The Child Support Blues

It was the day of Tiffany’s seventeenth birthday party. That was when Janelle decided how she would trick Robert one year later to the day. She was going to lie and tell him that his daughter had been in a bad car accident. The doctors were not sure if she would recover, she would say. That would teach him for being such a stingy, selfish bastard.

Ever since the divorce, Robert had been a jerk. But it was his behavior at the birthday party that he put Janelle over the edge. He surprised Janelle and Tiffany by coming at all, since he lived an hour away. When he arrived he brought flowers and a wrapped present. Janelle could see the look of delight on Tiffany’s face. For most of her life her father had ignored her. She wondered if he had turned a new leaf.

Robert was friendly with Janelle’s family and the other party guests, which was out of character. After the food but before the cake, he had a conversation with Janelle’s cousin Curtis. Curtis had two children by two different women, neither of whom he had married. He paid child support to both of them. Janelle lingered in a nearby room eavesdropping on the conversation.

“At least my child support will end in a year,” Robert said. “Tiffany is turning eighteen.” Robert had fixated on Tiffany turning eighteen ever since Janelle could remember. Every time they talked he reminded her.

“That’s not always true,” Curtis said.

“What do you mean?” asked Robert. “The law says when your kid turns eighteen child support ends.”

“Unless your kid turns out to be ‘disabled’, Curtis said. He held up his fingers to make exaggerated air quotes. “Then you have to pay until the kid turns twenty-one.”

Robert paused and looked worried. Janelle knew this was a sensitive topic for him. On the few occasions they spoke, he always dropped a reference to how much child support he paid. He would ask what she was going to do when Tiffany turned eighteen and her free ride was over. Janelle found this so offensive because Robert had no idea how much it cost to raise a child. Not only that, but she suspected Robert was hiding income to reduce the amount of support he had to pay. He worked in construction. Back when they were still together he got paid in cash a lot. She suspected he still did.

After he got over the surprise, Robert challenged Curtis on the issue. But Curtis seemed confident, even giving Robert the exact legal code that said so.

“A lot of women don’t want to work,” Curtis said. “They want to get knocked up by some sucker and live off child support for as long as they can. They don’t want their kids to graduate because that way the checks keep rolling in."

“I don’t think that will happen to me,” Robert said. “My Tiffany gets good grades.” He didn’t sound confident.

Towards the end of the party Robert paid Tiffany a lot more attention than he usually did. Tiffany beamed with delight. She had always longed for a better relationship with her father.

“I hope you’ve been keeping up with your grades,” Robert told her. “You were always such a smart girl.”

“Yes I have, daddy,” Tiffany said. “Straight A’s.”

They both smiled but Janelle didn't. She knew what Robert’s true motive was and she wasn’t impressed.

****

Robert didn’t visit at all over the next year. He texted Tiffany about once a month or so. He and Janelle only talked once, a few months before Tiffany’s eighteenth birthday. He asked how Tiffany was doing in school. He reminded Janelle that child support would be ending soon. Janelle mentioned that Tiffany planned on going to college.

“College isn’t cheap,” Janelle said. “I’m going to let her live with me and pay what I can because I love her and she is my daughter. I know you love her too, even though you don’t show it much. Will you pitch in what you can, even after you don’t have to?”

“That’s what all the child support money I’ve been paying over the last fifteen years is for,” Robert said. “You should have been saving it up better. Not my fault.”

****

Janelle had told Tiffany her plans from the beginning, and Tiffany thought it was a great idea. At nine in the morning Janelle made the call. Robert picked up after three rings. “What do you want?” he asked. “I’m at work.”

“There’s been an emergency,’ Janelle sobbed. She could cry on command. “Tiffany is at the hospital.”

“Huh?” Robert stammered.

“She was in a bad car accident.” Janelle continued, still weeping. “They said something about brain damage. I’m going to the hospital right now.”

There was a long pause. Janelle looked at Tiffany who was in the corner of the room holding her hand over her face. They both knew what was going on in Robert’s mind. If Tiffany became disabled he would have to pay child support for three more years. They didn't know if he would be sleazy enough to say it out loud.

He finally spoke. “What room is she in?” he asked.

Janelle paused. She had expected that Robert’s first reaction to be concern about not having his child support end. She had considered mentioning this fact in the call. But she decided against it, thinking it would be too obvious if she did. Robert was selfish and had never shown much interest in Tiffany. So she had assumed his mind would leap to how this would impact only himself. Should she let him in on the prank?

“Two seventeen,” she blurted out. She shrugged at Tiffany.

Robert hung up. Janelle called him back but he didn’t pick up. She texted for him to call her, but no reply came. After two more minutes, she tried to call again, but no answer. She texted again, writing: “Robert it was a prank. Tiffany is fine. Call me.” He did not reply.

“What are we going to do?” Janelle asked. “He might be trying to call the hospital right now. I need to tell him this was a prank.”

