Not When She's Dead

I grab Annalice’s hand, trying to pull her to the safety of my arms, I can’t let her die, I promised Nyx I would keep her safe, if I let go now she’ll drop thirty five feet, her body already weak because of the hours of torture she endured waiting for me to find her.  

“Please Annalice, take my hand!” I shout, my voice cracking from severe fear and pain that I’ll lose the one thing that I hold closest to my cold non beating heart.

“No Asher, I can’t let you save me, this is what I want, do you really want to go against my will!?” She yells, as I watch countless tears fall down her snow white cheeks, glistening wet and covered in salt and chilled by the cold.

“If I let you go, I’ll never forgive myself!” I shout, nearly dying from the thought of losing her, I’ve never told her I loved her, but I want to more than anything else in this cold cruel world, I can’t let her die, not without knowing the truth… 

Suddenly the wind shifts, blowing a freezing clump of powder snow right into my face, I’m momentarily blinded by the water in my eyes, Annalice takes my moment of weakness, gives my hand a yank, and lets it go, she closes her eyes, as she falls to where I know she’ll die.  It’s as if she’s in slow motion, her silky blonde hair falling to fan around her shoulders, she hits the ground with a light thud, her body crumples.  I don’t have to be on the ground to know what her body looks like, I’ve already seen it.  Because I’m the one who dreamt it.  

I crumple to the ground, my knees giving out, my eyes wide in shock and pain, I can feel the hot tears spilling down my face, I don’t even hear the gut wrenching cry that escapes through my lips when she falls. 

My friend Jake rushes to the patio tryIng to pull me up, but he can’t, I’m frozen in place because I can’t move, the girl I love is dead, and I didn’t do anything to help her, it was like all the power I used to feel around her was gone…  I am utterly Powerless…  I loved her and now she’s dead.  I know life must go on, but I can’t bring myself to find the will to live, she brought the best out of me.

After two hours of sitting in the freezing snow, I finally find the strength to get up and stumble my way to my bathroom, I tear my clothes off, not caring that I just ruined about six hundred dollars worth of clothes, I turn the water in the shower on scorching, climb in and scrub every inch of my skin so hard that it feels like I’ve torn all my skin off my body.  I get out of the shower, dry off then I walk to my room where I throw on a pair of black skinny  jeans, a plain black T-shirt, socks, my black scuffed up old converse that are two sizes too small, and throw on my black leather jacket that Annalice loved so much.  I dab on some cologne, run a comb through my black hair, grab my keys to my motorcycle, and I walk out the door into the snow.  

By the time I cross the street to my motorcycle I am sweating and crying like a baby, instead of the twenty one year old that I am, and will be forever, it wasn’t my choice that Nyx, goddess of night chose to mark me when I was seventeen to serve as a son of Erebus, I didn’t choose to become a child of the night, to crave blood and become a vampire, no, she took my choices and my normal life away, and all I got out of it is that I’m a full vampire, I prefer blood, I have the ability to manifest any of the five elements, Earth, Water, Wind, Fire, Spirit to me at will.  Not only am I unable to stay in contact with my friends from before I turned into this, I also fell in love with a mortal, a human, Annalice to be exact, relationships between humans and vampires are forbidden, but a vampire can only fall in love once, when they meet the person they fall for, there’s no other option for who they will be with, they are to be whatever that person needs them to be, the person the vampire falls for will fall for them back, but only because vampires only get one shot at love.

Though I was forbidden from seeing Annalice, I had to, it physically hurt me to be away from her, like someone had forced me to drink a bottle of revine and that it was poisoning me from inside out.  I snuck out to see her many times, we imprinted.  An act that is caused when a vampire drinks the blood of the person they love.  For those of you who don’t know what it feels like to be imprinted I’ll tell you.  Drinking her blood caused the same part of the brain that controls sexual desire in a human to cause that same desire for me, but it’s only triggered by her blood, and now that she’s dead, I no longer have that imprint to hold on to.  I’ve heard the rumors of vampires that have lost the one they imprinted on and the only way to break the pain caused is by death to the remaining person in the bond.

I gun my Harley, take off onto the slippery roads, heading towards the river, I reach my destination in about fifteen minutes, once there, I remove every piece of clothing from my body, toss it over the seat of my bike, I grab the Achilles blade, it’s the only blade that can kill me, I slit every piece of bare flesh I can until I feel no strength left in my body, soon my world fades and I am no longer on Earth, I never had power, but now I am the Power.