Judgement Day

Christina 

“Mommy, how many stars are in the sky?” my daughter, Anna, asked whilst looking up at the night sky in our backyard. Every night, she would ask to go outside and study the stars, hoping to find any constellations she could. Astronomy became her best friend after me and my husband took her to the science museum for her birthday. I can still remember the way her eyes lit up like firecrackers when I handed her that astrology book. Oh, to be a kid again. “I don’t know, Annie. Could be billions.” I called back from the porch. Anna glanced towards the ground, then at me curiously. She started moving in my direction, implying that she was done with her findings. “So, see anything special?” I asked, interested. “I saw Ursa Minor, hopefully I can find one of the dippers or even Cancer!” she exclaimed. “Well, maybe you can try again tomorrow. It’s time for bed now.” With those words, I took her hand in mine and led her to her room.  

After getting her dressed and ready for bed, I waited by her door as she climbed in bed. She looked at me with a thoughtful expression. “Do you know when Dad will get back home?” Those words struck a nerve within me. I stood quietly, not looking at her for a few moments. Jonah left for the war two years ago. Naturally, I did not want him to leave but I also knew that it was not my decision to make. Neither was it his. I looked at Anna again, and she was still looking at me with that same expression. “I can’t say that for sure, sweetie” I replied, sadly. She turned on her back and stared at the ceiling. “Do you think he looks at the sky and thinks about us the same way I think about him?” her voice held so much hope and promise. I smiled warmly, on the brink of tears. “Of course. There’s no doubt about it” I reassured her. Anna turned her head toward me; I could tell she noticed I was upset but she did not comment on it. I knew how much she missed him, and it wounded me deeply. I tried my hardest to stay strong for her. Anna smiled, “Goodnight mommy” she turned away from me and fell asleep. I waited a couple of moments before saying “Goodnight Annie” and turned off the light. 

I went to the living room and sat on the couch. It was only 8pm so I decided to let my mind wander as I watched a documentary that had been playing in the background. I could not get my mind off Jonah. Since he has been gone, I have only received one letter from him. The government has become stricter with soldiers sending and receiving mail. Last time I went to the post office to deliver him a care package, I had to pay close to fifty dollars in shipping fees. Not being able to contact him for two years did way more harm to my mental health than I could have imagined. Anna has been managing simply fine. She is lucky to have friends who she can depend on for emotional support. Their moms have been supportive and caring enough to check on me and each other. However, it is still hard for me to get out of bed or even go to sleep. Just knowing that I could be the one to get that phone call or that knock on the door that confirms he will not be coming home. I just would not be able to cope. I looked over to my bookcase, where I kept the letter and went to grab it. Tears filled my eyes and trailed down my face like dew from a sink. “Hey Jonah, I miss you.”  

Jonah 

Seeing my daughter’s tear-stained face as I drove away from my house broke me more than any amount of military training could have ever done. Today was the day that I got deployed. If I am being honest, I dreamed every night of this day coming. Getting that cursed letter in the mail and reading those destined words, I knew that my life would never be the same again. When I told my wife, I instantly felt like the biggest piece of shit ever. She did not even say anything, just stared at me. Then, she quickly wrapped me in an embrace and broke down. The following week, I was packing up my stuff and getting ready to leave the life I once knew and enter a completely different universe.  

That day, I was walking around my house for the last time when I saw Anna and Christina hanging out in the backyard. From my view, it looked like they were laughing but as I got closer, I saw the hurt expression in their faces. My heart shattered in multiple pieces and it took a lot out of me to not crumble to the ground. They finally noticed me and together they came inside. Anna stopped in front of me, still crying. She would not even look me in the face. I kneeled to her level so that I could talk to her directly. The general would be arriving any moment and I had to say my final goodbyes while I could. “Hey, Anna-Banana. I-” she interrupted me, “I do not want you to leave. You cannot. Right?” I saw nothing but pain and sorrow in her eyes. “I know, but I have no choice, honey-pie". She hugged me tightly and I returned the hug. I would not let go of her and she would not let go of me. My wife just looked at us and quietly sobbed. I reached out to her and pulled her towards us, joining her in our final hug. 

