If You Knew You Were Fictional

Alex turned on his police siren. He was chasing a thief who'd just robbed the Brooklyn museum.

"This is officer Vega, I have the target in my sights, do you copy?"

A woman on the other line crackles over Alex's speaker. "This is officer Collins, I believe the target stole a massive Alexandrite stone, it's a very rare gemstone that could be sold for thousands of dollars. "

"Why would someone try to steal the Alexandrite in broad daylight?”

Officer Collins sighed heavily into her mic. "It's always those dam authors. Always wanting to create a compelling story line. Can't they have at least a little sympathy for us Fictionals?"

Alex nodded. "Who's the author this time? Pseudonymous Bosch? James Riley? We all know he loves messing with Fictionals."

"No, it's actually a new one this time. Matthew Thorsen. Officer Blaine told me that they’re doing this for a writing competition. The nerve someone must have to play with our lives for something so childish as a competition!"

The thief's car swerved off to the right and Alex almost crashed into a building!

"Matthew! That was not nice! Who the hell tries to kill the main character?" Alex cried like the baby he sometimes is.

"Um, has anyone ever told you about Harry Potter? For a little while, his author, J.K. Rowling killed him."

Alex shuttered as he took a sharp left. "What Non-Fictionals do for fun is disgusting."

A beep sounded on Alex's GPS. "Two more targets on me. I need back-up!"

"Already one step ahead of you." Officer Hayden Smith, one of Alex's friends said. "I'll try to cut off the thief."

"Collins do you copy. Can you triangulate our positions, see where this guy is going." Alex said.

"Ah, see if he might have friends in high places. I can do that." Only seconds later Collins replied, "They’re heading towards the black-market Officer Alister and I busted last week. Maybe this guy is meeting with someone else?”

"Fine, then can either you or Alister get over here?" Smith said. "You guys know this place the best. Maybe you can find some secret entrance we wouldn't know about."

"Alister's on a stakeout for a huge drug bust, but I can get over there. Just let me-" Collins's line cut out.

"Collins." Smith said.

"The door's locked." She said after a moment.

Alex sped up. "What do you mean the door's locked? How the hell can a door lock someone inside the building?"

Collins slammed her fist against the glass window. "It's the authors! They’re keeping me from influencing the story!"

"Ok, we can still do this. Collins, you can just tell us where to look when we get to the black-market warehouse." Smith requested.

"It’s fine." Alex said. "Smith and I can do this. You were right, the thief is heading straight for the black market."

"Still though, why would he go there?" Collins interjected. "They must know that it's a dead end." 

Alex sighed. "Like Collins said earlier, what if this guy has some friends waiting to help them escape. It's happened before."

Officer Smith's car pulled up from Fall Street next to Alex. 

A few more seconds passed of silence before the thief's car came into view. It was a black Mercedes, parallel parked in front of the front door to the warehouse. Smith and Alex stumbled around the building searching for another entrance. 

"Wait a second." Smith said. "They would have parked that car in front of the door, so we'd be forced to use another entrance. What if it's a trap?"

"Good idea, I'll go around to the front door and find a way in." 

Alex thought this was a good idea, but the second he turned around, a heavy gust of wind came and turned him back towards Smith. 

"Wha?" Smith said. "I guess you can’t go that way, the wind is too strong." 

Alex growled. "At a certain point, the things authors do to us Fictionals to put the story back on track just don't make sense." 

Alex and Smith continued towards the back of the building. Eventually, they came across a shattered window they could crawl through. 

The second Alex and Smith had climbed into the building, five thieves had guns trained on them. Alex could also see the massive Alexandrite rock over by the front door to the warehouse. 

"Would you look at that." Smith said, raising his hands so the thieves wouldn't shoot. "If we had used the front door, we could have taken the treasure back and we would’ve caught these guys off guard." Smith quickly realized it is stupid to dwell on past consequences and that he will most likely die by the hands of these thieves that he could have stopped so easily. What a shame. 

"Where are you guys?" Collins's voice is crackly and unclear. "I can't pick up a good reading of your location." 

All the thieves jumped at the sound of a third cop entering the conversation, but they still kept their guns steady on Alex and Smith. 

Alex looked around the room for something that could help him. That's when he realized that the front door was propped open just a little. But that door wasn't open when they arrived. If it was, they definitely could have just climbed over the car and entered the building. 

Alex dismisses this as nothing, but after a moment, Smith sees it too. There was no way they could have missed the open door.

Alex spoke very slowly, as to not alarm the thieves. "Do you ever close that door?" Alex nodded his head towards the front door.

The thieves had a puzzled look on their faces as they shook their heads.

Alex smiled wickedly as a team of backup rushed through the exact door they were talking about. Together, the cops were able to get the gemstone back to the museum and the thieves to jail without anyone getting hurt.  

Afterwards, when Collins asked Alex and Smith how they tricked (not outsmarted) the thieves and the author. Alex responded like this:

"We noticed that the front door would give us a clean view of the gem, and we didn't notice that the first time." Alex said.  

Plot holes. 

Happens to the best of us.