A White Lie Won’t Hurt Anyone But Me

“Stella...I‒I...I think I’m gay!”

“And I need to go home and watch the next episode of my korean drama! Now will you shut the hell up and help me with this damn banner!” Stella yelled back as her usual self with no hesitation what-so-ever, as if what I had just said was just a normal thing to say like, “Oh, what lovely weather we’re having today?” Although I do think it’s slowly starting to be acknowledged and normalized, it still’s got a long way to go towards being accepted with open arms and no judgemental views. I don’t think judgemental views will be eradicated in the near future, cause that would be stripping an individual's right to their own opinion, but I hope discimination does lessen and that people learn to keep their mouth shut if they’ve got nothing nice or useful to say. At least that way it’d be less suffocating to live in this world. But back to the matter at hand. I honestly don’t think Stella even heard what I said cause she’s been cursing, with no filter, rather loudly and complaining the entire time as we started to help decorate and set up the gym for prom next week. So, I was a bit stunned to see her wave away my gut wrenching coming out moment which has been eating me up ever since I started to come to terms with it as nothing important compared to the next episode of her korean drama. Which I have to say she does take a bit seriously. Along with her anime and sleep. Never, and I mean never wake her up from her afternoon naps. Well, unless of course you want to end up looking like you got run over multiple times by a group of wild buffaloes. Yeah. definitely not fun, but have I learned my lesson? Absolutely...not. 

I glanced up at Stella fiddling with push pins and struggling to put up the banner while trying not to fall to her death from the step ladder. Thank God I put out some folding mats. I don’t want to be the one at fault for not stopping my daredevil best friend from being an idiot and standing on her tiptoes, barefoot, on the already rusty old step ladder. Dear God, who I still question, if you’re out there, please just make sure this idiot doesn’t fall to her death. I really need a nutjob friend like her. Their rare, once in a lifetime, creatures to find and I was just lucky to have one end up being my next door neighbour. 

I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself, yet again, ready to properly do my coming out to my best friend who means the whole world to me. 

“Stella. Did you even hear what I just said?” 

“Yes, yes. Now can you throw that stapler up? These damn push pins ain’t doing it. Oh, also throw up some tape while you at it.”

“Stella. I’m serious.” I was starting to get a bit annoyed, but completed and threw the stuff up at her, with terrible aim, but she caught it with ease. As expected of the ace of the girl’s baseball team. She’d easily be captain if it weren’t for that temper of hers, but then again it’d be too lazy to even take that seriously.

“Stella. I’m serious. I think...I’m gay.”

“Jesus Ollie! Can you speak any quieter than that? Cat got your tongue or something?”

“No...it’s just that‒”

“God I heard you the first time! Now will you let me finish so I can go watch and stream that kdrama or not!?”

“I guess…Sorry.”

“Bloody Hell! I pricked myself! Damn it! Oh, but I do think we should talk.”

“Oh...is that so?” Shit.

“Yeah, cause I still don’t know why the hell you want to eat hay. You a horse in disguise of a human or some‒”

“I said I was gay!” I yelled and shook the ladder.

“Stop screaming you lunatic!”

“You’re the one who’s a nutjob!”

“Don’t shake the damn ladder! You wanna kill me or something!?”

“Maybe!?”

“Go right ahead! Imma make sure I fall right on you and drag you to the grave along with me!” Stella hollered back. The two of us bickered for a bit longer before we tired ourselves out and worked in silence with only the sound of the stapler, stapling the...nevermind. That nutjob’s stapling her light pink locks with the stapler. Which is totally pointless since it barely clings to her silky hair and after a second or two, slips off to only land on the tree bark colored bird’s nest atop my head. Also known as my hair. How the hell did I not notice it sooner. There was already a little pile forming. I sighed. I honestly don’t know what’s going inside her head. Is she disgusted with the fact that I might like girls? I mean, we’re both supporters of the lgbtq community, but I don’t think either of us really went into the specifics if we were a part of the community itself or not. Which is fine as long as we respected the community and had no disgrimination against it. I guess we never did question our sexuality. Even if we did, we didn’t really get the chance to talk about it. Until now that is. Great icebreaker idea, “What’s your sexuality if you’ve got it all figured out and defined? Care to talk about it?” 

“Stop.” What.

“Ollie. You hear me from up here? Cause I sure know you do and if you don’t respond back in the next couple of seconds, I’m going to using my flying triangle slam dunk on you from up‒”

“I can hear you Stella! Don’t even think about jumping down from there.” I warned. She’d really end up killing the both of us. 

“Just making sure that you’re alive and all. Cause you were scrunching up your face.”

“I was not.”

“You were too.”

“Was not!”

“Yes you were you nut job! Anyway, we both know when you furrow that already ugly fa‒”

“Hey!”

“Fat face of yours, it…” She trailed off leaving me hanging. 

“It what?”

“It…”

“Yes?”

“Makes…”

“I would like to know today please.”

“It...It makes me want to punch it even more. Like a punching bag. Bam! Bam! Jab! Kick!”

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” 

“Absolutely nothing sweetheart. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m trying to work here.”

“Yeah. I can see that. By using the stampler as your stress relief ball. Way to be a polluter.”

“Shut up!” Stella snapped. “I didn’t want to be here in the first place, but noo. Those stupid student counsel geeks want us to help out. Why!? Cause the friggin 'cheerleading barbies had to go practice a routine for the prep rally before the dance and we both know they actually be out clubbing with those fat, smelly jocks!” She went off. I imagined steam coming out from her mouth and if someone wanted to defeat the last known human like dragon in the world, here you go y’all. Be my guest, but I bid you goodbye cause you ain’t coming back with Stella’s head least your own body. I understood where she was coming from though. It was a bit unfair and everyone else had already left and we were stuck with the hard part, but this is what you’d expect from a school that favors sports over everything else. Probably wasn’t the best time to come out to her when  she’s pissed as hell, but it was now or never. 

“Haa. Look.” Stella started after calming down a bit. “Knowing you, you tend to overthink and overcomplicate things.” That I admit...is true. “I’m glad you came out and told me when you felt ready or mostly ready at the least. I admit it’s not an easy topic to talk about. Especially when everyone just assumes you’re straight since birth.”

“Yeah...Thanks Stella.” 

“You bet. Also sorry for acting like a douchebag and not taking in seriously.”

“No…” That’s just typical you.