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Submitted into Contest #58 in response to: Write about a character who’s stuck in an elevator when the power goes out.... view prompt
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2 comments
Hi! Here from the critique circle! So here's my critique. You have a great, clean little story here. Now take it further. You establish the Jesse character well; right away we get the sense that she has no time for nonsense, and getting stuck on an elevator is definitely nonsense. But then in just a few sentences your objective (the characters getting together) is met. I think your stakes are too low. Maybe she and Conner don't get along right away? Maybe she's annoyed that Conner would be having a panic attack. I would have liked...
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Thank you for the feedback! The only way you could overstep is if you cursed at me a bunch lol. I will take what you said to heart and try to incorporate more of it into my writing. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me :)
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