2 comments

Funny

Jesse tapped her foot impatiently. What's taking so long? She glanced at her watch for the fifth time and groaned. She was going to be so late. She sipped her morning coffee and continued to fidget around the empty lobby. It's been six minutes, where are the elevators? The silence of the room was unbearable but thankfully it was broken by her ringing cell phone. She pulled it out of her purse and answered without looking at the caller ID. Her voice was crisp and business-like when she spoke. ''Hello, this is Jesse."

A soft woman's voice came through the phone. "Hey Jess, I'm downstairs waiting. They made me move the car cuz they were clearing the snow but I'm as close as possible to the front."

Jesse let out a sigh of relief. At least she could count on Isabelle to be punctual. "Thanks Isa, I wasn't looking forward to walking in the snow. This weather is getting ridiculous."

"Yeah, it's getting pretty bad out here, are you on your way down?"

Jesse looked at her watch again. "Yes. I'm just waiting on the stupid elevator." As if it had been waiting for that moment, one of the two elevators had finally decided to stop on her floor and she stepped in. "Alright, I'm coming down now."

"Okay, I'll see you in a minute."

Her phone clicked off just as the doors slid closed and she started to descend. She wanted to just make the elevator appear on the ground floor but resigned herself to the sensation of slowly falling. The box had only gone down two floors before it stopped again and the doors slid open. Jesse resisted the urge to groan. Why do people want on now? Couldn't they have waited? She didn't even look up as the person stepped into the elevator and the doors closed again. Please no-one else get on. She silently pleaded. Her phone pinged, indicating a text from Isabella. Had to move again, I'm down the street to the left. Jesse hadn't even begun to type back when the elevator suddenly lurched and shuddered violently. The lights overhead flickered for a moment, then went out. Jesse heard a sharp intake of breath from her left but was too distracted to notice. "What's going on?" Her voice and hands shook with the movement of the elevator, and her phone dropped onto the floor. Now she was feeling blindly for it, or anything really. Now the shaking stopped and Jesse stood again, waiting for the lights to turn on and the box to start moving. Nothing happened.

"Did- did the power go out?" A deep voice came from beside her, making her jump. She had forgotten there was someone else in the elevator.

"I think so." Jesse located her phone and turned the screen brightness up. "Should we call someone?" There was no answer so she looked towards the man and was surprised to see him clutching his shirt. " Are you alri-" She trailed off as she noticed that his chest was heaving up and down like he was struggling to breath. "Hey! What's wrong, are you hurt?" She had never witnessed a panic attack before so she just watched as the man turned pale and backed away from her until he hit the wall and slid down it. Jesse crouched down next to him and did.....nothing. She felt completely helpless in this situation. "What do I do, what do I do?" She said aloud.

The stranger met her eyes. "Can't.....breathe." He wheezed.

Jesse thought for a moment. "Breathing exercises!" She exclaimed. "I do them with my sister, here give me your hand." She had to pry his hand away from his shirt to place it on her own chest. "Copy me, follow my breathing." She instructed and started to breath deeply and slowly. After a few seconds she noticed with relief that he also began to breathe slower. The color came back to his face and he seemed calmer. It took a few minutes but she knew he was fine when he asked for her name in a quiet voice. "Jesse. Jesse Whitlen."

He nodded. "Conner Baskly. Thanks for the help."

"You're welcome," Jesse hesitated. " um, may I ask why that happened?"

Conners cheeks turned pink. "I have claustrophobia. I thought would be ok because I've ridden these elevators before but when it started shaking and the lights when out I-I just lost it."

Jesse nodded understanding. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about." She said matter-of-factly. "These things happen and when they do I'm glad it was a handsome guy like you and not some wrinkly old lady." Jesse laughed at her own joke then stopped. Her eyes widened in horror. Did I really just say that he was handsome? What is wrong with me?

Conner looked mildly shocked for a moment but then a smile crept onto his face. "Well, I'm glad it was a beautiful woman like you here to help me....though I guess an old lady would have been ok too." His smile widened and Jesse smiled back.

"Can I get your number?" She blurted out. "I mean, since we both agree that the other is cute and you do kind of owe me for helping you and I think there's a coffee shop down the street that is probably snowed in but we can go somewhere else if you wan-" She probably would have continued to ramble if Conner hadn't cut her off saying:

"For goodness sake yes i'll give you my number."

Five minutes later the elevator doors had been pried open by the management and they were pulled out onto the second floor. Numbers were exchanged and a date was made for that Friday. As Jesse walked towards the stairwell she thought about the man she had met. How on earth am I supposed to explain this to Isabella? Wait, Isabelle! I have work! She broke into a run, almost falling down the stairs, and headed straight outside. When she managed to find Isabelle's car she was met with a warm heater and a dirty look. Jesse smiled. "You'll never believe what happened."

September 11, 2020 14:42

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

2 comments

Jessica C
01:38 Sep 17, 2020

Hi! Here from the critique circle! So here's my critique. You have a great, clean little story here. Now take it further. You establish the Jesse character well; right away we get the sense that she has no time for nonsense, and getting stuck on an elevator is definitely nonsense. But then in just a few sentences your objective (the characters getting together) is met. I think your stakes are too low. Maybe she and Conner don't get along right away? Maybe she's annoyed that Conner would be having a panic attack. I would have liked...

Reply

Esperanza Parker
19:42 Sep 17, 2020

Thank you for the feedback! The only way you could overstep is if you cursed at me a bunch lol. I will take what you said to heart and try to incorporate more of it into my writing. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.