Luna Narcisista

Here I am submerged in you, as we ogle the Sun as she uncovers her grey veil. She returns the gaze; angry, fierce, captious. A plethora of thoughts race through my mind at full pelt like water through an unlocked sluice; what would Mother think if she saw us now? How would she react? Have we initiated a Butterfly effect? We defied the order; I defied the order.

I am flooded with the euphoria of being in your presence. We are in a state of tranquillity, serenity and underwhelmed by the brevity of our dance of emotions. The warm breeze turns cool and sprawls in bringing with it, suppression of the quietude. The adults bask in the warming presence of the Sun, barely clothed whilst slyly watching their children and keeping them in check. The children pace through the warm sands with their feet partly sunk in with each irregular step, as they run against the breeze; cackling and blissfully unaware of my presence. The adults and the children are as unaware as each other, totally clueless about the plan that had been set in motion. It’s the stardust, it shrinks and silences. It makes the most beautiful girl- the most invisible and the most gallant celestial body- a speck of dust. Alas! Thunder erupts from the skies, an aggressive announcement chime of the heavenly downpour to be anticipated. The rain bumbles from heaven and unites with your natural fresh in a seamless meld- a symbiotic embrace. It reminds me of the past, of when we were younger and when I first fell in love with you- my forbidden love.

For so many years, Mother enforced that gap between us. I up there, you down here. It feels wonderful to be down here with you, to mend the gap. I had always wondered what it would be like to feel your supple skin and to be embraced and engulfed by your essence. This has beaten my expectations. Mother always told me “blood might not connect you but distance should never separate you, ” this has never made any sense to me, at least to an extent because I did not understand how she would never let us be in proximity to each other, yet expect us to remain loyal to just the thought and sight of one another. Aldebaran and Regulus are my closest family, in fact, they facilitated my escape and all I can say is stardust is not that hard to obtain when you have a very resourceful family. I always anticipated nighttime for that was my greatest opportunity to steal glances from you, I loved the way I could see a majority of myself in you. I wish I could express my emotions with words, constantly forgetful of our inability to voice our dissatisfaction at our eternal damnation but our ability to hear of the inexistence of an escape route from this torture. I wish I could take all of you with me to utopia, if it ever did exist, irrespective of the chains of gravity. What is it with mothers and believing their experiences makes them the omniscient judge of the directions of their offspring's lives? My favourite of Mother’s quotes from the great Nigerian novelist Chinua Achebe comes to mind, “the only thing we learn from experience, is that we learn nothing from experience.” The world and its workings are consistent proof of this and maybe it remains that way to keep the scale equipoised so that the injustices of the world balance the subjective justices controlled by the powers and forces that be. Maybe she wanted to control us, arguably, to prevent impending disaster and the probable chaos that may have erupted, but to what expense? With each passing day, I became filled with a ravenous want of you and I hatched an escape plan. 

I can feel you ripple under your skin. Is it from unease or from excitement? Is it from fear or from anticipation? This silence is deafening. How can I blame you though? It’s beyond our control. Our serendipitous zemblanity. We are but prisoners to the limits our life has created and our love has scaled through. I can hear you think. I can hear your confusion and I can feel your fear. How can I reassure you when our future is uncertain? I remember how you stared at me; did you wonder at my astonishing beauty and my valiant build? You have always highlighted my most beautiful features especially when the stars disappear and there is no coming light at the end of the tunnel. Or wait… are your stares just a call for help? Why do you stare at Heaven? WHO do you stare at in Heaven in search of? Wait… Solis? You long for her, do you not?. What does Solis possess that Luna does not? You should love me instead. It has just dawned on me. The silence has always been deafening and maybe it has obscured my ability to read the truth and now, my insecurities have been aired for your scrutiny.

It’s time. Time has always played an important role in my life and I wish I could bribe Time to hold on for just a little longer so I can beg for answers from you. Farewell my love, for when the stars align, I might just catch a glimpse of your undying love for me. I levitate back in position and take on full form in all my glory, hiding my shattered heart and my broken ego. Does the Lion mate with the Antelope? Does a child birth its mother? So how does the moon fall in love with a Lake? Maybe the ominous butterfly effect had already been ignited before my intervention. There it is, the way you glisten as my rays bounce off your skin, the reflection of me I love to see, it makes my puppeteered life slightly bearable, let me bask in it as I await Mother Nature’s decision on what my fate will be.