Damsel in Sweatpants

It figures I wouldn’t be dressed when I met my soulmate.

Oh.

That came out wrong.

I mean I was wearing this old, dirty hoodie and some sweatpants because I was sick the last few days. Snuggled up on the couch watching church because for some reason in a pandemic they don’t like you sharing a common cold around. The house was warm, the fire downstairs going strong, I had a blanket, life was good. I looked away from the live stream for a moment, feasting my eyes on the snow palace world outside. Then there’s this thump from the basement. Crackling, hissing. And a whoosh. It sounded like a fire had broken out of our woodstove and was happily consuming the basement. But I’ve heard these sounds before. Sometimes when the fire breaks down a log it gets noisy. And I didn’t want to be paranoid. So I leaned back on the couch and went back to watching church. And suddenly this man darts into my vision, bounding up my front steps and hammering on the door. I shrank back, staring in confusion at his clear agitation. Why was he yelling? What was he yelling? I was in my ninja outfit, not fit to be seen.

More gleeful crackling below. Groaning, I stood up and reminded myself that I’m a gorgeous specimen even without makeup. Oily hair, neglected skin and all.

“Hello?”

“There’s smoke coming from your basement!”

“What do you mean smoke?”

His eyes widened, and he pointed frantically behind me at the kitchen. I glanced back, and saw the culprit curling smugly up from the basement stairs. My jaw dropped.

“Oh. Um. I should probably get that.” 

I shut the door in his face and dashed to the stairs, which were very smoky indeed. I grabbed the ancient fire extinguisher from the wall and pushed my way down, but the stairs were already very hot because I had stacked our wood beneath them. Thanks to my genius foresight, of course. I don’t know anything about fire extinguishers, but I figured they should be user-friendly so I fumbled with the trigger until suddenly white stuff started spraying in my face. I dropped it, coughing. There was smoke and extinguisher-powder and flames climbing a wall and suddenly someone pushed past me, snatched the extinguisher and pulled

me back up the stairs. Then I heard sirens. “Oh great.” I thought, as he dragged me out the front door. “Now I’m gonna have to pay for an ambulance.”

As soon as we were outside I remembered my plan. You know, the plan you always make when you’re lying awake at night hoping the house doesn’t burn down. I was supposed to grab a robe, or a coat, whichever was closer. Then my violin, Bible and journals. If the fire was a slow one, I’d keep rescuing books until all hope was lost. You know. Assuming my family was safe. I’m not a total jerk.

“My plan!” I shouted, dashing through the snow.

“Where are you going?” startled, he chased after me.

“To rescue my books!” I called back, circling the house until I got to my basement bedroom window. The fire was at the other end of the house, so my room looked unscathed.

“Are you crazy? No! I just got you out of there! That’s like, fire safety 101!”

“It’ll be fine. The fire’s not gonna come this far anyway.” I crouched down by my window, sliding it open and popping the bug screen out.

“Seriously, that’s a terrible idea. Also, why is your house that easy to get into?”

“Not important.” I slipped my legs inside, dropping the three inches to my dresser and thence to the floor. My violin was sitting on my desk in its case, and I grabbed it in a big bear hug. “It’s ok, Chaucer, I came back for you!”

I looked up to see the dude staring at me, wide-eyed. “Don’t judge. And take this!” He held up his hands defensively, then grabbed one end as I shoved my violin out through the window. Outside my bedroom door, the fire was drowned out by the sirens which wailed to a stop out front, and I heard yelling and boots thumping as the fire brigade arrived. While I was distracted, the stranger grabbed my arm and started hauling me out of my room.

“Hey! Let go! I’m not finished yet!”

“No! I’ve got to go tell them there’s no people in the house and I don’t believe in lying so get out here!”

“Fine! But I can crawl out on my own, thankyou.” I twisted my wrist, and he cried out and let go, falling back onto his butt. Then I climbed out, clutching my journals and Bible. “I got everything I needed anyway.”

He collapsed in the snow, groaning. “I think I hit my tailbone. You could have warned me. I was just trying to rescue you, anyway.”

“Well, you already did that once today, and anyway I don’t think you could have actually pulled me out. That’s a pretty awkward angle.”

“I would have found a way.”

“I’m sure.”

Suddenly tired, I sat down in the snow beside him, and got a good look at him for the first time. As water blasted around the opposite side of the house, I noticed he had green eyes, like mine, with a little circle of blue around them. He was lanky, and he had big ears. But you didn’t notice them so much because his dark hair was a little long. I decided that for rescuing me, I had better invite him for dinner, maybe sometime after I wasn’t technically self-isolating. I stood up and suggested,

“Hey so you want to go tell them we’re alive and the house is empty?”

“Yeah sure.”

He stood up and dusted himself off. Then we walked back around the house, just missing the fireman that ran into my bedroom to check for residents. 

Disclaimer: Obviously this story isn't super realistic. I did zero research on fire procedures:) And I think I might have misread the writing prompt so maybe they're supposed to already be partners? Oh well. Hope you enjoyed it.