White desert

We had been driving for hours. The blue skies clashed with the the white, flat landscape. The further we drove, the emptier it seemed.

- Well, this isn't good, - I said, looking at the sun setting for the final time in many, many days. The wind was getting colder, signaling that the Polar night was about to set in. 

I glanced sideways to my companion, who had the same look of quiet desperation and helplessness that I had. There was no way we could get through the night without shelter. While during the day it was quite warm, at nighttime the temperature could drop severely, now even to -50* Celsius. 

I had always been convinced that knowledge was the driving force of humanity. I was brought up in a household that believed this almost in a religious way. Even as a little kid, I was expected to participate in the daily 'conference' and give my opinion on the matter at hand. Knowledge, in any form available, was something I'd been brought up to hold as sacred.

Two days ago I had had an epiphany on a project I'd been working on for years, and, to an extent, ever since I was little. I imagined that this would be one of the big, defining moments of my life. I wanted to test my theory as soon as possible, so I went to Luke, my colleague, to persuade him to come on a field trip with me. It was a job for two - to conduct the experiment. 

Luke had cautioned me against this, because there is a strict protocol that needs to be followed, but he knew that, being as I am, it would be nearly impossible to talk me out of this, so he agreed to come.

There had been a significant problem with my calculations, which I would have noticed, if I hadn't been blinded by emotion. I wanted so much for it to be true, that I didn't see, what was right in front of me. From there on out, everything fell apart - we lost most of our equipment and our coordinates.

We'd already been out here for more than a day, and our food reserves were nearly exhausted. If it weren't for the extra chocolate bars that Luke had brought with him, we'd probably be a lot more miserable. 

- We need to get going, - I said, and both of us got back to the snowmobile after a brief stop to assess the area with hopes of finding some landmark that would help us to get back.

We hadn't really spoken for hours now. We were extremely tired, it was cold and windy. As it was getting darker, streaks of green flares appeared in the skies near the horizon. They moved slowly, creating thick waves of light that danced in the sky. The effect of the northern lights was much stronger than that of a moon in a clear night; the snow looked illuminated and saturated with vivid notes of green.

- It never fails to impress, - I said, looking at the northern lights.

I heard Luke grumbling in front of me. It was plain that he was angry with me. He had every right to be mad. The guilt and disappointment I felt was maddening. Not only had I rushed into this without double-checking the results of my theory, but I had also brought along one of my closest friends.

I watched the beams of light playing in the dark and thought about the many times I'd discussed 'Aurora Borealis' with my dad. He was insanely curious about the complexities of the Earth's magnetic field. To be honest, he was passionate about many things, and he passed on this love and appreciation to me. This would be a rather poetic finale - dying because of curiosity, - I pondered, looking at the white desert all around us.

- Hey... do you see it? - Luke shouted and pointed at something far ahead in the dark.

I squinted my eyes. There was truly something there! Luke made a slight turn with the snowmobile and half an hour later we arrived at an old cabin. 

The house was covered in snow and it looked abandoned, but the structure appeared sturdy enough to endure the night. Without giving much thought, both of us grabbed our stuff and ran to the small cabin. We closed the door immediately after entering the cabin. The temperature was dropping, and none of us were willing to spend the night driving without any clue as to where we were going. 

Luke got two flashlights out of his backpack, and handed one to me. The ceiling of the cabin was maybe a couple of cm higher than the top of Luke's head. It was probably made this way to preserve the buildings integrity in the harsh conditions so commonly experienced in Antarctica. 

- Do you see any communication devices? - Luke inquired, taking a few steps further in the room. 

- No, - I said, landing my eyes on an oven at the other end of the cabin, - First things first. Let's get some light. Do you have any matches?

Luke reached in his pockets and took out a lighter. 

- Yeah, but we also need something to burn, - he answered, flashing the light to the area next to the oven. 

-Looks like we are in luck, for a change, - Luke said, pointing to a small woodpile. 

Not far from the oven I noticed a stack of books lying on the ground. I bent down to take one from the top. It was an old book on physics. Most of them were classics, but some were a real find: first editions, rare publications, some with the authors' commentary. I flipped through a couple of the books and saw incredible annotations along with intricate illustrations, showing elaborate schematics on the topic at hand. I couldn't believe that someone would just leave them here! I was also bothered by the state of the books - the binding was flabby and there were coffee stains on some of the books. As I oppressed the need to put them back in the bookshelves, I noticed an extremely rare second edition in English of Euclid's Geometry, year 1651. This was something I couldn't possibly leave behind, so I put the book in my backpack.

I gave a look around the cabin. Scientists probably spent the night in this cabin, whenever they went on expeditions, but it clearly hadn't been used for a long time. Judging by the state of it, the last visit must have been thirty to fifty years ago - the books, the equipment - everything looked outdated. 

Once the fire was burning, we were able to get a better look at our sanctuary. There was a thin layer of frost all over the furniture and even on the walls of the room. We rummaged around the place, trying to find something useful. 

- Yes!- Luke exclaimed, holding in his hands canned food. He then got up and went to the exit, saying, - I'll get water.

The cans were so old that the lettering on some of them was completely gone, on others - barely visible. It didn't matter much to us. We were starving. I opened up one of the cans and tried to pour out the contents. Instead, a cylinder shaped block of frozen meat fell in the bowl. 

The wind outside was getting louder. I could see out the small window that it was completely dark. I sighed, thinking that this might be our last night ever. We both sat down on the floor right in front of the fire. This was the only place where it felt somewhat warm. I picked up a book, forcing myself to read it, but it didn't feel right. My nose stuck in a book was no way to get us out of this mess.

- I'm really sorry I made you come, - I said, and noticed that Luke stiffened.

