A few changes to the menu

Red Eye Café: Located at 1587 E Main Street, in the heart of Central Ohio!

Thank you for signing up for our newsletter.  As you know, we at the Red Eye Café are dedicated to keeping our customers happy.  Before I talk about the changes coming to our menu to celebrate the harvest season, I’d like to thank those of you that participated in our summer selection drinks.  The Bikini Mama and the White Claw Bro were by far two of the more popular drinks released for the season.  We hope you’ll find these new additions to our menu just as exciting.

As you may know, Red Eye Café has been around far longer than most of the restaurants on this side of main street.  We have gone under many different business names as ownership made their changes.  When we were Bob and Cathleen, we ran under the name Full Moon back in the early 1940’s.  Since then, Martin and Clare took over and opened Crimson Coffee in 1975.  After Martin and Clare were retired, you were presented with your happy hosts Calvin and June who opened Red Eye Café, serving only the finest local coffee and pastries.

Our staple menu isn’t changing.  If you are interested in ordering a Jai-Chai Latte, a Melody-Mint Mocha, or a Candy Scone, you’ll find we always have these in stock.  After all, Jai and Melody are still around to make their amazing one of a kind drinks just for you.  Candy may have left us recently, but we have found another young woman who happens to also be Candy to delight us with a fluffy and lightly sweetened scone. 

Our first new drink coming onto our menu is simply named Autumn Day.  Autumn Day will make you think of the first crisp morning where you notice the trees have started to turn a delightful array of colors and all the beautiful Midwest girls in our town have started to pull out their flannel shirts.  Autumn was captured, bitten and drained in the bright sunshine of an early autumn day and holds tones of clove and cinnamon in her deliciously warmed blood. While Autumn did not survive her first encounter with us, we were able to produce a large vat of combination life essence and Arabian blend coffee.  This is a limited time item, once it’s gone, it’s gone.

Warm Flannel is another limited time item, as there were only four moms at the park due to the covid 19 crisis.  Bethany, Julie, Susan and Karen will make you feel so warm and snuggly, like you are sitting underneath a Costco clearance flannel blanket while your kids played a flag football game.  All four women were at the park that day without masks and without regard for the safety of their community.  We were able to produce this warm hot chocolate style mocha in a large batch, as well as a few white cell sugar cookies with matching red flannel icing.  

It’s important to note that we here at the Red Eye Café are taking extra precaution to ensure the safety of our customers as well as continuing to provide only the highest quality product.  All four women were tested multiple times while being held in our roasting plant to ensure their health before they were turned into a perfectly palate pleasing product. While we understand that you can not die again, we do encourage all of our patrons to wear a mask while inside the facility so as to not arouse suspicion.  

The next drink we would like to talk about is one that we will be permanently adding to our menu!  While the name may be subject to change after the month of October, we have landed on the name of Stay Spooky.  You know those people who look like it’s Halloween all year long?  We were able to savor the feeling into a blonde cappuccino infused with an oaky flavor that will make you want to stomp in a pile of leaves. Currently this drink is coming in two varieties, the Willow and the Birch.  Both Willow and Birch claimed they were ready to accept their new life as a thrall to the coffee and have willingly created these beautiful concoctions for your enjoyment.  The Birch keeps things lighter and airy with a heavy cream base and ginger topping, while the Willow uses dark roasted beans with a bitter yet pleasing smoked pumpkin taste.

Before we introduce our last drink, we’d like to remind you about a few things that set Red Eye Café apart from the competition here in the central Ohio area.  We know that as immortals, the choices in drinks and dining are endless, and we’d like to thank you for your patronage here at Red Eye.  We are the only coffee shop in Ohio that does infusion coffee and pastries using only the finest locals that we have to offer.  Our thralls who have agreed to produce for us are considered “open range” by all accounts.  We allow them their own comfortable homes, with a supervising roommate, where they can donate their time and product to us a few times a day at their convenience. 

On that note, we’d like to announce that our very own Desirae has won thrall of the month for her continued contributions to our facility.  Between donations, Desirae has also managed to finish her college degree in paranormal studies with an emphasis in creative writing and history. 

Our final new menu addition is one that I simply like to call Hayride.  I won’t bore you with the details of this capture done by yours truly, but we can say that the roll in the hay we took before his ultimate demise was simply thrilling.  By allowing him to reach a level of pure ecstasy before ultimately ending his life, the Hayride brioche that resulted will leave you feeling all those same thrilling and tingling notes.  To say it bubbles and pops in your mouth is an understatement.  These are so decadent that even our non immortal customers will appreciate it’s buttery smooth, yet flakey crust.  To complete this bread, make it into a sandwich using the meats and cheese of our choice, or simply ask us to toast it and drizzle it in our signature red velvet sauce.

Remember, these items are for a limited time only.  Of course we have big plans for thanksgiving next month as well, including the return of the cornucopia drink! 

As a courtesy reminder, we ask that you do not disclose the secret menu as seen here in a blunt and obvious way.  Remember to order these drinks by asking if the barista is in.  For example, ask if the Barista Willow could make your usual with a Flannel cookie on the side. 

Stay warm, Ohio!

Love June