A Thread of Destiny

I can see the doctor's finger hazily who is opening a bandage on my eyes. Ply by ply, slow but sure, I can see anymore. It is indeed still imperfect - everything seems blurred - but at least I can see the light now. I can see the dr. Arga's baby bluish room - An opthalmologist who took my case as well as my mom's senior in college - my mom's worried expression, and dr. Arga who is now flashing his finger-sized torch into my eyes.

"So how is it? Is there any problem?" Asks mom.

"It is developing well. The reflex is nice, but take it slow, as it is still adapting to the light. Just don't step out of your room yet in the day, at least until the day after tomorrow. Adjust the light and try not to make it too brightly, just let her eyes adapting to the light." Says dr. Arga.

"How long does it take to fully recovered?" Mom replies.

"Just until she sees everything clearly. Because I'm pretty sure her vision is still blurred. Can you see that paper on the wall, Mel? What does it say?" Asks Dr. Arga.

I shake my head. I can't read anything written on that paper.

"Keep taking the medicine, take more carrots and other vegetable that have vitamin A. And try not to get your head bumped again!"

"So, when can I go home?" I ask.

"Until you can see it clearly. If you're going home now, I'm afraid you still need to adapt to your vision, and home is not safe for now. You have to practice your eyes." Dr. Arga explains.

I nodded, a nurse is putting back my sunglasses and take me to my room using a wheelchair.

So what happens, I go blind since I got into a bus accident on my way home for a vacation from Yogya to Jakarta. I still remember when the driver lost control and my face hit a metal bar from the seat of a passenger in front of me. Since then, everything went dark. I didn't bleed at all, I just got some bruises. I thought I was going to be blind forever. So I have to be hospitalized here 5 days since that accident, and it turned out my sight nerve is traumatized by that hit. Luckily it happens on the toll road near Jakarta, so when my mom heard about the accident, she could fetch me straight away and put me in a hospital where her friend works. In fact, he is a good doctor.

But something seems strange, I keep seeing a red line in the air. Those lines are coming from each people as if it is connected to something. And the lines form a tangled thread in the air. The more people in a room, the more tangled the thread is. So I determined, if I can see clearly and I still see those lines in the air, I will find out what those threads are. And, I just wonder if I also have that thread, because I don't see mine.

* * *

"Mom, do you see that line?"

I point my finger to the red line that I keep seeing until now. I can see everything clearly, I guess I'm fully recovered. I see the thread coming from my Mom, and it stretches way longer until it goes through my door. Mom and Dad still not allowing me to go out of the house, and I guess I have to spend my vacation recovering my sight until it is back to normal.

"What thread?" asks Mom as she turned her head into the door I pointed.

"A thread and it is coming from you."

And suddenly, Dad steps into my room as he brings a plate of mango, my favorite fruit.

"What thread?" asks Dad, as he overheard my conversation between me and Mom.

I look at Dad, and I see that. Yes, I see that red thread. And my Dad's red thread is connected to my mom's.

"I don't know, she keeps talking about the thread," Mom replies while she takes a piece of mango from the plate. Dad gets annoyed, then tease Mom. And they laughed together. It's soothing to see them happy together. I feel happy and peaceful. It makes me want a harmonious marriage.

Then suddenly I got this hypothesis. Seeing my parent's relationship that is so harmonious, and the red thread that connects them. It makes me come to the conclusion that the thread I see is a thread that connects the soulmate. It binds 2 people that are destined to be together forever. But it's just my hypothesis, not a final conclusion. I just need more proof to strengthen my conclusion.

Later on, my big brother Adit and his wife - Rara - comes to see me. But oddly enough, the red strings between them aren't connected to each other. It points somewhere else. Does it mean they are not destined for each other?

I don't know, we will see that. I don't even see mine yet either.

* * *

So it turns out my conclusion was true. The red thread I've seen all this time is a thread that connects the soulmate. So many people I've met are married to their soulmate; while some of them aren't. And those people who are married to someone who isn't destined to be with them - just like my brother and his spouse - will be eventually broken apart. I don't tell anyone about my findings because I'm the only one who can see the thread.

A year after my accident, my brother and his wife were getting divorced. Because he had an affair with his childhood friend Cindy - who was his puppy love. It happened when Cindy chose to sit with Adit, and their friends mocked them. Soon after they divorced, he proposes to Cindy. And yes, they are connected by the thread. I don't support my brother's deed, but I don't blame him because I know they are the real soulmate.

