Bonds of Twisted Love

“I’m in love with Luka, and I don’t know what to do.” My friend just stares at me from across the table. We’re in a little café on our lunch break, and I had to tell someone the feelings that have been brewing for a while now. I hadn’t expected her to go all speechless on me though.

“Luka, huh? When did that happen? Does he know?” She finally answers me, but avoids looking at me the entire time. 

“No, no one knows right now, but you’re my best friend. I needed to tell someone and who better to tell than you?” I hear the softest sigh come from her. I wonder what’s running through her head right now. “So...what do you think?” I’m so anxious. We’ve been friends forever and I need her support for this.

“I mean, it’s unexpected. I didn’t even know that you really knew anything about Luka. Our work doesn’t cross over a lot in regards to seeing people face to face.” Now she looks me in the eye. Maybe she just needed to process the information, I did just kind of spring it on her. “I don’t think that it’s necessarily a bad thing, but I also don’t think that you’re really in love. A crush maybe, but in love is a little strong for talking about someone you hardly know.” 

“I know it seems that way, but we’ve actually talked a lot lately. With all the freaky stuff happening in the area he’s been walking me to my car every night for the last month. And you have to admit he’s an attractive man.” He’s blonde with green eyes, a rarity here, and he has strong facial features that somehow have delicate lines. On top of that he’s funny. He’s got a great view on life and we have similar interests. “He’s a pretty amazing guy, but I’m afraid to try and ask him out. We haven’t talked about personal relationships much so I don’t know if he has a girlfriend already or not.”

“I’m sure that’s true, but you’re also a chickenshit.” Ouch, bluntly pointing out my weakness. That’s a little harsh for this situation.

“Well yeah. I like to think I’m just selective with the people I let in my life though. It’s worked out okay for me so far. Wouldn’t you be at least a little nervous?” I shoot a small glare her way as I continue, “I mean it. When was the last time you had an actual relationship and not just a string of guys you keep around for amusement? Do you have anyone that you really like right now?” Her entire face just seems to freeze. It’s starting to get a little strange, I’ve never seen her act like this before.

“That my dear is a conversation for another day. We’re about to be very late going back to work with all of this.” She suddenly changes the subject after glancing at her phone screen. Without meeting my gaze she packs her phone back into her purse and grabs her blue sweater off the back of her chair. “Let’s go chickie.” 

“Alright fine. But we are going to keep talking about this later. This wasn’t exactly how I pictured this conversation going.” I let my disappointment and wistfulness leak into my voice. “I want to know what’s going on with you. For now though, promise me you won’t say anything to anyone else about this. I’m just not ready to follow through on my feelings yet.” 

“I’m not going to tell anyone. Frankly our business is none of anyone else's. We’ll get our shit sorted and deal with it one step at a time. If you aren’t ready then you aren’t ready. But c’mon we have to go now.” I follow her out of the café and back down the street to our office. We work at a newspaper together. I arrange photos, she arranges the articles and Luka is a reporter. She was right about one thing, until recently there had been very little personal contact between Luka and myself. He was always off on assignment and even when he was in it isn’t like reporters to mingle with the copy staff. Recently though, there had been a rash of murders in the area. They appear to be random home invasions, but there never appeared to be anything missing, and it was never a family home. Shortly after the second homicide Luka bumped into me on the way to my car. He offered to walk me there, and I took him up on it. It wasn’t as if my car was far away or anything but it did make me feel safer. I’ve always been a bit of an introvert, but after the first few times Luka got me to open up and actually talk to him. We’ve talked about many things in those short walks. Books, movies, just life in general. Slowly, and yet in no time at all, I realized that I was falling in love with this gallant and caring man. There’s been no obvious indication as to whether or not he feels the same way, and so I have been hesitant to bring it up to him. I had hoped that talking to Kira would help me to get over my reservations. She’s always after me to try and stand up for myself more often, and telling me that I needed to find someone to share my time with besides her, so her reaction today was a little strange. I shake it off though as I see Luka waiting to walk me back to my car again tonight. Truly there is nothing like the initial feeling of love. It brightens my entire view of the world and makes even the horrendous news seem as if a stroke of luck for my life.

