Never Been Surer

“Will you marry me?”

“Renee?”

“Are you still breathing?”

“Yes, yes, yes, you stupid man! Of course, I’ll marry you!”

“Good, because I was starting to get a little worried –”

******

“Do you, Cyril Jameson, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, till death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Do you, Renee Salazar, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, till death do you part?”

“I do.”

“I declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

******

“Are you sure about this? There’s no going back.”

“I’m sure. I’ve never been surer.”

“See, that’s a sort of thing you shouldn’t say. What if I want something else from you in the future? Then you’ll be surer than ever won’t y –”

******

“I think you need to come here, quick.”

“Cyril!”

“What, what is it? What are you yelling for?”

“Look! I don’t know if this is actually correct or not, but it shows two lines, which means that I’m –”

“You’re pregnant?”

“You don’t sound happy.”

“I am. I am happy. See?”

“No, no, you’re not.”

“Cyril. What is it? Talk to me.”

“To take care of a child, we need money. And to get money, I need a job. Which I don’t currently have. So…”

“So, we’ll look for jobs. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”

“You really think so?”

“I’ve never been surer.”

******

“When are you coming home?”

“I’m working overtime, so I can get a bit more cash.”

“Cyril?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too honey. I’ve got to go now, don’t stay up too late.”

******

“That’s our baby’s heartbeat! We can hear his heartbeat!”

“Look baby, your daddy is crying already.”

“I’m not.”

“Baby, promise me, that when you grow up, you will be a better liar than daddy is.”

******

“I think he’s coming.”

“For real?”

“Mmm. Oh, that hurt bad. I think we need to go. Right now.”

******

“Just one more push Renee, one more!”

“You said that like years ago, and he still hasn’t come! Liar!”

“This time I mean it, come on honey! I know you can do this!”

“There you go. That’s it. That’s my girl.”

“What do you want to name him?”

“Isaiah.”

******

“Cyril!”

“What? What happened?”

“Isaiah said his first word!”

“Really? What did he say?”

“Tell him what you said.”

“Go on honey.”

“Da – da.”

******

“Okay, have we got everything?”

“Bag, colour pencils, sandwich, water, yes! I think we’ve gotten everything!”

“Okay Isaiah, Dada will drop you to school now. I love you!”

“I wuv you, Mama.”

“Bye-bye!”

“Bye, darling!”

******

“What, what happened?”

“That-that mean boy in the park pushed me. And I got a boo-boo.”

“Oh no, don’t worry now. There. I kissed your boo-boo. Doesn’t it feel better now?”

“A wittle bit better.”

“Well, mama is going to put some ointment on it, and it will feel much better. Then we are going to the park and that boy is going to say sorry to you!”

“What’s that boy’s name?”

“Jacob.”

******

“Hey. Just get some milk when you come home.”

“Sure, what’s Isaiah doing?”

“He’s playing outside with Jacob.”

“Wait, that boy who had pushed him down?”

“The same. You’d be surprised how fast these children forget things.”

******

“Have you called Jacob?”

“He’s on his way here.”

“Alright. Now do your best, mama is always going to love you no matter what.”

“I know.”

“Isaiah!”

“He’s here!”

“Good luck with soccer honey!”

“Thanks, mama! Bye!”

******

“He did what?”

“Isaiah topped the school!”

“Really?”

“And he got into the school soccer team!”

“Yes! I knew he could do it! Is he around? Give him the phone.”

“He’s talking to Jacob about it. I’ll tell him you’re really happy for him.”

******

“Mama, dada.”

“What is it, honey?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong buddy? You look all serious.”

“I need to tell you guys something.”

“Go ahead.”

“Phew. Okay. I’m going to say it now.”

“There are actually two things.”

“Firstly, I’m gay.”

“Called it!”

“Hey, I called it first!”

“No, you didn’t Cyril, I did. You remember when I told you that I saw him staring at that guy too long in that movie. I totally called it.”

“Wait what? You guys knew?”

“We had a feeling that you were.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“We wanted to hear it from you.”

“Anyways, what was the second thing you wanted to say bud?”

“I think I’m in love with Jacob.”

******

“He said – he said he doesn’t love me like that.”

“Oh no. I’m sorry honey. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“No. Jacob is the only one.”

******

“Jacob! What a surprise to see you here!”

“Hey, Mrs Jameson. Is Isaiah around?”

“I’ll call him. Isaiah!”

“What, mama? What is it? Who – Jacob?”

“We need to talk man.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Isaiah don’t be like that. At least hear him out.”

“I’ll give you guys some privacy.”

“What is it? Here to stomp on my heart a little further?”

“No, it’s to tell you that I haven’t been totally honest with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I didn’t tell you the truth. I’m such a coward, even though you were so honest with me, I couldn’t tell you.”

“What couldn’t you tell me?”

“Jacob?”

“That I’m in love with you too.”

“I know that I’m late and I’m such an idiot for not saying it back, but I promise that I –”

******

“Okay, come on, open it!”

“Yeah buddy, you’re killing us right now!”

“Why do I feel like you’re more excited than me?”

“Because we are! Now, open it, open it.”

“Shoot.”

“It’s okay buddy, there are so many other universities you can apply to –”

“I’m just kidding, I got in!”

“You got it! He got in!”

“Yay!”

******

“Don’t forget about us in your new posh university with your posh friends. Minus you Jacob, I know you’re not that posh.”

“Thanks, Mrs Jameson, I appreciate it.”

“I won’t forget about you guys, not now, not ever.”

“Oh, come here.”

“I’ll call you once I get there, I promise.”

“Bye honey!”

“Bye!”

******

“How is it going?”

“Isaiah? Are you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“What’s wrong? You sound a bit off.”

“School’s hard. And I’m stressed out.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure it’ll get better with each day.”

“You promise?”

“Of course, I promise.”

******

“Will you marry me?”

“Isaiah?”

“Yes, yes, yes, you stupid man! Of course, I’ll marry you!”

******

“Do you, Isaiah Jameson, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, till death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Do you, Jacob Roberts, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, till death do you part?”

“I do.”

“I declare you husband and husband. You may kiss, well, each other.”

******