Quarantine Love Letter

To the love of my life,

This straight up sucks. I hate that I cannot see you this summer. This is the worst year of my life. Scratch that - ever! This is all stupid. I hate that the airports are shut down that I have to wear this dumb mask everywhere and worst of all, I hate that I cannot see you.  

Allow me to continue on this hate tirade. I also hate that we never talked about our future together. All we would ever dream about was the upcoming summer, which has now been taken away from us.

I wish I would have gotten to you sooner; before everything went into lockdown and the world shut down. I wish I had jumped on a plane, rented a sailboat or gotten extremely good at swimming to cross the forbidden Atlantic to be in your arms this summer. But, we are living in Coronavirus 2020. And everything about it is stupid. Rant over.

I keep thinking about your blond hair and the way that it got even blonder in the summer from the sun. Your tan arms sculpted by days spent throwing hay. Heck, who am I kidding, your whole body is smoking from all the work you have to do around the farm. Maybe I should more seriously consider a life as your wife; I’d no longer need a gym membership.

I hope that made you laugh. I miss hearing you laugh. It's hard to believe that in the year 2020 we would still have people in the world without internet or computers. Thusly, this letter to you. I'm very aware that you most likely will not receive it for weeks, if not months. But I needed you to hear from me somehow this summer.

Everything has been fine on my end. Well, as fine as things can be during a global pandemic. Did you ever think this could happen? I know I did not. I hope you & your family are doing well. Hopefully the animals are also enjoying the warmer weather we have been experiencing.

Remote learning school edition was a joke. The worst part has been seeing my parents each and every day. They sit and "work" while I log in and "study". We all know it's a joke. but we do it anyway. I wish this was all over. I hate this new sense of "normal". Also, I wish people would stop calling it that. This is seriously nothing close to normal.

Normal would be me packing up my bags to go and see you. Normal would be me shopping for cute outfits. Normal would be me going to prom and wishing you were here to be my date. Nothing about this is normal!

I unfortunately need to shift gears and talk about something I have been avoiding for a while. I hate to say it, but I fear that this is our goodbye. Who knows how long this virus will continue and even after it's gone it will take time to get air travel up and moving and countries borders to open. It may be years until we meet again. 

My parents have already started asking about possible suitors and seem antsy for me to start dating here. From the time our love began we knew this day would come. I know that I still hoped we would have this one last summer together. I hope you did as well. 

As we also promised from the beginning, I haven’t told them about us. No one would understand the connection we shared or what brought us together. We are modern day Romeo and Juliet, torn apart by ocean and economic status. In an alternate universe, I hope our souls find each other and get to live together happily without all of these stupid pressures. 

For our current existence, I hope that we both find love in other people. I doubt it will be as real and passionate as what we have. But I hope it’s a love that satisfies. It also pains me, but I’m sure we will meet again. The sad part is that I’m not sure our love story will survive that length of time.

I'd love to hear from you. But I feel as though there is a likelihood you won’t write. I guess there is also a likelihood I actually won’t send this letter either. If it is too painful for you to write to me, I will understand. I only want you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted. 

I feel as though I need to clarify something from earlier. I know that this virus is dangerous and deadly and that people need to take precautions. I know that it is important to wear a mask, not to protect me, but to protect others. I guess it can protect me, but mostly it’s to protect other populations. And I know that my teachers and school systems are doing the best they can to prove me an education while also keeping me safe. I just hate that all of it has taken away this summer, with you.

I hope you are doing well. I have been looking at your countries statistics, they look much better than ours. I think it helps that you are pretty isolated. As long as no one returns ill, you should be good. I do worry about it though. I don’t think the hospital is close by. I’m not even sure how universal healthcare works for a pandemic. I just hope you will stay safe. Even though I won’t see you this summer or probably for many more, I still want you to stay safe and healthy. I will continue to worry about you. 

I’ve probably rambled enough for now. Please please please, stay safe. I hope you find someone to love you as much as I do. I know that you will. I will continue to hold the memories of our summers close to my heart. For now and forever.

Until we met again. 

                       Always,

                         Your Love