And Then It All Made Sense

And then it all made sense.

It was always a curious story, the way Alice’s mother, Irene, came to live in a tiny, country town in Kentucky after growing up in the big city of Philadelphia, especially when she enjoyed being a big city girl, skipping high school classes to go to see her favorite Big Band, the Glenn Miller Orchestra and outdoor plumbing was her future.

Irene was beautiful, dark hair fashioned in the styles of the day, known for her beautiful smile, and after high school, she worked for a finance company, saving money for her future.

On one fateful day, Irene and her best girlfriend, Doris, were at a corner in West Philly, waiting to cross the street when two sailors walked up to them. The one that was especially handsome said, “What’s jiving?”

A real hep cat, Irene thought.

He had a great smile. The four went on a double date, then Irene and Harry went on one date alone, to a movie, then he had to return to sea.

Irene grew up in a family of Greek immigrant parents and five brothers, in Philadelphia. They were traditional and her parents expected her to marry a Greek man chosen by Irene’s mother, Catherine, in an arranged marriage. Being a strong-willed woman Irene wanted to marry for love and she definitely did not like the man chosen for her, and did not see herself falling in love with him.

Because, and this is where Alice’s theory comes in, Irene, had already fallen in love with a Greek man, Teddy, but he was betrothed to another Greek woman. She was even a bridesmaid at their wedding. Alice would never know if Teddy and her mother ever secretly dated, or if it was just a romance from afar for Irene.

With the love of her life marrying, and herself betrothed to a Greek man she did not want to live the rest of her life with, and not wanting to live in the same circle of Greeks seeing Teddy with another woman, she was distraught.

Meanwhile, after a year of sending letters back and forth to each other during the final year of WWII, Harry proposed marriage to Irene.

He had a farm in Kentucky where they would live

Irene opted to leave town and accept Harry’s proposal of marriage.

To Harry’s family, the marriage began on a seemingly romantic note, as she, at the age of 19, had ran away from home, to take a train for two days, to elope with an American sailor, who was 23, that she had been corresponding with during the final year of WWII.

They may as well have been the couple that kissed in the streets in the iconic photo when the war ended!

The curious story of Irene and Harry eloping sounded romantic for many years. Even to the three children they eventually had.

But, for someone who did not want to marry a man she didn’t love, or a man she didn’t think she could eventually love, Irene found the irony of life came back to her, right up to her deathbed.

Alice’s parents’ marriage lasted a lifetime, but for her mother, the handsome sailor never was, and did not become, the love of her life.

Alice believed her father had fallen in love her mother, but it was unrequited, becoming obvious to even preteen Alice, when romance was just beginning to enter her mind, with teenybopper crushes on singers like Bobby Sherman.

Theirs was a marriage going through the motions.

Alice had a sister, 11 months younger, and a brother, 9 years older. They all eventually realized their parents had a troubled marriage, but it was Alice who came to believe she knew why her mother eloped with their father, though she never told her mother her theory, and she never told her brother and only told her sister after everyone else had passed.

Back to the beginning of this to tie up the loose ends.

Irene accepted Harry's proposal.

She had a plan as to how to leave Philadelphia. Since graduating high school, Irene had been working at a finance company and saved quite a bit of money. This would pay expenses to get to Kentucky.

One Friday, she told her parents she was taking the train to Bristol, PA, to visit her favorite cousin, Kay, and told Kay she was coming for the weekend.

She packed her bags, got on a train, but it was heading to a small town in Kentucky, not Bristol.

Keep in mind, it only took a few hours to get to Bristol from Philly, so when Irene didn’t show up after several hours, Kay called her Aunt Catherine and asked if Irene had left yet.

Irene’s mother said, ‘Yes, hours ago!” and immediately thought Irene must be in danger.

The police were called, and she was reported missing. The brothers that were old enough tried to look for Irene. Kay kept in touch in case she eventually showed up, but she did not.

Several days went by, two weeks went by and nothing was found of Irene, and she hadn’t been heard from.

Imagine how her parents were feeling? Grieving and not really knowing if grief was necessary.

Meanwhile, Irene had arrived in Caneyville, greeted by Harry and one of his brother’s and a church friend. They were all smiles, and to look at the old black and white photos, Irene looked radiant.

After all, Harry was handsome and had a wonderful smile, and she wouldn’t have to suffer seeing Teddy with another woman the rest of her life.

