Just Another Dinner

Steve Goode and Kathy Shapiro finally got engaged after several years of dating. As soon as Steve arrived home that weekend, he could not wait to share the news with the entire household. Everyone in the family took the news delightfully, especially knowing that Kathy was the heiress to her father's multi-million dollars shipping company. Although, Steve kept telling them their union was not for money, his folks couldn't help but celebrate such good fortune. Steve then informed them, of his inlaws forthcoming visit on Sunday for a formal dinner, he charged them all to be at their best behavior that day. At this point, two policemen popped out of Toby, Steve's younger brother's room. Alongside Toby himself, who was heard saying "I told you. I'm clean." to the officers. "Pardon me. But what is the meaning of this?" Steve asked the lawmen. "Nothing of consequence." said an officer aloofly as they marched out the house, heading for their squad car. Steve turned his attention to his kid brother who stood by the door, mockingly waving the officers goodbye. "What did those cops want?" He asked in a stern voice. "You know them with their usual Torchlight madness," Toby said, shrugging his shoulders "They thought I had coke.." 

"Well, I don't want any of that nonsenses on Sunday. having Kathy and her folks over for dinner" Steve said with a big smile. "Good show! bro, Good show! You are a lucky bugger!" exclaimed Toby, while giving his brother a hug. 

Sunday finally set in and everybody got busy. They all wanted to project a good impression of their family to the Shapiros. Steve was doing a quick review to see all was in order with Mark, his cousin and the house's cook. "The wine and desserts?" Steve asked, "All set." The cook replied

"I thought, you said we were out of flour for dessert"

"It happened someone kept a spare cache of flour hidden under the sink. I used it"

"Good… Oh! They are here.." Steve exclaimed as he notice his fiancee and her family throng into the house. Her father Dick Shapiro, the shipping magnate was in his usual pomp manner as Steve introduced him to several members of his family. The fold then advanced to the dinning where everyone located their seats to enjoy the banquet Mark prepared. During the meal, nothing eventful happened, everyone simply ate their food while at intervals sharing their ideas about sport, fashion, politics and automobiles. They were all having a good time. Steve really admired Dick, and how he spoke about the places he's been to and what he's seen. His tales captivated everyone in the table. Mark later ushered in desserts, fresh from the oven. The cakes initially tasted weird, but nobody noticed it as they all walloped bite after bite, as if the snack suddenly got additive. Daisy Shapiro, Kathy's mother while munching her share was the first one to manifest strange behavior. She pulled off her beautiful hair which turned out to be a wig and placed it on the table. Her almost bald grey head bewildered everyone, but Dick was the first to speak. "What is the meaning of this stupidity?" He growled. Daisy was unperturbed and minded her business. Steve's grandfather suddenly started laughing uncontrollably, till his fake dentures sprung out his mouth. "What's wrong with him?" Someone in the table muttered, while everyone else laughed at the comic scene. Steve left his chair, and went to where his grandfather was, to help him find his teeth that was probably under the table. Dick still angry at his wife's behavior went to her side to force her to behave well. "I told you. This wig smelled funny, while we were at home, but you still insisted I wear it" Daisy snarled as her husband. "I don't see anything wrong with it. I bought it last week in Milan." Dick insisted throwing the wig at her. "Don't act like that with my sister!" Elroy bellowed, he was Kathy's uncle and Daisy's brother. "This is between me and my wife, it don't concerns you" Dick said authoritatively, in a tone that made Elroy stood up and stomped towards Dick. Kathy was in a foul mood seeing her folks squabbling, she attempted to go and settle them when she noticed her sister was singing with a terrible voice at a very high pitch which was very painful to ears all around. Kathy decided she had better first deal with Amelia, her sister. Steve was finally able to recover the teeth, but he saw several of them were already missing, he managed getting on his feet to hand them to his grandfather, when Mark crashed into him face-to-face. After getting on his feet the second time, "Can't you look where you tread, why are you running?" Steve asked, gravely anguished. "Sorry Bro. Kathy's ugly aunt's been giving me the flirty winks all evening. Now she want to act on it" Mark lamented,

"Whose Your mummy…." Kathy's ugly aunt cried, in an awkward romantic voice, that made Mark fled for his life. Steve was now confused as he walked to his grandfather to return the teeth, when he noticed the old man was acting oddly —He still thought it was D-Day in WWII, and mistook his grandson Steve for a German. "Grandpa! I told you I don't know Hitler!" Steve howled as his grandfather chased him with a cutlery "Wiar! I'll scrush rehbab riu, riu brody ratzi" his grandfather boomed threateningly without his teeths, all the while aiming a fork at his descendant's butt. 

Dick and his brother-in-law were now in a heated battle as they both engaged in food fight, turning several several snacks into missiles and arrows. Dick was using his wife's wig as an armour to fend off Elroy's onslaught. "Hmm, you throw like a pregnant yak!" Elroy jeered, just before a chicken wing hit him in the eye. Swearing vengeance, Elroy grabbed hold of a bowl of soup and heaved it right at Dick. The soup unfortunately not only soaked Dick, but several others, who then teamed with Dick against Elroy. In a short time Elroy was past recognition, he was covered in all sorts of food from head to toe. Kathy who initially tried stopping her sister, soon joined Amelia, by singing in a voice that would make the most hardened criminals confess. Toby who had avoided the cake earlier due to his allergies, was the only one sane. As he walked out the restroom where he had since been. His saw that the once formal dinner had transformed to something else entirely. Where it was normal to throw food and use forks to chase people. "Oh no." thought Toby as he dashed to the kitchen. As he reached the kitchen, he went straight to the sink and searched under it for a flour jar, where he hid the cocaine from the police, when they raided a room. As he opened the jar he drew his breath and was panic stricken. Behold, he found the jar empty.