As Dark As Cinder

“Okay, Ella. It’s your turn”, Anastasia said, “you can’t pick truth because Drizella and I already did”

It had been the same pattern for hours- two truths and one dare. Unsurprisingly, the dare always fell on me and the particles of flour in my hair were evidence of the last one.

“Truth or dare, Ella?”, Drizella asked, a sly smile on her face.

“Dare”, I answered.

“Okay, I dare you to walk across the ledge on the roof. If you make it to the other house, we’ll let you pick truth next time. Anna can pick dare”

“But I don't want to pick dare!”, Anastasia complained.

“I don’t care!”, Drizella frowned at her sister, “besides, she’s never going to make it across”, she whispered as though she didn’t want me to hear.

I stood quietly and headed from the stairway that led to the roof. Behind me, my stepsisters, Anastasia and Drizella scurried, their little feet hitting the wooden floor. Anastasia was much younger than Drizella and i, so she did everything she was asked.

The only difference between us was that she had a choice.

The ledge was wooden and narrow. It was built after my mother’s death and so it was not as sturdy as it used to be. I took one step on it and it creaked. Looking back, I saw Anastasia and Drizella, their eyes gleaming with wickedness.

I took my first two steps on the ledge, trying not to look down at the ground, for fear of temptation to jump. Thoughts like these had always made me feel like I was the dark child Lady Tremaine said I was and as I walked further, I smiled at how right she was.

The ledge creaked and shook under my feet and so I spread my arms apart to balance myself, but alas! It was not enough and before I could turn around to see why Anastasia gasped so loudly, I found myself falling down to the earth while broken bits of wood followed.

Lady Tremaine said I was a dangerous child, and that I was trying to paint her out to be an evil stepmother. Perhaps she was or perhaps she was only a mother who would pick their children over any other. To her, I was the daughter of the woman my father loved before her and maybe she too, had seen him staring at the picture of my mother on the bookshelf and realized she would never really win his love.

That night as I treated my wounds by the fireplace, I imagined what death by the beautiful fire would be like. I reached for it and let my fingers dance above, feeling the heat. It must be painful to be burned alive.

I slept by the fireplace and by the next morning, my skin was dark and covered in ashes. Drizella was the first to find me and her call to Anasatasia woke me up.

“Oh Ella, you are as dark as a cinder!”, Anastasia exclaimed.

“Cinder-ella”, Drizella snickered.

I felt nothing at my father's funeral. I resented him for marrying Lady Tremaine and thinking she could ever replace my mother and I resented him for dying and leaving me behind when I was the one who wanted to die the most.

Cinderella.

Drizella and Anastasia called me that to make fun of me. They were like birds on my shoulders that wouldn’t stop chirping and go away. I heard their voices in my sleep and when I was awake.

Cinderella. 

It was neither the name my mother gave me nor the name I was given by my father, but when Lady Tremaine started to call me that too, I realized I was no longer just Ella.

The kingdom was peaceful, ruled by a king and a queen. There were hardly any rumors so when the news of the royal ball started to spread, everyone knew it was true.

The king and queen had one son by the name of Charming. I had seen him once when he visited the town with his parents while I was on an errand for Lady Tremaine. He had slick black hair and wore a constant frown on his face. He was a weird boy.

The royal ball was to take place in the royal palace and all the young women in the town were invited. Prince Charming was looking for a wife and the ball was an idea created by his father, the king.

I found the invitation first and saw my chance to leave the life I had led until that point. If I could win over the Prince then I would become a princess and never see Drizella and Anastasia’s wicked faces again. My father had always said I was a pretty girl, even though I knew he must have been biased. I was nowhere as pretty as Drizella or Anastasia.

Lady Tremaine caught me reading the invitation and laughed scornfully in my face when I asked if I could go.

“You? Little Cinderella? A princess? Don’t make me laugh”, she spat, “you wouldn’t pass off as a Princess even if you tried!”

Her arms went around the shoulders of her daughters. “These are princesses. Look at how their skins glow and how their hairs shine”

“You look more like a maid Cinderella”, Anastasia crossed her arms.

“And maids don’t attend royal balls”, Drizella stuck her tongue out at me.

For days after, I watched Lady Tremaine spend the money left by my father on dresses, shoes and ornaments fit for queens. My step sisters looked amazing and on the evening of the ball, I watched from my window as they sped out in a carriage.

