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Drama Funny

Taylor took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the Seattle rain before entering the busy city building. Her heels clicked on the tile floor heading toward the elevator to clock in for the day at the Spa-Tacular Corporation. When the elevator doors slid open, the sound of keyboards ticking away amplified by the northwest rain tapping the windows flooded her senses. 

Taylor sat at her desk and used her front facing camera on her phone to adjust her red lipstick and smooth out her tight brown pony tail. Once satisfied, she straighten her desk out perfectly then logged on to her computer to check her emails. 

The sound of a nasally and high pitched female voice broke her concentration, “Hey girl. I got your coffee.”

Kayleigh, her greatest friend, always came in clutch with the important things. Taylor said, “Oh, my god it’s like you know me or something.” They giggled and sipped the seasonal brew with glee. “So, did you finish the membership drive packet design for Aimee this weekend?”

Kayleigh rolled her eyes and clucked her tongue. “Yeah, totally ruined my plans. I was supposed to go to a house party with one of Drake’s cousins.” Kayleigh said excitedly. “But whatever boss lady wants, she gets.” She rolled her eyes.

Taylor gasped, clutching her metaphorical pearls. “Drake? You mean…he made your hotline bling?”

Kayleigh smiled proudly, “Yes! Well, his cousin but that is pretty close to the same thing. I am almost a Hollywood femme fatale.”

“Uhg.” Taylor slumped. “I can’t believe she ruined that for you.” She huffed. “Well, I’m pretty sure it’s my turn next. Good thing my life is boring so there’s nothing for her to ruin.”

“Yeah, I heard.” Kayleigh sipped her coffee, “Gotta make new aromatherapy protocols just for them to stick with the same ol’ one?” She raised her brow.

 Taylor rolled her eyes.“It’s almost like she tests us, to see how much time we’ll waste before we snap.” She too took a sip from her coffee before continuing. “Like when we had to get everyone those stupid background links that ended up stealing everyone’s identity? Very organized. Very mindful. Very demure.” Taylor dramatically recanted the memory, both of them laughing as they began to focus on the day's work.

They worked in tandem. Even taking breaks and sipping the same flavored latte and laughing at the same office insider jokes in emails. Corporate life suited them well with their similarly styled three piece, feminine blazer suits and tall stiletto heels. Their aesthetically styled accessories made them social media ready at any point and at any time. 

Their synchronized work was interrupted by the raspy voice of an older woman in the large office behind them. “No, no, NO. This is all wrong! I told you I wanted the franchisees to commit to a one year contract with THIS vendor, not this one! Now we’ll have to pay double what we budgeted!”

The poor assistant stumbled over her words, her perfectly curled blonde hair bouncing along her quivering shoulders as she cried. “Amie please, I have your note right here that says you wanted to have the franchisees commit to this vendor. See?”

Aimee’s voice deepened with disapproval. “Don’t patronize me, Jessica. I gave you very clear instructions and your inability to be organized your own problem.”

“Please, Aimee, if you just look at the last email you sent me…” Jessica pleaded.

“Get out.” Aimee said, tossing back the contract receipt in her direction. “Clear your desk. You’re fired.” The rest of the floor became silent as Jessica sniffed and sobbed out of the building, holding her box of belongings, dropping a few pieces of office supplies on her way out.

Kayleigh side eyed Taylor and said, referring to the spontaneous new job opening, “You’re not thinking about going for it, are you?”

Taylor tilted her head to the side, her unblinking eyes unamused at Kayleigh’s dig. “I mean it’s open to everyone. So, anyone can go for it, right?”

Kayleigh huffed. “Right, but I have seniority so that kind of takes you out of the picture.” She shrugged. “I don't want to be mean, bestie. Just looking out for your feelings, that's all.” She gave a condescending smile to her.

Taylor tapped her fingers on her desk in a singsong way before replying, “I would hate to see your ambitions…squashed because you shot too high from your ego.”

Kayleigh rolled her eyes. “Ok, we’ll see. May the best baddie win.”

“You’re on.” 

With a whip of their hair they went straight back to work with determination unbeknownst to them before. Feverishly, they worked to organize each and every aspect of the office in hopes to be called for a task by the great and powerful Aimee Harrington. She was the CEO of the entire corporation and being in her circle meant everything.

