Oh, Not You

“Who’re you?”

The question came out harsher than intended. Though it wasn’t without reason. Standing at the door of his booked suite for a long-awaited vacation he had worked an average of two months’ worth of double shifts to afford, Jim was the least pleased to find a stranger sitting on his soon-to-be-bed, unpacking.

The stranger in question seemed just as surprised, though far less vocal about it. He stood by the bed with a calm demeanor, as if assessing the situation, then turned to fully face Jim with an apologetic smile.

“It appears that there is some sort of a misunderstanding.”

It was the accent that struck him as odd at first, then the fancy suit, the straight back and high-up chin, and the general sense of superiority his behavior oozed with. Slick black hair and a charming smile, Jim had seen enough pretentious elites in his line of work to tell that this one was trying to win a competition that hadn’t even begun.

“I’m James,” said the stranger, moving forwards to extend a hand, “I have booked this suite earlier this week since I have an urgent meeting to –"

“Don’t care,” said Jim, cutting him short, “Look, man, no offense but I paid way before you. We’re talking five months’ notice. Now I don’t know what went wrong with the booking but it said it was a single suite. I don’t plan on sharing last second. So how about you pack up your little suitcase and clear it up with the staff downstairs, okay?”

Jim was aware he was coming off as rude, and it must be a habit he picked up over the years from being a homicide detective, but this was his vacation, the one and only, and he wasn’t about to let it get ruined by some guy in a fancy suit thinking himself better because he smells of flowers from a six-feet distance.

He left the door wide open and went to place his backpack on the couch in the lounging area, when he turned around the stranger – James – was still standing by the door, unmoved, and to his surprise, he was laughing.

“I’m sorry, did I say something funny?”

“Apologies,” said James, “It’s the first time someone ignored my handshake. You sure are a pleasant character. What’s your name?”

“Jim. And sarcasm won’t get you anywhere.”

“Neither would your terrible attitude, Jim.”

Silence filled the room for moments to come. Jim clenched his jaw, brainstorming for a solution. The thought of flashing his badge struck him as a possibility but he shook the thought away. He wasn’t one for using his position to his everyday life advantage. If he wanted to get out of this one, he had to do so as a civilian.

“Fine,” he said in a sigh, “I’ll go downstairs with you and we’ll clear this up like adults. Good?”

Pleased, James nodded with a polite smile, then waited patiently at the door until Jim stepped out of the room first. Jim found his cautious attitude upsetting.

“You think I’d slam the door at your face?”

“Are you saying you wouldn’t have at least tried?”

James scrunched up his nose.

“Without batting an eyelash.”

James shook his head with an amused expression. They walked across the hall and down to the first floor. The hotel was a five-star spa-included pool-included buffet-included heaven on earth. Jim thought he had won the lottery when he booked the last cheap ticket available before the prices of the new season skyrocketed above the average. At the end of the day, sharing a room with a stranger should be the least of his problems, but for some reason, this particular stranger was making him want to fight tooth and nail to get the room for himself.

The large clock on the entrance hall showed a few minutes past midnight. The area was quiet, save for the few hotel stayers who roamed around with their fancy margaritas, enjoying their vacation to the fullest. Jim could see himself in the young girl with nothing but a bathing suit, a shot of whiskey in hand, readying herself for a late-night dip.

Instead he turned to the cold, unresponsive receptionist. Upon explaining the situation, she shrugged, unbothered to look into her data beforehand.

“There must be some mistake,” insisted Jim, “I’m sure I booked the suite solo. Can you at least look it up?”

Jim tried to remain calm, hands pressed to the surface of the desk while he fixed the receptionist with tired eyes and a persistent frown. The woman, middle-aged, with snow-white hair and a flashy red lipstick she re-applied every five minutes, paid his agitated state no mind. It wasn’t until Jim’s persistence was made clear, with his eyes narrowing and his six-foot-tall body unbudging, that she quirked a disinterested eyebrow and smacked her lips together to speak.

“One moment.”

Jim watched her type down something, the clicking sound of the keyboard triggering his headache. He was tired and in dire need of sleep. He was close to calling it a day and giving in to the idea of sharing, until he turned his head to find James striking a conversation with the bathing-suit lady, all smiles and laughter, leaving him to deal with the misunderstanding on his own.

No way in hell.

“Says here it’s a suite for two,” said the receptionist, “Booked for a week by a James.”

“James who?”

“The information is missing. Which one of you is James?”

