’t think I recognize you. Are you new?”

Giana shook her head slightly. “No, I’m just visiting. I grew up here.” 

“MOMMY!!!” The little girl interrupted their moment and sending Erica into a mini panic, screeching from the landing that led to the tall slide. With a sigh of relief that her child was not dying, the mother answered, “Yes baby? What is it?” “YOU SAID YOU WOULD SLIP WITH ME TODAY!” Rosie pouted back at her mother, voice still far too loud for the distance between the two, even with the height of the slide. “One moment honey, Mommy will be up in a bit.” “O-KAY!!!” The little girl screamed back before going about her way, playing with the other kids. 

“Can I ask you something personal Lia?” Erica leaned forward, head dropping in an act that looked guilty and scared. Giana nodded. “How did you survive?” 

The younger woman hummed in confusion. “How did you make it through life after your mother passed away when you were so young? How do you not hate that she took away your childhood?” 

Giana sighed heavily. “She taught me how to take care of my brother before she passed. Gave me all of her books that she used for me. She told me not to worry. She said that we would be fine. That she would always be there for us. No, I don’t hate her because how could I? She had no control over leaving us so early. I don’t hate her because it’s not her fault or her doing like my father. He left us and I wish every day that he would have been there to help us when big sister couldn’t do it all. I don’t know if he knew she was sick - the doctor’s said that they were shocked she had a child while ill - but if I’m supposed to hate or blame someone for taking away my childhood, it would be him. Not my mother.”

Erica had tears welling up in her eyes from the woman’s speech. It was clear that the emotional words had a deeper impact on the mother than anyone else Giana had talked to. She opened her mouth to say something as the little girl came over.

“Mommy, are you okay?” She noticed the tears in her mother’s eyes and whatever she wanted to say before no longer held importance. Erica wiped her tears and gave her child a warm, genuine smile. “I’m okay Rosie. Do you want to go slide?” 

With the confirmation that her mother was not in danger or upset, the little girl enthusiastically nodded her head. Erica stood up and turned back to Giana.

“Thank you for sharing that.”

Without thinking, Giana stood up and hugged the woman tight. “Thank you for listening.”

Releasing from the woman, she closed her eyes and let out a sigh as the world stopped. Giana sat back down.

Giana looked across at the playground, at the kids happily playing in the playground across from where she was seated. The world beginning to spring back to life with them. It had changed since she was young. She missed the tire swing that hung low on the far tree, the monkey bars that stretched the perimeter of the area, the slide she always went down with her mother. She missed it all. 

The carelessness of being a kid, your only problem in the world being when you ran a little too fast, stumbled and scraped your knee. Her mother always took care of her when that happened. 

“Rosie, there you are.” Her brother called out to her as he walked up. “What are you doing here, of all places?” He chuckled, not understanding. He never understood why she always went to the memories. He was too young to remember her anyway. “Just, missed mom. That’s all.” His face grew stiff, as always whenever Giana brought up their mother. “I don’t get why you do it to yourself. Doesn’t it hurt to see her after all this time?” She sighed, grabbing her bag from the ground next to her. “Yes, but not seeing her hurts so much more.” “If you say so. Now, Miss Giana Rosie Gonzalez, are you ready to go watch your baby brother graduate?”

Chuckling, she stood up and walked over to her brother. “Of course I am. Means you’re finally getting out of the house.” She ruffled his hair in response to the pout he gave her. 

Looking back at the playground, she could still feel her mother’s touch. She closed her eyes. The world stopped. As she opened them, she spotted the little girl she once was and the mother she missed so dearly going down the slide together, smiling and carefree.