She Thinks We are The Same

She came to my home with just her clothes and tried to act like my stuff are hers. She even talked like my children are her children. She thought she could take over my life. She did not understand that God only used her to bring me into this earth. I am not hers, I belong to God. At first, she helped me with the mortgage than she said that she was not going to help with the mortgage because I was getting help from the government. I even helped her cousin to move in in the house with her granddaughter and they did not pay rent. I tried my best to keep my house but I lost the house. This was the second home I lost because I wanted to help someone who I taught I could trust. I realized that she only has negative words to wish for me because she does not know any better.

When the company came to move me out of my home, I made sure she was not there because I did not want to deal with her and her emotions.

Most of the time after she hurt me she would often offer me tea or foods like a whole different person, it is weird. What kind of person is she? Does she get possessed by some type of devil spirit? I can not trust her. I can not count on her. I can never think she is a normal mother since she will hurt me if she can if I allow my heart to be open to bond with her.

It is so hard to spend a whole day with her in the same house because her personalities change constantly unless it is a big mansion. I can not understand how come she wants to stay in the dark.

I moved into the carriage house with her and I noticed she put all her grandchildren's pictures away. It did not feel like the home of a grandma. So after she moved her items for her business next door, I found some pictures up to make the carriage feels more like home. She brought me the mail from the main house, as I opened and ripped the envelopes she said: " I thought I heard a mouse." I told her that I was opening and ripping the envelopes. She dais that I answered her too loud and I told her that the tv was on. If she understands what I go through when she is singing loud and sound so depressing. So I was getting on her nerves, then she started to sing really loud again. I know that I have a sensitive hear at times, maybe she is becoming like me. If that is the case, she will eventually love her children and get along with others. She will learn to be more receptive to others and her children will bond with her.

I remembered she told me that my then-husband told her when he becomes a millionaire he will not give me any money. She told me that my ex-husband will take my kids. Today she said "Tony is not coming, guess what Tony informed me that he was going to a concert, therefore, he is not coming to help move the carpet in her studio.

I do not feel the love that a mother has for a child from her. I love her and need her because that the normal way for a daughter toward her mother.

I do not remember when was the last time she hugs me and I do not expect her to do it either. If she hugs maybe one day, I do not think I would feel her love.

I wish she would of say thank you Angie for putting the pictures up. I learned how to keep her away from me, that is I must put something high by the door so she is not able to see me, the first time I did that I felt the peace that I need. I took tall furniture away from the entrance of my bedroom's door and she got mad at me and i allowed her intrusive behavior to get to me. So I remembered what the pastor told me in the park and i put the dresser with two file cabinets and a basket near the entrance of my bedroom's door.

I know the move work because she called my name from the living room three times and I did not answer until she enter my bedroom and I answered yes, she said: " do you want me to keep the heat on?" I answered no. Actually, I asked her what is it? That is when she asked me if I need the heat on.

I woke up at four am from this bad dream and I thank God that this was only a dream or nightmare.