“Hey ‘Fina, how are you tonight?” Luka asks two weeks later, smiling in my direction.

“Luka! I’m alright. Been a little bit of a good day, little bit of a bad. Seems to level out at least a little, I think.” I let warmth seep into my voice as I chuckle at myself. I allow my arm to brush against his as we exit the building and start off towards the parking lot. “How’s your day been? Do they still have you covering the invasions?”

“Unfortunately yes. There really isn’t much new information to report though. All I have are new victim names and an expanded area that’s been hit. None of what’s going on right now seems to be random. I don’t really understand it, but if you look at the victims they all fit a physical type. Dark hair, slender build, apparently living alone. It’s crazy if you ask me. I don’t see how the police haven’t been able to link them yet, just based on that alone. You also fit the victim type ‘Fina. I don’t want you to be alone any more than necessary. I want you to promise me that you’ll double check all the locks in your apartment. Keep your phone handy in case of emergencies. Promise me Serafina. I mean it. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.” The look he gives me is so warm, but it’s also penetrating and intimate. A look like that is enough to make me blush and wish I was a bit bolder of a person. If I was…

“Luka, would you like to come home with me tonight?” I hear my own voice rush out of my throat. Aw hell, did I really just say that out loud?! My face turns fiery as my eyes open wide in shock, “Uh, y-you can just ignore that! I-I’m not really sure why I said it at all. Please don’t take it to heart!” I bury my head in my hands in my mortification. I cannot believe I just did that! I only meant to think it, I never meant to say it out loud! 

“....fina….ey, Ser….” Luka’s voice suddenly snaps me back to reality. 

“W-what was that Luka? Sorry, I think I blacked out there for a moment.”

“Sera I said that I would love to take you home tonight. If it’s a little too strange for you, we can just hang out on your couch and watch TV or something. I don’t need anything else from you. I don’t expect anything but your friendship tonight. It’s ok, just breathe ‘Fina.” His calming voice washes over me and I feel the heat recede from my face just a little bit. 

“I would love that Luka, thank you. I’m sorry for being such a weirdo though…” I trail off and look at the ground. Whatever will he think of me after tonight? I ask him over in one breath and agree to qualifications the next. I don’t know why my mouth decided that it was going to run away with me! That kind of thing is enough to get anyone in trouble. I mentally facepalm as I beckon him towards my car. “Shall we go together?” He nods and gets in, filling the passenger seat with his bulk. The ride to my apartment is silent except for the radio, but it’s blessedly a comfortable silence and not an awkward one. As we exit my car I shoot a shy glance in his direction, leading him inside. “So, welcome to my home. It’s a little small, but it’s mine. Would you like a drink or anything? How’s a movie sound?” 

“A movie sounds like a great idea ‘Fina. I think that’s perfect. I’m up for whatever you want to watch.” His eyes smoldered at me, and I think my own reflected the same. That said, this entire situation is new to me. I’m nervous as all hell, but I go ahead and pick a random movie off my shelf and throw it on the TV before sitting myself next to him. I’m almost worried that my heart will beat out of my chest. I don’t know what to do in this setting. Luckily, Luka doesn’t seem to have that same problem. He throws his arm over the back of the couch and pulls me closer. The heat coming off his body feels incredible and oddly comforting. Relaxing deeper into his embrace we watch the movie in silence before passing out right there on my couch.

“....Sera...oh Seeraaa. It’s time to wake up sleepyhead!” A familiar voice singsongs as a whisper in my ear. 

“Mm...nooo...not enough…” I’m so tired that I try to brush off whoever it is.

“Aw, but Sera...I need you to be awake for this. Otherwise it just won’t be as fun! For me that is!” Suddenly a burning slap is making itself known, cutting across my cheekbone.

“What the hell!?” My tries to bolt straight up, my sleep addled mind taking a moment to realize that my wrists were tied to my waist. “What’s going on? Luka?” I ask confusedly, trying to take in my surroundings. For some reason though, everything had a weird blurry edge to it. 

“No, darling. Not Luka.” That voice. It was hissing at me, but it was still familiar. 

“Kira? What’s going on…? Why did you slap me and how did you get into my apartment?” I feel my brows furrow in further confusion. Am I still dreaming?

