Figs' Magical Melon

There once was a boy who lived in a small town in the middle of nowhere. He had contracted a rare disease and required medicine. He went to the local pharmacy, but all that they had were cough drops. He slowly walked home, whereupon he began to cry because without the medicine he would slowly weaken and eventually die. That night, although emotionally exhausted he cried more and though restless, he eventually fell asleep. 

Later that day he took a nap and dreamed that he was in a forest, and a yellow bear walked up to him and told him that there was a magical melon growing at the top of the hill. The magical melon could cure any disease. There was one special rule though, and it was that this melon could only be harvested exactly at noon, and he must reach the top of the hill before then. He immediately started running towards the top of the hill. A while later he could hear the bear’s distant voice warn, “Beware of my cousin who lives on the hill!”

He continued running up the hill, but after a while he stopped, realizing the bear had severely understated the steepness of the hill. This hill was much more like a mountain peak surrounded by sheer cliffs. He slowly made his way up the side of the mountain, and after many falls he had made it up to the top of the mountain and screamed, “Hooray, I’ve made it,” at the top of his lungs only to realize a moment later, that he had merely reached the top of a bluff next to the mountain. Forging through bushes and streams, he soon made it to a cliff overlooking the valley below. When looking up, he cried, after only walking fifty percent of the way up. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was half-past eleven and came to the conclusion that he would never make it, and emotionally broke down.

Suddenly, the yellow bear, who turned out to be named Figs walked up to him and stated angrily, “Be quiet, you’re ruining my teatime!”

Started, the boy questioned, “Did you follow me up the mountain?”

Figs replied, “Who do you think I am?” Continuing, “I’m certainly not a mountain climber,” adding, “I installed an elevator in the mountain for my comfort.”

The boy amazed, quickly asked, “Can I join you in your elevator?”

Figs responded, “Sure, I would have asked you to ride along, but I thought you were one of those animals who always take the hardest path.”

He led the boy on a hidden path behind a few bushes to a viewpoint of a waterfall where Figs shoved the boy into the waterfall and followed after him. The boy looked around and saw that he was in a shiny elevator with a huge keypad with fifty buttons. Inside the elevator, the boy quickly noticed a little table and chair with a cup of tea on it. Figs quickly pressed a few buttons and the elevator lurched to a start and began to advance upwards through the waterfall.

Figs noticing the boy’s amazing look commented, “It’s a nice elevator, I just imported it from Switzerland” Figs then sat back down to his table and continued drinking his tea while watching Paddington. 

To break the ice the boy remarked, “You look kind of like Paddington.”

Figs responded sadly, “of course, I’m his uncle, but he hasn’t visited us since he’s gotten famous.” In less than a minute, the elevator had traveled the distance that had taken the boy all morning to climb. In an instant, the elevator suddenly opened and revealed the mountain peak where there was a lone melon vine with a single melon attached to it.

The boy quickly ran to the melon and harvested it at exactly noon, but when he headed for the elevator, he noticed that Figs was already gone. Suddenly a screaming yellow bear tumbled through the bushes and ran at him and shouted, “How dare you enter my house!” The bear then proceeded to shove the boy off the mountain top. 

He rolled and tumbled down the mountain through the vines and poison oak, all the while clutching on to a supposedly magical melon. Along the way down the hill he heard, the bear shout, “By the way, I’m not peaches!” When he rolled into a tree and managed to stop at the bottom of the bear where he had started that morning, The Figs said to him, “I see you’ve met my cousin.” The bear quickly took the melon and told him that the melon was payment for the medicine that he would give to the boy. 

The boy questioned, “Isn’t it a magical melon that can only be harvested at noon?”

Figs responded, “No, that was just a really funny joke.”

The boy asked, “Why couldn’t you have gotten the melon yourself.”

Quietly, Figs replied, “Because I’m scared of my cousin, Peaches” Figs then said, “Time to go home now, goodbye my friend.” As he woke up he could hear Figs eating the melon and exclaiming how excellent it was.

The boy then woke up on the floor of his house and immediately got up and remarked, “Well, that was a weird dream.” Then a mailman arrived at his door and left a package outside his front door. When he picked up the package, he noticed that it was completely wrapped in duct tape and covered in more postage stamps than he could count. The package had been mailed to “The not so smart boy,” from, “Mr. Figs” He quickly ripped open the package, and inside the duct tape was even more duct tape, until he reached a small inner core with a bottle and a note saying, “From your friend, Figs, this is the medicine you require, also, your postal system is confusing.” He looked at the bottle and it was exactly the medicine that his doctor had prescribed for him, except the tablets were all shaped like figs. 

Later that day after he had taken the tablets and was ready to sleep, he remarked, “What a day,” and he was sure he could hear Figs echo, "What a day!”