After a while, the door to her office propped open. Taylor eyed Kayleigh for a moment. She could see that she was distracted responding to client issues. Slowly and with stealth, Taylor stood from her desk and began walking down the hall with quick and nervous steps.

Kayleigh propped up the minute she heard Taylor’s stuttering steps. She stood with determined force, making her way to Taylor until they stepped in time together. “What are you doing?” She bit in a hushed voice.

“I am just seeing if Aimee needs anything.” Taylor lifted her head high, unbothered by Kayleigh’s persistence.

“No. You don’t need to put yourself out there when you aren’t even on the board, Taylor.” Kayleigh lashed with her acrylic tipped venomous words.

“Well, your seniority doesn’t mean much when there’s been two assistants hired while you were already here. Sounds like you aren’t on the board.” Taylor lashed back. 

They quickened their steps to the point of near jogging. Aimee appeared at the door. She was on her cell phone yelling at the vendor that Jessica had signed the contract with. As she argued, she slowly pushed the door closed leaving the two tandem contestants standing still and without resolve.

Taylor spun to face Kayleigh, anger doing its best to show on her freshly botoxed face. “You distracted me-a!” She whined.

“Well you tried to trip me!” Kayleigh spat back.

“What? I did not!” Taylor contested.

“Then why does my shoe have a scuff!” Kayleigh pointed down to her scuffed red heel.

Taylor crossed her arms and said with venom, “Because, you bought them at Ross.

Kayleigh gasped, her mouth agape at the audacity. “You. Take. That. Back.” She demanded.

“No.” Taylor said pointedly.

Kayleigh pointed a freshly manicured finger at her, “How dare you insult my style. I thought we were friends, Taytay?”

Taylor uncrossed her arms and sighed, “You’re right. That was too far.”

“Thank you for respecting my boundaries.” Kayleigh said.

Taylor put a hand on her shoulder and said, “Of course, what are friends for?”

The door opened once more and they both fought to be the first in Aimee’s wake. The CEO strutted through the door, ring adorned hand clutched the phone saying, “Listen Scott, this contract is an hour old, you can either void it, or I’ll tell every franchisee to discontinue their independent services with you. Do you understand?” She hung up the phone without waiting for an answer.

She was tall and athletically slender, her skin bronzed from years of tanning bed use. She narrowed her eyes and asked, “Can I help you, ladies?”

Stuttering, Taylor said, “We just wanted to let you know we were available if you needed anything.” Kayleigh glared at her.

“Hm.” Aimee tapped her chin. “Well, I guess I do have a position open now don’t I? Very astute ladies.”

“I can send that email to the right vendor if you need me to, Aimee.” Kayleigh blurted, Taylor fuming with a competitive edge.

“No, no I will take care of that. Why don’t one of you find the compliance report for the PNW franchisee locations and find out who needs a 'long vacation'.” They both stood awaiting more instruction when Amie motioned, “Well, go on, I haven’t got all day.”

They fought for the last word as they blurted, “Of course; yes; right away.” 

As they hurried back to their desks, Taylor scrunched her nose and said, “Well, you heard her. She wants me to run compliance. Better luck next time, bestie.” 

“Pfft.” Kayleigh retorted. “She clearly asked me. Your delusions are cute though, boo.”

When Kayleigh began typing in the report portal, Taylor said passively, “You’re right. I guess…” She sighed. “Let me know if you need any help.”

“Aw.” Kayleigh smiled. “You are doing the right thing. It’s a lot of pressure in this position. I would hate to see you stressed out.”

“Way to girl boss.” Taylor stood from her desk and asked. “Coffee?”

“If you act it, live it, love it, then you get it. So yeah, in my mind, I am already the executive assistant.” Kayleigh explained. “And yes, always yes to coffee.”

Taylor walked to the coffee station, licking the paper cup before pouring the coffee. An idea struck her as she strutted back to their desks. Kayleigh was vehemently typing away when Taylor stepped then ‘tripped’ over the power cord to the computer, slamming the coffee cup next to her. 

Kayleigh slapped her monitor and pushed the power button to the computer. “What did you do?”  She fumed.

 “Oh shoot,” Taylor stuck out her lower lip in fake concern. “I don’t know what happened.” She shrugged. “Don’t worry. I’ll finish that report for you.” She wiped the spilled coffee off her hands and added, “What are friends for?”

Kayleigh nodded her head, angry and impressed. ‘Ok. That’s how you want to play? You’re on.”

