Luck be a Lady

“You’re gonna regret this,” she said. I smiled a little.

“Sam,” I said, “I’m sorry, but this just isn’t working out. You’re a great girl, and I’m sure you’ll find someone. That someone just isn’t me. Not right now.”

She left in a huff, and that was the last time I ever saw Samantha Luck. That was a few months ago, and since then things have been… weird. Not like… alien invasion weird, but like… pretty weird, y’know?

It’s hard to explain, but I’ll give you an example. I woke up this morning drenched in sweat, because my A/C went out overnight… again. I live in Minnesota, but the heat wave we’ve been having is insane. So I woke up, drenched in sweat, and while I was reaching for my phone to call and get maintenance on it, I accidentally knocked it to the floor and cracked it. Whatever, it happens.

Then I got up and made coffee. Burned it. Drank it anyway, because if I tried to make another pot, I knew I’d burn it again. Just doesn’t seem like anything has gone my way since I broke things off with Sam.

I had to, though. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice enough girl, but she was getting a little… obsessive, possessive even. I couldn’t do it.

My phone rings. I already know it’s her… again. It’s been three weeks. I finish my coffee with a grimace, and shower. The hot water is out again, but I don’t mind. It’s hot out anyway.

I head down to my car, and it won’t start. Third dead battery this week. This car never broke down once while I was with Sam. Samantha Luck… you don’t think? Nah. Coincidence.

I pulled out my phone and ordered an Uber… None in my area? What are the odds? Oh well. No biggie. I grab some change from my ashtray and head for the bus stop. Gotta get to work one way or another. Phone rings again. Samantha Luck. Again.

What have I got to lose?

“Hello?” I say.

“Mike! Hey, you answered!” Sam’s voice chirped over the phone. Did the air just cool down a bit? Can’t be.

“Yeah. I’ve been really busy lately.” I say absently while I count out the change for the bus driver. I’m a nickel short. “Shit,” I say involuntarily.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asks. The bus driver is looking at me impatiently.

“I’m… uh… I’m 5 cents short on bus fare.” I explain. Feeling around my pockets desperately.

“The bus... Your car never breaks down!” Sam says… Funny. She didn’t sound surprised… She was saying the right thing, but… oh well.

“Yeah, well it did today,” I said. Still patting my empty pockets dumbly.

“I can come get you!” her voice lights up through the phone. My heart sinks. I don’t really have a choice.

“Alright yeah. I’ll be out front of my place.” I say. The bus driver looks like he’s ready to punch me in the face, and the rest of the passengers don’t look far behind him. I decide he can keep the 85 cents I already gave him, and I get off the bus. Have you ever seen a bus burn rubber? I saw it.

This is weird. This is too weird. I broke up with Sam, and nothing has gone right since. Samantha Luck… You don’t think? Nah. Can’t be.

Sam pulls up in her little red Camaro, grinning ear to ear. I get in and she kisses me on the cheek.

“Sam, please,” I say weakly, “I…” she looks at me sheepishly. “Nevermind… Can you just take me to work, please?”

“Aren’t you gonna ask why I called?” Sam chirps once we’re rolling.

“You haven’t stopped calling for three weeks.” I grumbled.

“Well then I’ll ask…,” she says, “Why’d you answer?”

“Because…” I start, but I trail off and look out the window. It’s too crazy. I can’t even tell her, but I have to. “I answered because things have been really weird since I broke up with you.”

“Weird how?”

“Weird like… Like my hot water keeps going out, and this heat, which… has gone away for some reason?? And I haven’t called a coin-toss right in the last hundred tries, and… It’s like… Like I’m cursed or something. Like I lost my luck?”

“Oh that’s what we’re gonna do?” she barks, “we’re gonna make jokes about my name?”

Shit.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Sam. I just… I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Well, actually…” Sam murmurs.

“What?”

“I have a small confession to make… I’m, umm… I’m Lady Luck.” She glances over at me for a second then fixes her eyes back on the road.

“Come again.”

“I’m… Lady Luck,” she repeats, “I’m the embodiment of chance, luck, those little anomalies that defy probability and statistics. I’m them. I’m it. I’m luck… And I was pretty upset when you broke up with me, because I felt like you didn’t appreciate everything I did for you. Think about how long your car went without breaking down. Think about all those poker games you won while we were together. I figured if I could just remind you of what life is like without me, then you’d want me back, and then…”

“Stop the car right now,” I said.

“Mike, don’t be like that,” Sam whimpers.

“Stop the car right NOW,” I insist, “you… you freak! That is the most vindictive, manipulative, small minded thing I have ever heard… Which assumes I even believe it, which is insane! Stop the car. I’m leaving. I was right to dump you, but I was wrong when I said you’d find someone else. You are NUTS!”

She stomps the breaks. “Fine. Get out then. You’ll never hear from me again.”

So I did. I got out. I was close enough to walk to work… And then it started raining. Hadn’t rained all week. Wasn’t a cloud in the sky when Sam picked me up… That’s just my luck, I guess.