“Oh honey. Haven’t you figured that out yet? I had a spare key made that weekend I checked up on the place for you. Getting in was the easy part. The hard part was putting Luka down deep enough that he won’t wake up for our little... talk. Now, I know we’ve known each other for a long time, so this may seem a little trite to you, but I want Luka. He’s mine. I marked him the first time I saw him.” She growls out her words, her tone threatening more than just talk, “And now, now you tell me that you’re in love with him? In Love?? You don’t know him at all! But me, I know everything there is to know about him. I know about the birthmark on his hip, I know about the freckle in his belly button, and I know what kind of women he likes. Do you even care how long I’ve been cultivating a way to get close to him? A year and a half! That is how long I’ve been following him, learning about him. Wanting him.” She’s on a rant now. I feel my body trembling, I’ve never seen her like this, but I have to find a way out. From what she’s saying she’s been stalking Luka. This isn’t love, this is obsession! I have to keep her talking though, I have to try to find a way out of this situation, or I just might not exist tomorrow. After so many years, how did I not see this coming? There weren’t a whole lot of signs, just her weirdness when I told her my confession, but that could’ve been anything! How was I supposed to see this?

“Kira, why didn’t you just tell me? I-I could have helped! I could have pointed him your way! I wouldn’t have interfered,” I begin as I wriggle around trying to feel for anything inside my couch that would help me to cut the bindings. “I love you Kira, don’t you know that you’re worth more to me than any guy?” Oh! Success! Luka has a penknife in his back pocket. If I can just maneuver it I might be able to make it out of this alive. As I try to get a grip on it without moving too much Kira’s eyes narrow on me and I freeze in place.

“Why Sera, if that were true then why are you trembling? I knew I couldn’t count on you. You’re weak!” She spits, “You’re weak and useless. You follow me around like a little lost puppy starving for affection. Even if I did believe you, it’s too late now! There’s no way that you’d ever forget about this. I’ll just have to make it look like you ran away. That you left in the middle of the night, because you just couldn’t stand knowing that we cared for the same guy. Perha-wha..?” Her monologue is cut short as I get loose from my bonds and plunge the penknife into her chest. A look of shock crosses her face as the short blade finds it’s way between her ribs. She reaches up a hand to her chest to quickly pull it out. It’s too late though, the damage has been done. Blood spurts and then gushes like a waterfall down her chest. A streak of hot blood drips down my face, I look at my trembling hands.

“W-what, what, what, what did I do? Kira? It’s a dream right Kira? None of this is real, right? TELL ME IT ISN’T REAL!” I scream at her paling face. My mind spins in circles trying to process everything that just happened. The edges of my vision turn black and fade to nothing. 

“Sera?” Another voice chimes in. I don’t know how long it’s been. I don’t know where I’ve been, because as I look around I realize that I’m no longer in my apartment. I’m in a hospital bed. 

“What...what happened?” I lift a hand to my head and groan. I can feel a bandage there. 

“We were all kind of hoping that you could tell us that, Sera.” Luka, it’s Luka’s voice this time. 

“Luka? What do you mean? Why is there a bandage on my head? Who are these people?” I ask as I realize there are two unfamiliar men standing by the room door.

“Sera…” He hesitates, glancing at the men. “Sera, Kira is dead. I woke up in your apartment and saw you passed out on the floor with a gash on your head and Kira had a stab wound in her chest. Do you remember anything? Anything at all?” A worried look seems to be permanently etched onto his face now, but it’s still so beautiful. The cops share a glance, so I act as if I’m trying to remember the horror that happened in my living room. Not like I want to remember it, but they don’t need to know anything. Kira may have gone batty, but she’d been my best friend. I didn’t want to smear her memory, I wanted to try to preserve what good she’d done in her life. 

“Let’s see…” I put a pained look on my face and act like I’m thinking aloud. “I don’t remember you being at my apartment. I don’t actually remember being there either…” I squeeze my eyes shut, pretending to think. I look at the cops, thinking my way through. Maybe I could still get a happy ending out of this if I play it right. Actively thinking my way back now, I pick the one memory that’s bound to garner me sympathy and put me back on the path to happiness, “The last thing I actually remember, is sitting in a café and telling Kira that I’m in love with Luka…”