Kayleigh had waited for Taylor to use the restroom when she quickly used Taylor’s work station to send a chat to the entire floor that said, “Hey, do you have Monistat? I’m about to call 911 to put out the fire-crotch over here!” She clicked send and the entire floor began to mutter and laugh.

As Taylor walked by, everyone looked in her direction and everything went still. Jessica had come back to pick up the rest of her things and whispered to Taylor, “Hey, I got this for you. You’re so brave for sending it through the whole employee chat, though.” She sniffled.

“What are you talking about?” Taylor asked, taking the cardboard tube of medicine.

“The message you sent. About needing Monistat.” Jessica explained.

Taylor dropped the medicine on the ground and screamed. “Are you serious?”

The floor broke its stare and went back to work. Jessica asked, “So, you don’t need it then?”

“Uhg!” Taylor moaned, “No! Jessica. I don’t need the fucking Monistat.”

“Ok. I mean. It’s ok if you did. It happens.” Said Jessica, unphased by Taylor’s sudden mood change.

“Oh, my god. This is why you were fired.” Taylor stomped away, leaving Jessica to clean out the rest of her belongings.

Taylor and Kayleigh went full speed ahead and unleashed ravenous revenge on one another. Screens were flipped, keyboards were unplugged, the backs of their chairs loosened to the point they fell upon sitting, legs up turned and dangling.

Aimee had come around the corner and asked, “So, how is the report coming?”

Taylor said, “Don’t worry, I have it all taken care of. I contacted the franchisees in an email with a list of providers that are out of compliance.”

“I went ahead and deactivated their employee profiles.” Kayleigh chimed.

“What?” Taylor asked.

“Aimee said they needed a ‘long vacation.’ So I took away their ability to be booked until they become current.” Kayleigh explained, smirking at Taylor.

“Well, look at you going above and beyond, Kayla.” Aimee said.

“It’s Kayleigh.” Kayleigh corrected.

Aimee dismissed the correction and said, “Now. I need one of you to head to my office in about an hour. I need help deciding which location to shut down.”

“Are their sales numbers not up to par?” Taylor asked.

Aimee chuckled. “Ha! No. The employees keep complaining about raises so I am going to remove the headache.”

“Slay, girl!” Kayleigh snapped her fingers and Aimee simply stared before heading back to her office.

Taylor stamped her foot and said, “Oh, my god. Kayleigh, you are such a kiss ass! ‘Slay’ seriously?”

“What?” Kayleigh retorted. “You are literally kissing her ass as much as me. Either way, I am obviously getting the position.”

Taylor narrowed her eyes and flipped her ponytail. “Whatever, bitch. When it comes down to it, we’ll see who eats up this meeting.”

As the minutes ticked by, Kayleigh sighed and excused herself to use the restroom. Turning her head, Taylor could see Aimee through the office door typing away at her computer. Taylor opened her desk drawer where small necessities had piled up. Lip balm, blush, contour, some pens, eye drops, and a small hair brush and mirror. She took out some of the supply and touched up her aesthetic features.

Their time was beginning to run out as the hour ticked by. Both of them organized their portfolios and straightened their appearance. Kayleigh had sipped her coffee before saying, “Well, guess it’s time to see who’s the better girl boss.” She spun on her heel and walked ahead, Taylor followed closely behind.

Shutting the door behind them, they sat in black chairs in front of Aimee’s glass desk. Aimee continued her emails before turning her attention back to the ladies. “So. I understand that you are both interested in the executive assistant position. My one requirement is that you must be available whenever I need you, do whatever I say, and bring my coffee to me at exactly 8:15am with exactly two sugars, one cream, and so help me if you use the blonde roast…Pike’s Place beans only.”

Kayleigh shifted in her seat and said, “Yes. Yes of course.” Her stomach audibly groaned.

“Is everything alright, Katie?” Aimee asked.

“Um.” Kayleigh muttered as she clutched her stomach. “I’m ok. And, it’s…” Another loud gurgling sound echoed in the office.

Taylor whispered to her, “Hey, are you ok? You don’t look good.”

Kayleigh began to sweat as she stood, “I’m sorry.” She walked to the door, stiff backed and locked at the knees. “My stomach…” Flatulence escaped her as she opened the door and she began to jog to the restroom. She yelped as she made it, shoving another woman out of the bathroom and locked the door, sink turned on and fan switched to hide the embarrassing sounds.