The picture of my mother lay in the few clothes I had left. Lady Tremaine had broken it’s glass frame when she tossed it out after my father’s death. I rubbed my thumb over her face. People always said I looked more like her. I didn't see it.

I slept off next to the picture and was awoken by the sound of knocking at the door.

“Godmother”, i said when i opened the door

She raised one brow when she saw me.

“Ella darling, why are you here? Shouldn’t you be at the ball like the rest of these younglings?”, she asked.

“Lady Tremaine said I'm not allowed to go because I could never be a princess”, I answered soberly.

“That damn witch”, she sneered as she pushed past me and walked into the house, “she left you all alone?”

“Yes”, i answered, “why are you here Godmother?”

“Oh, i was going to steal a little something i gave your mother years ago”, she shrugged casually.

“Lady Tremaine threw all of my mother’s belongings out after my father died”, i said, “he held on to them for so long that they irritated her. I only have a picture left”

“Of course she did”, Godmother’s jaw clenched, “the damn witch”

I chuckled, “Godmother, you are the witch here”

“Don’t tell me you’re ashamed of me now like your father was, Ella”, she smirked, “so what if i’m a witch?”

“People don’t like witches”

“Well, people don’t like what they don’t know”

I blinked at her, “you’re right, because i know you and i like you Godmother”

She smiled at me and moved to sit on one of the chairs before patting the space next to her. I motioned to sit as well. She played with my hair slowly.

“What do you want to do, my dear Ella?”, she asked, “do you want to come live with me? Your father never let you come see me but he’s not here now. You don’t have to stay with the evil witch”

I frowned, “I don't want to stay in this town anymore Godmother. I want to go to the ball”, i stood and faced her, “and when i go to the ball, i want to win over the Prince and become a princess so i can punish Lady Tremaine, Anastasia and stupid Drizella”

Godmother laughed loudly, slapping her lap as she did. “Oh my darling Ella”, she said, “that fire in your eyes, that darkness-”, she trailed, “-you remind me of your mother”

I smiled, “really?”

“Yes”, she nodded, “you’re just as beautiful as she was too”

Godmother stood. She was a tall woman and when she knelt, she was just below my neck. Her eyes were green and sometimes, it looked as though little golden wisps danced in them. Her hair was darker than Drizella’s with streaks of grey in them.

She smiled a crooked smile, “when you want to win over a man, looks and niceness are never enough. You have to be smart Ella and ready to fulfil all his needs”

I tilted my head, “what do you mean?”

She stood and walked towards the stairway. When Godmother walked, it looked as if she was dancing. 

“At night when the curtains are drawn and the kingdom is asleep, everyone has worldly desires that they dream of”, she said, “and the prince is no different”

I followed her to the room.

Godmother was the best witch in the kingdom and she was living proof that people were hypocrites- for they sought after her powers for help in secret and spat in disgust when they saw her on the street. She didn’t mind it, as long as they paid her.

She had mastered the art of dark magic, for what other type of sorcery could mutate mice into horses, make a pumpkin into a chariot, turn a dog into a coachman and create a dazzling dress out of thin hair. As she tightened a white corset at my back, she told me the story of a rich boy with questionable desires who would send the maids out of his room for wearing shoes and allowed them in when they wore slippers or were barefoot. Once, he asked a young girl whom he had befriended to be his model for a painting and his mother caught him painting images of her feet only and not of her body or pretty face.

Godmother said the boy was mad with desire and at night would touch himself to the images he had painted. His parents worried about what the people would think and so, they called on her to heal him- but when Godmother walked into his room and met him, she saw nothing but a young boy with fantasies.

When she looked at me, she said she saw a young girl mad enough to fulfil such fantasies.

As I walked into the palace, my eyes moved to a large clock on the wall. At midnight, Godmother’s spell would vanish. It was not as much time as I would have liked, but I was grateful nonetheless. If I ever told my story to another, I would tell them that Godmother had granted one of my biggest wishes and so she was not a witch, for witches were often associated with evil. She was a fairy. My fairy godmother.

At the ball, Charming’s eyes rolled over the faces of the many women from the town. With a glass of wine in his hand and slick hair combed back, I thought he was handsome. At least if we were to marry, he would be a handsome husband.

As my godmother said it would happen, his eyes softened when they found the glass shoes on my feet and then they went to my face. He asked if I would dance with him, and I gladly said yes. Lady Tremaine and her daughters eyed me from the crowd, anger and disgust in their faces. They had not recognized me. They had seen me as nothing more than a maid for them, but that night, Charming looked at me like I was a Princess.