Jim took in a deep breath, feeling his chest boil with the sudden urge to lash out. He kept it in and exhaled loudly.

“We both are.”

He dragged his weight across the hall with slouched shoulders, a frown between his eyes, to where James was waiting. The bathing-suit lady was long gone leaving what looked like an expensive free drink in James’s hand.

“How was it?” he asked, “Have you found a solution?”

He shrugged.

“Guess we’re sharing.”

“Ah,” he said dully, “Fantastic.”

He sipped his drink with disinterest and Jim, unable to stand his sight any longer, turned around and paced away.

Half an hour later, the sound of the door clicking shut nudged Jim up from his half-sleeping state. He had taken a shower, slipped into a comfortable set of pajamas, and was currently laid down on the couch across from a TV showing a movie he was barely watching.

“Jim, are you asleep?”

He tried to ignore the fact that the unwelcome roommate was supposed to share the suite with him for an entire week, but when the man’s figure was leaning over the couch to peek at him, Jim found himself gritting his teeth against his will.

“What do you want?”

“I was simply wondering,” he said, “I see you’ve made the choice of taking the couch.”

“Didn’t feel like arguing.”

“How gentlemanly of you.”

“Seriously, tone down the sarcasm.” Jim sighed. “Aren’t you like, rich or something? Can’t you afford the five-star hotel next door?”

“Judging appearances,” said James, shaking his head, “I didn’t take you for the type.”

Jim mumbled an answer but James paced away before it could reach his ears. He heard rattling in the cabinet followed by the sound of liquid pouring into a glass. When he propped himself on his elbows, he caught James throwing back a shot of whiskey, then another.

“Planning to get wasted to forget you’re sharing a room with a dude?” he said, “I can relate.”

James turned his head to him with a half-smile.

“Care to join?”

“Hand over the bottle.”

They settled around the dining table, two bottles of whiskey on the wooden surface and a few snacks Jim found while rummaging through the drawers. Tipsy, James lost the tie, his suit’s jacket along with his uptight attitude, and to Jim’s delight, he was becoming a rather agreeable company.

“If I’d known you’d be this chill I would’ve handed you a bourbon shot at first glance.”

“Who, out of their right mind, would’ve said yes to that?” said James, laughing lightly, “I mean, at least make it Scottish whiskey.”

“Bourbon is the real whiskey.”

“You may keep your opinion to yourself. It’s irrelevant.”

“Ah, there he is, the irritating stranger I hate so.”

James flashed a proud grin, then chugged yet another shot.

“So, what do you do?” asked Jim, “Job-wise.”

“Business,” replied James, “Hence the suit.”

“And the attitude.”

James tilted his head.

“And what might you be? Oh, let me guess.”

“Go on.”

“A detective.”

Jim’s eyebrows shot upwards.

“How’d you know?”

“A hunch.”

“A hunch, my ass. You snooped through my things?”

James shrugged, smiling, then stood up and stepped out into the balcony to light up a cigarette. Jim followed him with pursed lips and an upset demeanor.

“We have to set some rules if we’re gonna be staying here together.”

“Rules?” said James, “Enlighten me.”

“No snooping around. You wanna know something? You ask.”

“Mhm.”

James blew a line of smoke in the air. It took Jim a moment to take in the breathtaking view expanding under them. He was too engrossed in his own anger up until this moment, he forgot to take a deep breath and enjoy the beautiful scenery the vacation had to offer. The air was fresh and the taste of sea salt tickled the tip of his tongue. The sky was clear and the moon glimmered in the reflection of the pool. Despite it being so late, the party downstairs was still as lively as ever.

“Wanna go for a dip?”

“Now?”

“Why not? You’re on vacation.”

“You might be, yes,” said James, “If you hadn’t interrupted me earlier you would’ve learned that I’m here on a business trip.”

“Oh,” said Jim, “My bad.”

James discarded the cigarette butt and turned to face Jim with a light frown.

“Hardly an apology, but I’ll take it. Do you happen to have a spare swimsuit?”

“Maybe,” said Jim, “So you’re coming?”

“To watch you drown and have the suite for myself? Wouldn’t miss it. Lead the way.”

Jim punched his shoulder lightly and James returned it with much more force. They downed a few extra shots of whiskey, mixing Scottish and bourbon, then headed downstairs.

When it was James who ended up nearly drowning, Jim could tell his vacation was not half as bad as he thought it would be.