Taylor turned her head back to Aimee who sat crossing her arms and said, “Poor thing. Must have eaten something bad.” The perfect amount of sympathy etched in her voice.

“Don’t play dumb, Taylor.” Aimee said.

“What do you mean?” Taylor adjusted her coat and sat straighter.

“What did  you use? Laxative? Prune Juice? Come on, spill it.” Aimee demanded.

Taylor looked at the floor and admitted, “Eye drops. I…I used eye drops.”

“What a nasty, horrible thing to do to your teammate.” Aimee lectured. “That is a total violation of what we stand for. We are supposed to be a family.” Aimee said, glaring down at Taylor.

Taylor’s cheeks reddened. “I know. This position means a lot to me and I would do anything to get it.” 

Aimee tapped her finger in the crook of her arm and said, “Everything you did, the lengths you went to, it’s everything I need in an assistant.” Taylor smiled big until she continued, “Besides, I need someone who is going to throw everything out the window to get these memberships sold. Your friend doesn’t have what it takes...and she’s too smart.”

Confused, Taylor tilted her head and asked, “Too smart?”

Aimee tapped a stack of papers on the desk before handing them to her. “Sign the dotted line and the position is yours.”

Taylor hesitated and looked toward her old desk. Kayleigh was at her station packing some things up before heading out, toilet paper stuck on her heel.

When she finished signing, she handed the papers back to Aimee. She double checked the work and said, “Good. Now, the next order of business…”

“Hold on.” Taylor interjected. “What did you mean by Kayleigh being too smart for the position?”

Aimee sighed and explained, “Look, your friend has brains. She can solve problems and will probably own her own company one day. I don’t need that kind of competition. I want a brain-dead tiktok-girl who will do whatever I say when I say it. That’s you. Also,” She continued, “that one uses an Android phone.” She made a disgusted face and muttered, “I hadn’t realized I hired a criminal.” She tsked.

The look of dread painted on Taylor’s face. “I want to turn down the position.” Taylor muttered.

“Ha!” Aimee spat. “Not a chance. You already signed the dotted line. Now, go get me another coffee. I’m empty.”

Taylor sighed and clarified, “Right, two sugars, one cream?”

With offense Aimee retorted, “What? Who told you that? I want a vanilla latte with two Splenda sprinkled on top. And a cookie. Now go on, I need more caffeine before I meet with this new franchisee.”

Taylor said meekly, “Of course.” 

While she stood in the elevator to grab the coffee, Taylor texted Kayleigh. To apologize or complain whichever came first. The reply said, “ERROR. UNABLE TO SEND.” She checked her facebook and not only was she no longer friends with Kayleigh, the photos of their weekends were being deleted and untagged. Instagram was the same. Even their shared pins on Pinterest were removed.

Taylor wiped the moisture from her cheek. The price of getting everything meant she lost it all too. And that really sucked.

September 20, 2024 06:02

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6 comments

Vsevo Polishchuk
21:52 Oct 08, 2024

Creative approach leading to interesting concept. Very good story!

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Jessica Livolsi
06:07 Oct 16, 2024

Thank you so much!!

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Peyton Gaillard
03:01 Sep 24, 2024

A bit of a slow burn, but it makes the climax and themes hit harder. I do like the idea of an employee being "too smart" for a high-level position and being feared by the boss, an interesting concept. However, my one complaint was how the friendship seemed to break down too quickly, especially with the montage of them sabotaging each other. It seemed to frame the friendship as one that was supposed to be deep but ended up feeling shallow. However, there are several similars between this story and your first one. It is nice that you have your...

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Jessica Livolsi
21:55 Sep 24, 2024

Thank you so much for this awesome feedback! This one was pretty fun to write. The more I write the more I’m finding my style so your comments are super encouraging 🙌🏻

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Peyton Gaillard
13:43 Sep 25, 2024

I understand the struggle. It took me a bit to find and experiment, but what's more, since most of my stories are interconnected, I can compare and contrast how I started to the present. I recommend that if you're still struggling with finding a writing style, to try a different style for your next story. Like for me I wrote about a hero who can stop time and it's from the perspective of a recorder. This is a total deviation from what I'm used and I think that did help with my style, and that it might help you.

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Jessica Livolsi
21:28 Sep 26, 2024

That's a really great tip thank you!

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