Just one suitcase

The lid of the box was hard to keep shut, it wouldn’t stop shaking and rattling, I was used to this but it never got any easier. I was just better at keeping hold of it now. The force inside was fighting with every ounce of strength it could muster. The box was only just bigger than the palm of my hand and yet it felt as though it held the weight of the universe. I pinned it down onto the table with my full weight. Claire was able to tie the red ribbon around it. She started to hum, jingle bells, the box slowed the sound draining its energy.

“Another layer” I directed.

She started to say something and though better of it. She grabbed another length of ribbon, continued to hum and tied the bow perfectly. The only time she struggled was when we needed to lift the box to place the ribbon underneath. It took a lot of energy and concentration but the most difficult part was finally done. It hadn’t been the hardest one to trap but they were always draining.

A time would come soon when we wouldn’t be as strong, we wouldn’t be able to do our job, and our age would also render us useless. But for now this was our only objective.

Claire’s humming changed to we wish you a merry Christmas, I could tell that she felt nostalgic, she always did this time of year, remembering Christmas’s long past. I tried ignore it and never discussed it with her. I knew she was remembering our first Christmas as a family of three, then four, then five then just two, again.

Our life was no longer for celebrations. Our life was a job.

“In two” I said.

Then counted, on two we both grabbed a side of the box and placed it into the cabinet. The cabinet was etched in Latin words I never bothered to learn. I just needed them to work.

The cabinet had to be closed exactly right with each of the two doors closed at the same time equal distances a part.

I looked at it every way I could before I finally locked the door with the brass key.

I knew the time I took to do this frustrated Claire, the time I took to make it “perfect”. But she knew my perfectionism was what made us successful.

We placed the cabinet in the trunk of our car and drove as far away from the town as we could. There was a forest twenty miles away, we drove into its depths. We spent the rest of the night digging a hole. At times I became conscious of the lack of noise around us, even the trees remained motionless, resigning themselves to the burden they would have to bare for years to come with what was to be placed into this hole. In time the trees around the hole would recede, the grass would die and animals would avoid this area. People would accidentally stumble across this area. They would comment about the “weird vibes” and “spooky feelings” the area gave them. Hopefully that would be enough to move them along without them taking time to investigate.

The sun started to rise. I climbed down into the hole and brought the cabinet and bucket of cement with me.

I placed the cabinet down and poured the cement on top. I said a prayer that this would hold for hundreds if not thousands of years to come. I quickly pulled myself out of the hole. We filled it and moved two heavy looking rocks on top. As I placed the rocks on top I silently explained to them the important job they now had, the most important two rocks ever had.

There was of course no response but I felt that they understood their assignment. The natural world has always comprehended more about the universe than the superficial human world ever has.

“Let’s go” I said to Claire in a monotonous voice and turned towards the car.

“It’s Christmas day” she whispered ever so meekly her voice cracking. As she trailed after me.

I was almost surprised by the slight emotion in her voice.

I didn’t turn to look at her, I couldn’t. It unsettled me. I was not ready for any type of change to our relationship. I had disconnected myself from her and everyone else that had once been in our life.

We made our way back to the generic road side motel we were staying in. We slept for several hours before waking to shower, change, eat and pack up.

As I was coming out of the shower I looked up to see Claire standing and staring out the window. She had the curtains pulled apart. I could just make out the sound of excited children’s voices. Her shoulders were heaving. I wanted to go to her. But my feet were stuck, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t love anymore, I couldn’t comfort and I couldn’t have emotions. My only thoughts were on the next job. I ignored her and carried on getting dressed.

I went to say something but the words caught in my throat as I looked towards her. The sunlight shinning though the window shone on her wavy hair falling down her back. It was the way it had on our wedding day, twenty years and no upkeep had changed its colour but the thickness and beauty had never faded. Before I could stop myself I was making my way to her. I placed my arms around her, she initially flinched in surprise but then leaned back into my chest. Slowly her heaving stopped and she sucked in a long deep breath. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply through my nose. I felt a warmth I hadn’t for years, it was not a comforting feeling, and it terrified me. I couldn’t want this feeling again, our job was too important.

I let her go quietly apologising for my misdemeanour.

I grabbed our suitcase, which now contained our entire life and carried it to the car.

We were headed south this time, into Mexico, to where this all started. Where my entire life that had at one time felt so big was shrank into just one suitcase.