The Girl That Couldn't

She stared at the door to her best friends bathroom the sound of her beating heart filled her ears as she tried to calm her breathing. She knew what laid behind that door, and that scared her even more. She was already too late, she was always too late. 

Tightening her grip around the doorknob she twisted it open. As the door slowly creaked open she saw as her friend Ethan fell to the floor. The blood that should be in his veins flood from his wrist, and onto the floor. Avery the girl that couldn’t. The girl who could stop him. 

Avery’s eyes opened to see that she was back in her room. She had gone back in time to re-live the memory of her friend Ethan. She had tried to stop him from taking his life as he had done a year ago. But she couldn’t. A year ago she had watched the life drain out of him as he said his last words to her, and yet she couldn’t help him. It had been her fault for not saving him, she couldn’t see the pain in his eyes that he seemed to hide too well.  

Avery’s eyes trailed off as she looked at the picture of her, and Ethan. She smiled sadly at the picture of him and her smiling. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath trying to hold back her tears. Avery grabbed the picture looking at it. Ethan had a wide smile spread across his face as his head was laid on her shoulder. Ethan had dark brown fluffy hair that he always loved to run his fingers through, along with his hazel green eyes. Avery smiled at the picture wiping the tears away from her eyes. She was trying to figure out if he was sad in this picture. But yet she couldn’t tell. 

Avery pulled the picture close to her chest closing her eyes,  picturing the moment it was being taken. When she opened them she looked over to see Ethan smiling brightly at her. She smiled sweetly looking into his eyes. Why would God give her the gift to do this when she can’t even save her friend? 

Ethan smiled resting his head on her shoulder. Avery took in a deep breath looking into the camera as she smiled widely at the camera. The man behind the camera looked at the picture and smiled as he handed it back to her. She showed it to Ethan as he titled his head. 

“ Why are you crying, Avery?” Ethan asks.    

Looking back at the picture she sees that their tears falling down her cheeks. Thoughts flowed through her head as she thought of what to say to him. How she was going to ask him why she wasn’t enough to keep him alive. She closed her eyes taking in a deep breath. 

“ Ethan Nestor,” She smiles, as she says his last name. “ Why do you want to leave?” 

He laughs. 

“ What are you talking about?” He asks. 

“ Why do you want to die?” She asks. 

Ethan looks at her as his eyes grow wide. Avery looks away towards her watch she only had 30 seconds before to had to go back to real-time. This was the only thing that could change what happened to him. Avery looks back into his eyes as her’s soften. She presses her lips together as she smiles weakly. Moving her hand closer to his she wraps his hand in Ethans. 

“ Ethan, I don’t have much time. But I want to say I love you,” Avery says.

“ I love you too,” Ethan giggles. 

“ Not like that!” Avery states. “ More than a friend.” 

Ethan looks at her and smiles. Looking back at her watch Avery sees that she only had 15 seconds.

“ Ethan! You’re my light if you leave me I won’t be able to live,” Avery says quickly. 

Avery grabs the back of Ethan’s neck pulling his face closer to hers. She stares into Ethan’s eyes for one more second before pressing their lips together. His lips are soft and sweet. She wishes it could last forever but she knows it can’t. Ethan grips her waist harder pulling her closer. Then it’s over. 

When she opens her eyes she’s back in her room. Avery pulls the picture away from her chest looking down at it. The picture is different now Avery is still smiling but there are tears falling down her cheeks. Hopes springs up in her chest that she might have changed the future. But as she looks around she sees that nothing as changed. 

Avery looks up at the ceiling hoping Ethan is looking back down at her from the heavens. She grabs the picture of her and Ethan setting in on the table in front of her bed. Pulling out a chair in front of her desktop she writes a note to her mother and father. 

Dear mother and father, 

    I’m sorry, I’m sorry for what I’m going to do. I know it’s wrong, and I wish I didn’t have to do it. But it’s hard. I know as your reading this you might me think why your baby girl did what she did. But I can’t live seeing that Ethan is gone and that I couldn’t be there to save him. I couldn’t be the light he needed. Which is what hurts the most. I’m the girl who couldn’t save her friend. Please don’t be sad. Be happy that I’m happy. Love you, mom and dad.

                Sincerely Avery,  

She looks over the note one last time as she lays it on the bed behind her. Avery grabs the chair from her desk setting it under her ceiling fan as she grabs the rope she had hidden under the bed. Stepping onto the chair she tied the rope around the fan as she carefully made a hole big enough for her head. Slipping the rope over her head as she looked at the picture of her, and Ethan. She smiled the first genuine smile since a year. She smiles because she was going to see Ethan again. 

“ See you soon Ethan,” Avery says as she looks up to the ceiling. 

Avery puts one foot in front of he getting ready to push the chair away from under her feet. 

“ Hey, baby,” Someone says walking through the door. M

Avery’s eyes grow wide as she sees Ethan walk through the door. He smiles brightly but it quickly fades as he sees Avery. Ethan runs over to Avery pulling the rope away from her neck pulling her into a hug. Avery flinches at first but realizes this is real. 

“ Don’t leave me yet,” Ethan cries into her shoulder. 

Avery doesn’t say anything, and just grips onto the back of his shirt as she pulls him closer to her. She can feel his gentle touch on her back and it makes her cry. She doesn’t realize till now that she has a bracelet wrapped around her wrist that says, “Ethan’s babygirl.” 

That’s when Avery realizes Ethan’s back. He was back with her. Avery smiled again. Avery had been his light all along as he had been hers. She just had to prove to him that she was.