“Doesn’t your friend Beth work at the hospital?” Tiffany said. “You could call her to warn her that Robert may be calling.”

“Good idea,” Janelle said. Her friend Beth was a charge nurse. It was a small hospital. Beth might be able to tell whoever answered the phones to tell Robert it was a prank.

Janelle texted Beth and told her she needed to talk to her right away. She tried to call and text Robert several more times with no answer. About fifteen minutes later she finally got a response from Beth asking what was going on. Through text, Janelle gave her a summary of the situation.

“I only wanted to scare him because he’s such a jerk,” Janelle wrote. “Now I’m worried.”

Beth replied that she would talk to the receptionist who answered the main hospital line. She would tell her that if Robert called she should tell him his daughter was fine and to call Janelle right away.

“I don’t think he is on Facebook or anything like that,” Janelle told Tiffany. “I am not sure how else we can reach him.”

“Is there anyone else we can call who will know how to get in touch with dad?” Tiffany asked.

Janelle racked her brain. As far as she knew Robert didn’t have a girlfriend. She hadn’t talked to his parents or sister in years, and didn’t even know if they were alive. No one in Robert’s family had tried to maintain a relationship with Tiffany. She searched her phone looking for numbers and finally came up with one for Robert’s mother Sandra. She must be eighty by now, Janelle thought.

After four long rings a croaky, tired-sounding voice answered. It took a while for Janelle to describe who she was and what the call was about. Sandra seemed confused.

“I didn't know that Robert got married,” she said. “How is he? He never comes to visit his mother.” Janelle gave up trying to explain and said farewell.

“This is hopeless,” she said. “I don’t think there is anything more we can do.”

****

Beth called an hour later. “I haven’t seen him in years but he might be here right now. I saw someone who looks like him getting out of a Green Nissan Sentra. He looks like I remember, only fatter."

“Yes, that’s him,” Janelle said. “He drives that car and he got fat. We’ll be right there. If you find him, let him know about the prank.”

In ten minutes Tiffany and Janelle burst through the main hospital doors. Janelle checked her texts and there was one from Beth. Beth said she had to get back to her unit to handle an emergency. She hadn’t had a chance to look for Robert and hadn’t seen him anywhere.

Janelle and Tiffany raced all over the small hospital but couldn’t find Robert. Janelle’s heart raced and she panted for breath. Tiffany was doing the same.

“Wait a minute,” Janelle said. “What was that room number I gave him? I’m terrible at remembering numbers.”

Tiffany squeezed her eyes shut and scratched her forehead. Finally she remembered. “Two seventeen.”

They looked at the wall directory and ran towards room two seventeen. As they turned the corner, they saw Beth standing outside the door to a room. When she saw them she put her finger to her lips. With her pointer finger she gestured for them to come closer.

Janelle and Tiffany stopped running and walked over to where Beth was standing. Beth pointed in the room and again gave them the sign to be quiet.

Janelle looked and there was Robert, who was weeping. He was kneeling by the bed of a patient who was sleeping under a blanket.

“I have never been a good daddy for you,” Robert said between sobs. “I only think about myself. That’s going to change, I promise. I’m going to be there for you from here on out.”

Who did Robert think he was talking to? Whoever was in that hospital bed, it was not Tiffany. Janelle, Tiffany, and Beth all looked at each other with their eyes wide open. Janelle put her hands up in the air, as if to ask whether they should go in the room. Beth and Tiffany shrugged.

“And another thing,” Robert said, wiping tears from his eyes with his hand. “I never paid your mom what I should have. I always told my buddy Darrin to pay me under the table. Then I kick him back some cash to make up for it. I’m going to make that up to you by helping with your college if you ever can get in. I’ll get a second job if I have to.”

Janelle’s mouth fell open and she covered it with her hand. Then the blankets fell aside and a head lifted from the hospital bed. It was a little old man.

“What in the name of creation are you talking about?” the old man asked. “It’s hard enough to get shut eye in this place. The nurses wake me up every fifteen minutes to take my blood pressure. The last thing I need is some blubbering fool rambling on about his daughter. Get out!” With that the man’s head disappeared back under the blanket.

Robert stood up and turned towards the door, hanging his head. As he got to the doorway he saw Janelle, Tiffany, and Beth.

“What’s going on?” he asked, eyeing Tiffany up and down. “I thought she was in a car accident.”

“It was only a prank,” Janelle said. “I’ve been trying to text and call you all morning,”

“I ran out of the house so fast that I left my phone at home.” he said. “Some prank. I’ve been worrying sick.”

“Well it serves you right,” Janelle said. “The way you treated your daughter all these years. Now at least you can learn to appreciate her more. She’s a great girl.”

Robert scoffed and stormed away.

“By the way,” Janelle called after him, “I heard what you said about getting paid in cash. Don’t think I won’t be taking you to court. You will owe me a lot of back child support for lying about your income. You better have a good lawyer ready.”