Just say it

Your 29 years old and in a relationship with the most perfect guy you could ever think about. You guys don’t have much, but you have one another. Your parents don’t always get along, but you guys make it work. You met him when you were only 19 and you have known each other now for 10 years and a few months. You know the next step is coming in your relationship and you’re so excited about it. His currently at work and you’re getting dressed for a day out with your family.

You reach for your favourite black pants and green crop top. You know your 29, but you still love crop tops especially on a warm day like today. You then also reach for your blue mask and smile. A paper fells out from under the mask. Your boyfriend has written you a note.

Hey sweedy

Be careful and wear your mask, they say the corona virus is only beginning to spread. I don’t want to lose you ever. Drive save and see you at 5.

Love Jack.

You smile to yourself and also grab the hand sanitizer he left there for you. You walk downstairs grab your car keys and house keys lock the door and gate and climb in your car.

While driving to your family you feel a little bit foggy in the brain , but you assume it’s only your regular anxiety kicking in like always. You also assume that the fogginess in your brain is also from a lack of oxygen not because you’re wearing the mask, because you’re not your driving, but because of the intense heat outside and the lack of air condition in the car.

A few miles from your family home, there’s an accident in the road. You slow down your car and stop at the now stop and go for the accident. You’re not at all thankful for the disturbance in your drive to your family home, because of the lack of oxygen and the paranoid feeling that comes with being near a place of someone that’s past on.

You find it odd that there would be an accident in the road , because its still lockdown level 3 , but you do not ponder on this for as you begin to ponder the stop and go signals go.

You drive past the deceased death scene and feel a sudden rush of coldness spreading over you.

You ponder on the fact that if your boyfriend didn’t let you sleep a little late that morning it could have been you that died.

At your family home the curtains are drawn and their car is out of the garage also upon parking your father greets you and tells you that today they would driving with their car seeing as you have to budget and safe and they want to help you by not using that much gas money.

You try to persuade your parents you are okay, but then your little brother says:

“Sussa told me the other day that she doesn’t even have bread in the fridge.”

You give your brother a stern look to shut the hell up, but he just continues.

“Isn’t that funny.”

He starts to laugh, but your dad gives him now a stern look and his laughter begins to fade.

Upon walking in your mother hugs you and your Father starts blabbering.

“She doesn’t even have bread in in the house and she needs to pay for everything ... I still don’t understand why she moved…”

Your face begins to fall, because your family never approved of your boyfriend although you love him and he only makes you happy.

“Dad please, not now.”

You sigh.

20 minutes later your whole family were in the car, masks close by and ready to do a few shopping.  Firstly you went to Game. At Game the store was very busy and you guys had to keep your distance from everyone.

Your mother bought you a few things there with your father just giving you looks as if he doesn’t think you made the right decisions in moving out of the house. Your brother being the kid he is ran in the store like crazy and you had to go after him like always to catch him.

You finish at the store with your family and head to Fruit and Veg to get a few fruits and Vegetables like the name suggests.

At the store you and your brother reach for the same pineapple because you both love pineapple and debate the fact which one of you is the best child to get the last pineapple.  Your father jumps in snatch the pineapple sticks out his tongue and puts the pineapple in his trolley.

After finishing with the shopping you guys head to Macdonald’s drive through to get something to eat, but you feel stranger and dizzy and decide to take your mask of seeing as you’re the only one in the car with it still on. A breath of fresh air hits you and you pass out.

…

You open your eyelids to only find yourself in a small white room with lots of equipment around you and a heart monitor to your left. You frown you don’t know why you would be in the hospital if only you passed out , but soon your joined with some concerning faces, your boyfriend his family and your family is standing around you.

They are arguing, but soon they are silenced by the doctor entering. You thank heaven for this, because you have a strange headache and smile to yourself. The doctor asks everyone to leave the room with your mother debating and your father and then everyone starting a fight again. The doctor only signals the nurse to take everyone outside and you are now all alone with the doctor.

The doctor looks you up and down, touch your head and checks your heart rate.

“I don’t know how to say this..”

The doctor begins.

The first thought that came to mind is that you probably have the coronavirus now, but the doctor silence that thought with the following words:

“You don’t have the coronavirus, but you have a tumour in your brain and if we don’t operate you might get paralysed.”

You smile only to let the smile fade once you hear that you have a tumour in your brain you sigh.

The doctor leaves the room with the following question on your mind should you let them operate while the coronavirus outbreaks are so high.

The whole family returns only to argue again about something. Now it is about  who wasn’t safe enough and gave you the coronavirus. Your boyfriend gives you apologetic look and stands next to you holding your hand.

“I love you, you know that right? I’m here for you no matter what?”

Just say it your remind yourself. Say that you don’t have the coronavirus you knew you’d regret it if you don’t, but out of the blue you say the following words that you should have told them on a softer note:

“I have a tumour, they need to cut it out or I’m paralysed.”

You scream the words.

 One by one everyone looks at you.

The room is silent only for the heart monitor.

You can think clearly now.