We danced and laughed. At times, I would catch him ogling at my feet through the glass shoes. I did not mind as long as he made me his wife. Perhaps, godmother was right when she said I was a mad child.

When the clock struck midnight and the towel bell chimed, I realized I had forgotten about the deadline. I told Charming goodbye in a hurry and headed straight for the chariot, ignoring his calls and questions about my name and where I was from. 

I did not make it home as a princess. Everything disappeared except for one leg of the glass shoes. I wondered if I had left the second while I was running. It did not matter. My night as a princess had come to an end.

I wondered who Charming would pick to be his wife since he didn’t know who I was and for the next few days, I listened to Drizella and Anastasia complain about how he did not give attention to any of the women as soon as the mystery girl in blue appeared. Lady Tremaine thought loudly who the girl was, for she had never seen her and knew nothing about the family she came from.

I did my chores and kept my secret. During the day, I cleaned the house and scrubbed the floors. At night, I climbed up to the roof and imagined what it would be like to fall. I contemplated sneaking into godmother’s house and stealing one of her poisons. Lady Tremaine had wished I would join my father and mother in their graves once. She did not know that at night, while I stared at the only leg of the glass shoes I had with me, I too prayed for that.

“We do not have any more young ladies in this house”, I heard Lady Tremaine say one day. I walked down from the room i had been cleaning and watched from the stairway, “all we have is a maid and she did not attend the ball”

The men in the room looked like the guards from the palace, then there was a shorter man with a scroll tucked under his armpit. An attendant for the royal family perhaps. 

He frowned at Lady Tremaine, “we have been asked to try the shoe on every lady in the kingdom”

The shoe. The glass shoe.

“Then perhaps Anastasia can try again. It almost fit the last time”, Lady Tremaine grinned, “wait right here”

She pushed her daughters towards the stairway and up to the rooms. I followed quietly. 

“It has to fit”, Drizella whined, “mother…”

“Shut up!”, Lady Tremaine yelled at her.

I glanced at the shears sitting next to a dresser and grabbed it. “I have an idea”, i said and when they turned to me, i added with a smile, “if you would listen”

My mother once told me to forgive and forget but i thought that was a stupid ideology. Some things cannot be forgiven or forgotten so easily. Only revenge could quench the anger in my soul. As I cut parts of my stepsister’s feet while their muffled cries filled the room, there was no anger- only pleasure.

“It did not fit the first five times. We will not try again”, the attendant argued when they got back down. Lady Tremaine  begged in desperation. Of course it did not fit. The shoes were magic and I knew that. Drizella and Anastasia sat on the floor, crying and unable to stand on their bandaged legs.

“Where is the maid?”, a new voice asked. He had been standing in front of the door and so i did not see him but i gasped as soon as he walked into my view, “i want to be sure of everyone”, Charming said sternly.

“My Prince, it is only a waste of your time. The girl is a mad child, quite ordinary too”, As Lady Tremaine spoke, Charming took the glass shoe from the attendant, “then bring the ordinary girl”, he waved his hand mindlessly- and then he turned around.

Nobody else saw him, but I did. He brought the shoe to his nose and inhaled the insides deeply. I imagined it wasn’t his first time. He was looking for me.

“I’m here”, I walked down the stairway. They watched as I heard towards him. Drizella and Anastasia were still crying. Charming stared at my bare foot and then at my face. He did not recognize me. I wasn’t surprised.

The short attendant took the shoe from the Prince and placed it on the floor so I may wear it. My foot slipped in quickly. It was a perfect fit, but it felt uncomfortable to stand on one glass heel and so I took the second out from my apron and slipped it on.

“It’s you”, Charming said, a grin on his face. As he took my hand in his, his grin grew wider, like that of a child. Under his gaze, I was a princess again.

“Impossible”, i heard Lady Tremaine say, “Cinderella, you evil girl!”, she sneered.

I never heard from Lady Tremaine again, though when godmother visits the palace and I tell her of the nights when the prince kisses my feet and sucks on my toes, she tells me that my stepmother is now forced to do all her work and Anastasia and Drizella can no longer walk.

Did we live happily ever after as the story I told says? Even I can't answer that question but at least Cinderella is now a Princess, even though her heart is still as dark as cinder.