It was not long until that doomed knock on the door came. I was ready and without hesitation, opened the door. “Good morning Mr. Ryan. Are you well prepared to go?” the general had asked. “Yes sir, sergeant.” Him and his deputy escorted me out of the door and towards the army bus that held the other soldiers. From the moment I walked out the door to sitting down in my seat, I refused to face my wife and daughter. Facing them would have shown defeat, broken me, and proved that I was not as strong as I appeared. I knew that in those moments that Mr. Ryan: father, husband, friend, and businessperson no longer existed. I was being reborn as Private Ryan. 

Anna 

It is not easy being the daughter of a war veteran. Not knowing when your Daddy would be coming home is a terrifying feeling. Even though it is nice to have my friends around and being able to share my sadness with them, it still feels so lonely. Mommy does her best to stay happy for me, but I know that she is hurting too. Recently, she has been sleeping in a lot and not finishing her food. When Daddy was still home, she would always get up for seconds, even thirds. Now, she sometimes will not look at her plate or wait until I finished eating and out of the kitchen to throw away her food. I also see the way she looks at me. She does not realize that I notice her, but I do.  

I remember the day Mommy and Daddy took me to the science fair for my birthday. Seeing the bright, colorful displays of all the planets and stars made me so happy. Getting that astrology book made me happier. I decided that day that I wanted to be an astronaut. Every day, I would ask Mommy to use her computer so that I could look at the constellations and stars. Every night, I tried to find them and see if I could discover anything new. Once Daddy left, I went to the night sky for answers. Mommy does not know this but whenever I looked to the stars, I would talk to Daddy in my head hoping that he would answer. I knew he could not in real life, but the idea that he did comforted me. I would ask him things such as: how his day was, if he missed us, if he is staying safe, and other small things. Not a day went by that I would not think about him.  

I found the letter that Daddy had sent to Mommy and read it one night when Mommy was asleep. I would read it repeatedly from time to time, making sure Mommy did not see me or get suspicious. I never brought it up so that I would not make her sadder. She never mentioned it to me either, to protect my feelings. At least, that is what I think.  

“Anna. Christina. Wait for me. I’ll be home soon” I put the picture of my wife and daughter back in my shirt pocket. Every day since I have arrived at the base, I have been counting down the days until I could return home. The other soldiers noticed my yearning to leave and would continue to tell me not to get my hopes up. “From the looks of it friend, we gone be here for a long time. You better get comfortable” an older guy had said to me. He then turned towards his friends and snickered, finding the humor in my pity. I ignored them though. I made a promise to myself that I would live to see my family again, no matter what.  

Judgement day came sooner than I thought. The thing no one tells you when you are in battle mode is that having to see your comrades drop like fruit flies is a memory that sticks with you forever. You never realize how real death is until you see someone die in front of your eyes. The gunshots, screaming, and explosions all start to turn into white noise, and you will have moments where all you can do is zone out. During those first few days of battle, I did not feel human. We lost 20 people and our squad was thinning out quickly. One guy blew his brains out after the second night because he could not handle the stress. I honestly did not blame him. To be frank, I started mentally preparing for my day to come. Those sleepless nights consisted of dread, uncertainty, and fear.  

No one was aware of the grenade lying next to us while we slept. By we, I am referring to me and two other soldiers. Seargeant did his damnedest to get as many people away, but it was not enough. One guy’s back was blown out and all that was left was the ungodly sight of his splintered spine and burnt flesh. The other, lost both of his legs completely. I was dealt the unlucky hand of having a huge hole in my chest. I could feel the chill of the wind against my heart as it was bleeding profusely. Blood overflowed my throat and mouth, making it hard to breathe. Every inhale I took made it more difficult and the corners of my eyes began to blacken. The only direction I could look was up since the explosion caused my body to roll on my back. For those last few moments, nothing felt real. The sound of explosions going on around me, Seargeant yelling his war cry as he tried to defend us whilst being shot down, soldiers dying all around me, and even the faint sound of the enemy squad cheering for victory all felt like a fever dream. As if everything were happening in slow motion. If heaven was real and God was true, I wondered how many stars inhabited all the souls that were lost due to violence. Staring at the night sky, I wondered, does my daughter look at the stars and think about me the same way I think about her and Christina?