Reflection

The first time I saw him… I thought I was going crazy. Not because he was some dashing man, or because his words made my heart skip a beat… no, it was because he followed me. 

But not in this world, no… he’s stuck wherever my reflection is. Yet when I look at where he should stand he isn’t there, he… doesn't exist.

So I still find myself believing I have gone mad. That I have lost my mind… have I lost my mind. 

“Sanaii.” He called me… his voice always calm, his voice always held some happiness in it, it’s like this was normal for him… but it’s not the case for me. 

It’s like a cold chill over my shoulder as I turn to look at him, “Yeah?”

“Is something wrong?” He asked, his expression frowning as he stared at me. 

I shook my head no, “It’s all fine… just thinking.” Yeah… just thinking about how creepy your sudden existence in my life is. Two months ago you didn’t even exist in my life… the only reason the back of my head always tells me he’s real is when he grabs things, the way he floats beside me, yet my reflection shows him grabbing it instead. 

He moved from my reflection on the mirror to my metallic water bottle beside me, “Is there anything I can do?”

“No.” I say quickly, “just… stay quiet.” I told him. Because even if things float when he grabs them… no one else can see him. Maybe it’s my head playing a horrible trick on me…

He moved back to the mirror and kept quiet like I asked. All while I laid back on my bed, looking at the ceiling as my head kept trying to make sense of this all. I hate going to work because everywhere I look he’s there. 

I have no reason why he even started appearing… I don’t talk to him that much… yet he always seems so happy… maybe I should try asking. 

“Toshi?” I called him, not moving from my spot as I hear him hum, “Why… why are you here?”

He hummed and chuckled, but I didn’t look at him, “Our whole lives we were told there was someone out there for us… someone special only for us… I spent my whole life looking for you.” He said, “I never found you until now…”

Our world is not magic… but I never concerned myself with spending my life alone… all those stories of being told there was someone out there for me did not bother me. Yet right now this man stands near my reflection… telling me we were destined to be, “Then why are you stuck in my mirror?”

“I’ve not stuck in the mirror… just your reflection… there’s nothing I can do about it.” I hear him sigh disdainfully, “I… I didn’t want my life to be for nothing… so when I was given the chance to take care of you, even if I’m… well dead. I took it.”

I could hear his voice drop, and I pushed myself to sit on the bed and look at him… is it because he’s dead? He… he died, “but If you’re dead… how are you here? It makes no sense.”

He chuckled, “I know it doesn’t… It didn’t for me too at one point…” he smiled sadly as he looked at me, “I’ll stay with you until you find your happiness… you won’t need me afterward.”

Happiness huh… it sounds cruel, “What happens to you after I’m happy?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know… but I’m here now… I’m not going anywhere, Sanaii. I’m going to stay for as long as you need me, so come on… get off your butt and go somewhere. You’ve been in the house for days. It’s about time you got some fresh air.”

He's right, I’ve just been contemplating my life choices that led up to this… I need to get back to reality and get my life together, “Aright.” Getting up from the bed I put on some casual clothes to go out. I need to go grocery shopping, after all the bakery won’t run on its own. 

Grabbing my bag with all I would need, I headed out. But my head kept getting distracted, seeing him in every reflective surface I passed. He smiled at me and would look around, saying nothing. 

Was he in my head? Did I just make up his voice?

“YOU NEED TO STOP!” I heard him scream, freezing me in my steps as I realized I nearly walked into traffic. 

I didn’t pay attention, but everyone around me seemed to be off on their own things. No one… no one heard his scream… no one heard him telling me to stop. Surely people would at least look for a moment to where the voice came from?

But as I stand there thinking this I hear him again, “Stop thinking about whatever is going on in your head Sanaii… the road doesn’t stop for anyone… believe me. You need to be careful you could be run over by someone, what if you end up in the hospital… I can’t take care of you.”

I could hear his voice breaking apart, “Just be careful.” I nod and look at his reflection on the post, he frowned, staring at me, “I worry.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper and wait for the chance to cross the road. Digging my hands into my pockets from the cold, “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“It’s ok… I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

I guess he’s right… how can anyone understand this… they’d think I’m crazy? Really? Who in their right mind sees their destined dead lover in their reflection?

People will call me crazy… I already call myself crazy, so would it really be that bad?

Stepping into the small supermarket I’ve been to a hundred times. But when I walked in… it’s all dark. All filled with mirrors big and small… I felt so small near them. 

A voice cleared up behind me, when I turned around a woman walked toward me, she was tall and had unusual bright white hair. Her expression was calm, making me feel smaller than what I already was near her. 

“You must be Sanaii…” she pointed at me then at something besides me, “Then that’s Toshi.” She grabbed a pen and paper out of thin air before writing something down on it, “Things have been backed up recently… but as you’ve guessed one of you is dead, the other is alive. So sorry this happened, destiny tends to like his sour endings.” She walked up to me and grabbed my face, making me look up at her, “Soulmates is what I’m getting at. Cliche yes, but it’s my job after all.”

“Why are we here?” Toshi asked, more confident than me as I kept my mouth shut. 

“Oh you were here not long ago, young man. It’s simple… destiny has proposed a game. Over a hundred soulmates are going to play, and you’ve both been invited. The prize… well… everyone who is invited, one of the two in the pair is dead, so you can guess where this is going. You win, you live, you lose… we'll find another happiness.” She leaned down to look at us both, “Are you in?”