Balloons

-Are you going to say anything? 

-I don’t….I’m not sure wh…

-You could perhaps share about any emotions you might be experiencing? Or what you think of the balloons. 

-The balloons! 

-You see I remembered that you had expressed pink was a particular favorite of yours. A worthy color for a—

-When did I say that? 

-Last Tuesday between approximately 4:15 and 4:30. Perhaps you don’t remember. You were wearing a pink hairband and remarked that—

-How did you even get my address? 

-I inquired at the restaurant. 

-Mike is a dick. 

-He was a most accommodating gentleman. 

-Look, thank you. This is….nice….I just—

-Oh. My apologies. You are entertaining company. A woman such as yourself must….How careless of me. What a fool I am. What an ignoramus. 

-Hey, no, don’t do that. 

-Ignorant, imbecilic fool. 

-Hey. Hey. Stop that. Dan. Is it Dan?

-It’s Dale. 

-Shit. I’m sorry. 

-No apologies are necessary and I will not accept them. It is I who have taken liberties and inconvenienced you. It is I who should bestowing on you my most sincere regrets.

-It’s okay. 

-A more astute man would have anticipated this. That you would be celebrating in the company of someone...someone special. And now I have taken you from your festivities and from your guest. Or perhaps guests. I only wanted to express to you that I have greatly appreciated the moments we have shared and…

-Dale. 

-Yes. 

-This is….You don’t have to do this. Did you make all these signs? And the...the cardboard cutout of me and the balloons. How did you even fit all of these in your car?

-I employed the assistance of a moving vehicle to transport the items. 

-And the cutout? 

-I had already on hand.

-What!?

-My jest was ill-timed. I apologize. 

-Okay, so that’s a joke? You don’t just have a giant photo of me laying around your house. 

-I would never be so presumptive. Delightful as it would be to glance upon your countenance while—

-Okay thank god. I mean. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I mean. This...whole thing... just took me off guard. But thank you. It’s….it’s sweet. 

-If I was able to induce but a glimmer of joy or momentary diversion, my efforts will not have been in vain. As I said, I have appreciated your tireless efforts and kind attention over the past three and a half months, and as I happened to overhear that today was your birthday I thought I might attempt to brighten your day as you have brightened so many of mine. I hope you don’t think me too forward. 

-I...I mean honestly if any other customer did something like this I would probably call the cops. But I know you mean well and you’ve always been polite and a great tipper. 

-Thank you for seeing that my intentions are pure and not meant to offend or intrude. I will take my leave of you and not keep you from your guest. 

-Okay. Um, well hey do you want to take the balloons and stuff with you? 

-I’m afraid I will have no need for them where I’m going. 

-What do you mean? 

-This parting will be our last I am afraid. 

-You’re not going to eat at the restaurant anymore? 

-Would that I had that ability. I would give anything for the opportunity, even just once more, but unfortunately I am...moving on. 

-Oh, you’re moving? 

-In a manner of speaking. 

-Dale wait. You’re….you’re not sick are you? 

-I’m not sure I understand. 

-Are you...when you say you’re moving on?

-I am moving on to what I believe some refer to as greener pastures. To a place that will prevent us from ever again continuing our brief but pleasant interchanges over sandwich orders and coffee refills. 

-Oh my god I’m so sorry. 

-What ever for?

-I just...Wow. I’m just so sorry. I didn’t know. You always seem so happy when you came in for lunch. 

-That is because the best part of my day is when I take a seat in the corner booth before the dinnertime rush and wait for you to appear in your green apron. 

-Oh my god come here….Listen, you are a brave, brave person. Don’t ever forget that. I know you must have had a….a hard time… you know, in school and everything. Like, maybe you felt like you didn’t fit in or people made fun of you, but never forget that you are a beautiful person. 

-Oh my. Thank you. Thank you. Your token of affection is more than I could have hoped or wished for when I arrived on your doorstep this evening. I will cherish it for as long as I live and shall be reflecting on your warm embrace on my passage to Dayton. 

-Dayton? Is that the name of a...a facility? 

-It is in fact Dayton, Ohio. Have you heard of it? 

-Oh. Do you have family there or...? 

-No, Dayton, Ohio is where I will board the plane that will take me to Algona, Iowa, my new residence. 

-Your new residence? 

-Yes, henceforth I will be residing with my mother’s brother, Dr. William Williamson who is becoming advanced in years and in need of assistance tending to his livestock and crops. 

-Wait. So you’re not dying? 

-Dying? No! Well I should hope not. 

-What the fuck! I thought you were really sick or something. You said you were going to greener pastures! 

-Yes my uncle William tends to large crops of—

-Okay, you meant literal pastures. 

-Yes, precisely. 

-Of course you did. Oh my god I’m an idiot. 

-I beg your pardon ma’am but I have always viewed you as of the highest intelligence and—

-Okay, you know what. Just. Forget it. Nevermind. Help me bring these balloons inside. 

-As you wish. But what about your company?

-Hah. Yeah right. I don’t have any company. I was sitting on the couch eating leftover stir fry and watching Gilmore Girls reruns. 

-A most diverting entertainment series and one of my personal favorites. 

-You’re kidding me. You like Gilmore Girls. 

-Indeed. I believe it is the beauty and directness of the language that catches my attention. The characters say exactly what they mean. 

-They sure do.