Good Things Can't Last Forever

May 6th

"There are two doors in life, two ways you can go," My mother's voice echoed in my head. "There is the brave way, or there is the way of hiding from all your problems, being a coward."

My mother's favourite words.

So I sit here now, thinking about what she meant.

Or why she told me those words.

Or how she learned them.

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May 7th

I often think about the day of the fire.

And what I'd said to her that morning before school.

"Mom," I'd said. "You need to get me a phone!"

"Absolutely not, Aria!

"Why not?"

"You do not get to just demand things!"

"Come on, mom." I'd replied. "All my friends have phones! I can't be the only one without one!"

"You're eleven years old, Aria!" You do not need a phone!"

"You're so mean. Adrianna's mom got her a phone 2 years ago! Right when Adrianna asked."

"Well I'm not Adrianna's mom."

"I hate you!" I'd screamed at her. "You don't ever do anything nice for me! I wish you weren't my mom!"

Then I went to school.

That was the last time I got to see her before she died. And I had fought with her.

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May 8th

I miss my mother's cooking.

And her hugs.

And how she listened to everything I had to say.

I remember how spicy and delicious her food was.

And how warm and comfortable her hugs were.

And how long she'd sit there and thoughtfully listen to everything I had to say.

I miss my mother.

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May 9th

Sometimes I wish that I'd been with her that day when the fire happened.

Maybe I could have saved her.

Or warned her.

Or even died with her.

So I wouldn't feel so alone right now.

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May 10th

Whenever I miss her, I think about her last words.

"There are two doors in life, two ways you can go, there is the brave way, or there is the way of hiding from all your problems, being a coward."

I do not want my way to be a coward, but being brave seems too hard right now.

I think about what way I will go, which door I will choose.

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May 11th

Today I woke up and went to give my mom a hug, only to remember what happened.

Tears flowed down my cheeks in rivers as I cried into my father's chest.

I think about her every day.

I would give anything to see my mother again, even for a short time.

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May 12th

I think about my mother's words every day, but I think I finally understood the true meaning of them this evening.

I know which path I will choose now. The loss of my mother left a deep gash in my skin, but it will heal eventually. I must be brave, and stop hiding from the world.

Because I won't let my mother's death take everything away from me.

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June 12th

I am doing better now, I have chosen the way to be brave. I can now talk to people without bursting into tears. I can do stuff with my father and sister. I still think about my mother every day, and how amazing she was. But as my father keeps telling me, "Good things can't last forever" So I guess that my mother can't last forever either.

I understand death now too. In some people's opinions, death is someone's way of moving on, of going to a better place to be.

And one day I will see my mother in heaven. I just wish that time will go by sooner.