- It doesn't matter anymore, - he said, as he started to stir the melting snow in the kettle.

- Yeah, but if I'd followed the procedure, we'd,.. - 

- Makes no difference! - Luke interrupted me, slightly annoyed. 

I listened to the howling wind outside and watched the small flickers of green threads outside the window. How strange it was to experience the same thing that once made me feel so secure and sure of myself, and now feel exactly the opposite. The only thing that was standing between us and the clear and cold skies was this small, old cabin.

- You know, one of the safest I ever felt was when I was little, maybe around ten years old, and I'd spend evenings reading or talking with my dad about geography, biology, astronomy... It was like a ritual, - I said.

- He got you into this? - Luke asked, adding a pack of food ration we found to the water in the kettle.

- Yeah, it was so exciting that I wanted to be a part of it, - I said.

- I get that, - he said, - To me, it was the first time I saw the northern lights. The funny part is, it was by accident. 

- How's that? - I asked.

- Our family was taking a vacation, and we had a connecting flight, which was delayed, so we had to wait in the airport all through the night. 

- That is some luck, - I agreed.

The fire crackled in the oven.

- Once I saw it, I could not take my eyes off of it, - Luke said, then he looked out the window at the green waves in the sky, - I wish I felt the same way now.

He got up and made his way to the window, standing with his back to me. I turned to the fire and poured out the hot water into a cup. Then I added the icy block of meat to the food in the kettle. It was probably going to taste horrible, but my stomach quenched as I stirred both of the ingredients in a mush. To my surprise, a mouthwatering aroma was slowly spreading in the room. 

- You know, it is quite unlucky that we can see it, - Luke said, out of the blue, as I was dividing some of the bigger pieces of meat into smaller bits.

- The lights? - I asked, assessing the food.

- Clear weather usually equals lower temperatures, - he said.

I kept quiet. He was right. The room had not warmed up one bit. The only thing we'd succeeded at was to keep the temperature from dropping, and what a job it was! Nearly all of the firewood was gone. I picked up the biology book I'd looked at before and started ripping out the pages, one by one. It needed to be done, no matter how much I hated the idea. I wrinkled and threw the pages in the fire. When I'd finished with the book, I threw in the covers as well. A book on geology and physics followed the same fate.

- We have to eat to keep up energy, - I said, encouraging Luke and trying to dismiss my worries at the same time. He murmured a short 'yes' and came to sit next to me.

We didn't pay any attention to the taste of the food, it was gone in a couple of minutes. We finished our dinner with a cup of boiled water. It tasted starchy, but it served it's purpose by warming us up.

- Did you know, - I said, - that the name 'Aurora' actually comes from the Roman goddess of the dawn?

- Yes, - Luke answered.

- So... in a way, it is dawn now, - I said, and instantly regretted my pun. Jokes about the polar night probably weren't the best course of action.

Luke shot an angry glance at me, - DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? 

I shrunk and looked back at him. I couldn't help it. This was just about the only thing I could come up with to ease the tension. I had no plan, no way out. 

He got up and went around the room, throwing things to the ground, rummaging through the bookcases and shelves, opening up old notebooks, flipping through them, then switching to the next one, and doing more of the same. 

- We need to find something that gives us some... any indication of where we are! The snowmobile still has gas. If we'd just know what direction to go,.. - Luke said and kept looking through some of the notebooks. 

I took a couple of books and dropped them in the oven, paying little attention to it.

- Luke, we just need to pull through until noon, it'll be twilight then, we'll have better visibility and greater chances to,.. - I began.

- I can't sit and do nothing! What kind of cabin is this?! No wonder they don't use it anymore! - he swore and knocked down a chair.

After a while, Luke tired out and stopped moving. 

I didn't dare to turn and face him. I couldn't believe I'd been so short-sighted. What was any of my work worth, if I killed us? 

The book covers of 'Cryogenic Physics Section' and 'Sunspots' crackled merrily in the fire. The corners had already burned off and the pictures turned black. I took another one from the stack, not bothering to look at the cover of it, and threw it in the fire. 

We sat quietly each in a different spot of the cabin for quite some time. I was listening to the wind wailing outside and thinking of the stars far away, above the vast snowy plains. The wind would blow some of the snow up in the sky, creating small dancing whirls that just like ballerinas did pirouettes around and around, and round... 

I twitched and looked up. I must have dozed off at some point. My neck was stiff. I stretched and tried to get my bearings. Small pieces of paper were still burning in the oven. There was nothing left in the cabin to burn, not even the notebooks. Luke must have kept adding them to the fire while I was asleep. 

Luke was beside me, sleeping on a chair. He looked tired, there were dark circles under his eyes and he somehow seemed older. I shrugged off.

A dim light shone through the window - twilight had settled in. The visibility was better, but it was still dark enough to see some of the brightest stars in the sky. The wind had settled down.

I knew what I had to do. 

- Luke, get up! We have to get out! NOW! - I said, urgently poking him at his side.

There was no time to loose. We had little of 'daylight' as it was.

- What's happening? - Luke asked, clearly confused, almost falling off the chair he'd been sleeping on moments ago.

- Please, - I said, handing him his backpack.

As Luke got ready, I took the lighter and a bottle of disinfectant from the cupboard. I froze. I realized what needed to be done.

I took out the book and hesitated only for a moment. I ripped it apart and used is as a fire starter. Luke, quickly realizing what I was doing, came to help.

We were standing outside, watching the cabin burn. The flames enveloped it, creating a giant bonfire. Even if I didn't see the rescue team yet, I knew that we'd been saved.

- What was that book, anyway? - Luke asked, - The one we ripped apart?

- A means to an end, - I said.