A World I Finally Belong

I never imagined the depth I would need to dive to feel like I belonged in this world that I was thrusted into. Meeting the expectations of royalty could be a struggle, especially for someone like me. I was used to my father yelling at me to brush my hair, put on my makeup, wear my flowing dress, all before it was 6:30 in the morning. I was never allowed to leave my room until I did the things, he demanded of me, and it felt suffocating. I was never going to be my own person, because I was forced to become an extension of the people who "created" me.  

"Alexa, what on earth is taking you so long this morning? Do you not understand the importance of today?" My mother's voice boomed from beyond the entrance to my room, and I sighed as I finished applying the thick liner, she so desperately wanted me to wear. "Yes mother, I do understand. You and father are hoping to marry me off to some well off noble man, in the hopes the war between our village and the one next to us will come to an end." I open the door to see her annoyed expression, but it quickly softens when she sees what she calls her masterpiece staring at her.  

"What a beautiful daughter you make, and one day you'll make a beautiful wife!" She coos as me as she fluffs my deep auburn curls. "Thank you, mother." I whisper softly, hating the compliments that she chooses to give me. I have never wanted to be a wife, but I know what my future hold for me. My future will be whatever my parents decide for me. The reflection of myself that I see in the mirror is that of a person I do not know but wish I could avoid. I am so close to a spitting image of my mother, wish I could more closely resemble my father. I do not hate that I am a woman, but I wish that I could present less womanly.  

The day progresses as normal. My mother and father spent some time together before my father went off to his study to begin planning for the day. My mother baked cookies, and the aroma filled the many rooms with a delicious scent, and I wandered aimlessly around our home, roaming from room to room like a ghost. There have been many times I felt as though I didn't belong, and today was a strong reminder of those feelings.

I finally decided that I would sit and read a book. Many hours passed, and eventually noon arrived. It was time for my life as I knew it to end. My father quickly left his study and called for the car so that we may travel to meet the lovely noble people of the village so close to here. Him and my mother talk nonstop about what a beautiful wedding it will be, and how much of a stunning bride I'll make. I just stare out the window and hope that this day will end quickly.  

 Getting to the village, we leave our car behind and I follow my parents towards a large building with flowers that light up the entire square. I stop for a moment, wanting to lean in and smell a beautiful bunch of tulips, when I feel a small tap on my shoulder. "Pardon me, but I just wanted to tell you that I think you are beautiful." A small voice whispers from beside me, and I turn around quickly. I'm stunned into silence by the awe-inspiring woman staring up at me. Her face is small and round, her eyes glowing bright green, and I feel my heart sputter in my chest. "Thank you." I stammer and bow toward her. I have never in my life met a woman so breathtaking. 

 "Are you here to find a husband as well?" she asks in a small voice, and we both glance at the building where my parents disappeared into. "I guess so." I can't bring myself to sound excited at the idea. A husband is not what I want in my life. "My parents are forcing me here as well. they believe I'll find the right man and be married by Sunday." She laughs, and the sounds is like little windchimes ringing.  

 "Are you not a woman who wants to be married?" I ask, and she blushes. "I'd love to be married, but not to a man." The confidence in her voice throws me off balance, and I smile shyly at her. Does that mean we have the same interest in the directions we want our lives to take? "What ever could you mean by that statement?" I ask, trying to play the overly innocent individual. She laughed at me sweetly. "Is it safe for me to assume you feel the same way about the thought of marrying one of these noblemen?" She asks as she looks at the flowers, and I feel my face heat up. "I do, but what is there to be done?" I ask, feeling helpless. 

 She smiles at me again, and I glance back to the place where my parents vanished into the building. I wonder briefly if they have noticed that I haven’t yet followed them inside. "We may not know each other beyond this small encounter, but we do have the same plans for our future it would seem. I say that we run away together, live a life by our design." I fight the urge to cry, biting back the intense sadness I feel. I would love to be able to run away with her, but I fear the repercussions. "But how will we live a normal life?" I ask, the fear of being viewed as anything but normal consuming me.  

 She takes my hands in her, and glances at the building. "We will live a normal life, because we are still normal people. The people we love is out of our control, but the choice to not feel like we need to live a lie is ours to make. I will not live an ordinary life just to please the people around me. Come live an extraordinary life with me." Those were the only words of encouragement I needed. I gave one last glance at the building my parents were waiting for me in, allowed myself the moment to mourn their loss, and ran down the streets of this neighboring village, holding the hands of a girl I just met. it surprised me how normal I felt. and I was glad to finally have met someone who made me feel like I actually fit in.