During that day, she met Harry’s seven brothers, four sisters, parents, grandparents, a host of extended family members, church people and people of the community, who all wanted to meet Harry’s bride-to-be, the woman who stole his heart.

Phones were not nearby, so it was not until they married and could get to a phone, two weeks, that she finally called her parents and told them what she had done.

Not really expecting a good response, she did not expect what she received.

Her father answered the phone, and when she told him, he let her know ‘how she made the family suffer, how her mother’s heart had been broken thinking her daughter was dead, and now, she may as well be dead!’ He told her to never call again.

Years later, Irene’s younger brother told Alice, that they were not allowed to mention their sisters’ name for two years after she ran away.

Irene was guilt-ridden, but she accepted her fate and went on trying to fit in with a whole new family, entirely different from her own. They were an outgoing bunch, most played musical instruments and loved to sing, she got saved in their religion (she had been brought up Greek Orthodox and they were a small, knee-route salvation church), she became pregnant, had a miscarriage, then became pregnant again, all within one year.

When she became pregnant the second time, she called her parents to tell them, but her father did not care, and told her not to call back.

She was living in a shack, with a dirt floor, no running water, an outhouse, she had to wring the chicken’s neck if they wanted chicken for dinner, there was no modern music to listen to, just gospel and folk songs, and she didn’t enjoy nightly sex, as was required by her husband, because she did not love Harry.

But, she had nowhere to go, her parents had disowned her, her baby was on the way, so she did her best to live with her decision.

Her and Harrys’ first child, a son, was born on Oct 2, and that did bring her joy.

Another year went by and she finally tried calling her parents again.

This time her father listened to her tell about their grandson, whose middle name was after him, George, a Greek tradition, and he warmed up to bringing Irene back into the fold.

Her mother, Catherine and two younger brothers took the train to Kentucky, to be brought to Irene’s home in Caneyville, to see her little grandson. The yiayia (Greek for grandmother) was clearly charmed by him, but she was still hurt by Irene leaving her, after all, she was the only daughter and what happened brought shame to Catherine in her circle of Greek lady friends and family members.

As she left to go back to Philadelphia, she told Irene that the choices she made had left her living in squalor, just as she had prayed it would. A very heavy burden on Irene.

Within a year, Harry accepted he would never become a good farmer with an income so he, Irene and their little son, moved to Louisville, and he took a good job as a meter reader and steadily provided for his family the rest of his life. Over the course of the next 50 years, Harry became a beloved son-in-law, he and Irene had two nice homes and Irene visited her parents as often as possible. Catherine eventually forgave Irene, and Irene was with mother when she passed.

Now, to end the story, and explain how Alice came up with the theory that Irene left because she was in love with Teddy.

Alice had moved in with her parents when her dad's dementia was too much for her mother to handle alone. He passed after 9 months in a Hospice facility.

The last time Irene saw her husband, Harry, he was lying on his deathbed, still able to hear, it was the only time she visited him in the 3 weeks he was there, after spending an hour sitting in a chair, she got up, moved past his bed and loudly said, “I am going home now, Harry. I need my rest.”

And those were the last words she ever spoke to him.

After 65 years of marriage.

No kiss goodbye.

No tears, not even one.

In the last year, Irene had taken up a phone friendship with a lady about Alice’s age, named Maria, who still lived in Philadelphia. Maria was Teddy’s daughter with the other woman, who had died from dementia two years earlier.  Alice had continued living with her mother, after her father died, because Irene was falling often. Irene and Maria talked on the phone once a week, and Irene always asked how Teddy was doing, and she would hear how he was going strong in his late 80’s, then updating Alice about a man she did not know.

About a year later, on one of their weekly phone calls, Maria told Irene that Teddy had passed-away. 

Alice came into her mother’s room after the call ended and Irene was crying.

Alice asked, “What’s wrong, Mom?”

Constance softly said, “Teddy died”.

Odd that she would seem so sad over a man she did not know that well, and not shed a tear over her husband of 65 years when he died.

She genuinely appeared to be sad.

And that’s when Alice realized that her mother ran away from her home in Philadelphia, her family, her Greek heritage because she was in love with a man she would never have, Teddy.

The romantic story of Irene and Harry’s elopement was never romantic on Irene’s part.

It was an escape.

It is still just a theory Alice believes, as no one is alive to verify any of it, but after seeing her mother cry that day, it was then that it all made sense.