Then what about me? Well, finally I've seen mine after I graduated from college. But it doesn't connect to anyone yet. Even after I get my first job, I don't see my thread connected to anyone in my office. So I wonder how far my thread stretches?

I sip my cocktail and talk to some of my friends at my secondary school's grand reunion. Even I still see those red threads stretching in the air; some of them are connecting to their spouse, some are connected to someone's spouse, even someone's thread is connected to one of my teachers who are already married. I'm pretty sure, those people whose thread is connected to someone - but is having something on their way, either it is because they are with someone else, age gap, or anything - one day they will be reunited to each other no matter how.

"Amelia Christina Lumbangaol! Long time no see!" someone pats my shoulder and says my full name from behind. I look back, trying hard to remember who this guy is.

"Do you remember? It's me Dirga. Your class leader!" He smiles excitedly.

Now I remember him. I'm so surprised that he changed a lot. Dirga whom I remembered was a boy who is brown-skinned, thin, and tall. Now he is well-built, fair-skinned, and wearing glasses. I just realize that my red thread is connected to him!

"Wow! I almost didn't recognize you. You've changed a lot, Dirga. How have you been?" I asked.

"So far okay, I've worked in Malaysia. What about you?" he replied.

"I'm just working here in a private bank."

"That's cool! So, are you alone? Where's your boyfriend?"

"Which boyfriend? I'm single."

"Really? I thought you're in a relationship?"

I just smiled and sip my second glass of cocktail, as he gets me another cocktail. Then suddenly, my curiosity just kicked in. I gathered some courage to ask him.

"Then what about you, Dirga?"

"Actually, I'm home to having a prewedding photo shoot with my fiance. My wedding is in 3 months. Would you like to come? The wedding is in Jakarta. I will introduce you to my best men. They are handsome and have a good career too."

His answer just makes my chest feels so dense. It hurts right in the center of my heart as if something is broken. Sometimes I just wished I'd never had this vision. I'd rather have the concept of soulmate is mysterious than knowing who my soulmate is, even if they are not my boyfriend. He was supposed to be mine, be my soulmate. But he is going to get married to someone else. Actually, I'm still not sure about how I feel about him. Because it's not like I've fallen in love with him. But it still hurts because I know that his thread is connected to me, so his destiny is supposed to be me.

I don't know what to expect, even too afraid to expect. That day, I go home feeling so lonely, empty, and hopeless. But in the bottom of my heart, I still hope that one day, we can be together in the most beautiful way.

* * *

I walked through the aisle in my Dad's arm on my wedding day. Everyone in the Church - including my big family and his - seemed so excited to see me walking through the aisle in my white gown. Especially the aunties, they keep amazed at how beautiful I am. Seems like they can't take my eyes off of me. My husband soon to be is standing still in front of the aisle with the Priest, feeling so touched as I can see his tears hanging in his eyes. I stand up in front of him, he opens my veil, holding my hands, and my Dad sits back on the bench next to Mom.

The priest instructs him to repeat after him.

"Amelia Christina Lumbangaol, I take you as my lawfully-wedded wife, to belong to each other and protect from now on forever, in times of prosperity and lack, in times of health and illness, in times of better or worse. To always love and appreciate one another, until death do us part, according to God's holy law, and this is my sincere promise".

Then the priest looks at me and instructs me to do the same.

"Matias Sudirga Simatupang, I take you as my lawfully-wedded husband, to belong to each other and protect from now on forever, in times of prosperity and lack, in times of health and illness, in times of better or worse. To always love and appreciate one another, until death do us part, according to God's holy law, and this is my sincere promise".

Then the priest gives the blessing, and everyone cheered excitedly with applause as we walked out of the Church.

So, I've been waiting for this moment for 2 years that I finally can be with Dirga. Someone who is my destiny. So many things happened in two years: Dirga called off his wedding a month before the date because his ex's whole family actually disagree with their relationship as they belong to different ethnicity - Dirga is a Batak person, while his ex-fiance is a Bugis person. And I was seeing someone else, but it doesn't go well. Then a year later, he came to me. We went on some dates and then decided to get married.

Well, the concept of soulmate is indeed a mysterious thing. We can't even choose or expect who will be ours. According to my Dad, our soulmate is like our reflection in the mirror. It has several qualities that match with ours, but just like a mirror - your right side is their left side - it completes you in a way that they have what you don't have and vice versa. To make things more uniquely, it comes when we least expecting it.

So if you have a gift like me, would you exchange what is supposed to be yours with someone else as you wanted?