Is it the Road Trip Talking?

“I can’t wait to hit the beach!” Mary strapped her surfboard to the roof of the car. “We can totally rule the night life! Leave our regular selves behind!” she grabbed my shoulders, pulled me beside her and waved a hand in front of the great unknown as if we were intrepid explorers.

“Sure.” I shrugged laughing as I packed the last suitcase into the RAV. It was a very full car for just two best friends heading out on a summer road trip. It was going to be awesome. Just her, me and the open road for a full month before we went our separate ways for university. She’d gotten a scholarship to Dalhousie University in our home city of Halifax, but I was hitting the road in the fall for Durham College in Ontario. The dream team would be apart. We had to make every minute of this trip count.

“Do you think we can stop in Maine and do some shopping?” Mary was climbing into the passenger seat. I had drawn the short straw for the first leg of driving. I climbed behind the wheel, adjusting the mirrors from my dad’s usual positions to my own.

“Why not!” I laughed. Our trip was very loosely planned. I only had one goal really and that was to stop at my college in Ontario at some point in order to check out my new future home. She, on the other hand, just wanted beaches and boys.

The drive out of Halifax settled us quickly into the secret monotony that is road trips. The highways are long and the scenery is unchanging for hours at a time. Driving across New Brunswick is enough to kill any enthusiasm with its hours of trees and sweeping green manicured lawns. Mary slept and the driving shift change took place before long. We weren't stopping the first night as we wanted to get through Quebec at night because their traffic was so bad.

I ruminated on the speedy departure of our enthusiasm as Mary fueled the car up at 2 am in the morning. The florescent lights of the gas station seemed especially harsh. She jumped back in behind the wheel and tossed a candy bar at me. I caught it with irritation. I was tired. Who throws candy at someone who is tired at 2am?

“Thought you might like one.” She chomped into her snickers while rolling the engine into start with the key.

“Thanks.” my voice was biting and she glanced at me sideways. “Sorry. Having trouble getting to sleep. I think I’m a bit cranky.”

“No worries! Try to get what you can. We will sleep tomorrow once we are through Quebec.”

I closed my eyes and tried to let the bumpy road carry me to sleep.

A week later found us on a beach. Mary was surfing and men were flocking to her as she had wanted. I sat in the sand trying desperately to be upbeat. Who thought a month long road trip was a good idea anyway? Worse yet, once we’d crossed into the states we’d stayed there, straying further and further away from my one goal of getting to Oshawa. She’d placated me telling me that we’d swing there on the way home and that a trip through the states was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Typical Mary stuff. She was the perpetual optimist to my pessimist.

Also I hated the sand. Once a few boys turned up that was Mary gone and to hell with the rest of us. A small breeze whipped sand into my face. I spluttered and spit. Calm. I told myself internally. The trip hadn’t been all bad. I was tired and the RAV had picked up a weird scent that I couldn't place my finger on. Small annoyances were mounting but weighed against the time we were spending and the fact that it was our last time being together, it was worth it.

“Anna get out here! The water is great!” Mary screams and waves at me from her perch atop a golden colored man’s shoulders. I sigh. If there’s one thing I hate more then sand its salt water. But I shake my shoulders and pathetically jog out to the edge of the water, making a sad show of my excitement to join them.

Three weeks in and Mary and I have had any number of small fights. The A/C on or off in the RAV (never have I wished for dual climate control more), where to stop for food, when to get a hotel room or slum it in the car, and most importantly when to turn around and begin the return trip. I still really need to go to Oshawa to stake out my new territory.

“Anna you are going to spend a full year on that campus. You’ll know what it’s like when you arrive. You need to chill.” Mary sips her iced tea and stares out over the boulevard. She’s on the prowl for boys. “There’s a party tonight in the field. We got invited by Josh.”

I groan. Josh is the hunky piece of southern meat Mary has fawned over for the last three days. “A field party.” I stress my disgust. “This whole trip has been nothing but parties and beaches. We haven’t gone to a single museum or historic site or anywhere even remotely interesting this whole time! You told me when we planned this trip that we would do both. Some of my stuff and some of yours. So far its been three weeks of all yours.” I feel the guilt creeping into my soul.

Why am I fighting with my best friend? Its not like I didn’t know that this was who she was. I’m wasting our last time together and I’m wasting it on fighting over dumb things. And yet I can’t back down. Even though I know i should just suck it up and enjoy it, words keep tumbling out of my mouth, expressing my grievances.

Her face is thunderous. Normally shes got such an open and bright face. Now it looks stormier then a tsunami paired with a lightning storm. I’ve never seen this face and I don’t know what it means. She stands. “Then go home! God I can’t stand you, you boring dimwitted slut!” she storms off down the street, her flip phone already out. Dialing Josh no doubt.

I watch her going dumbfounded. She’s never called me names. Slut? I barely express a passing interest in the sexes. Suddenly a documentary of missing girls flashes through my mind cutting through the hurt she’s caused. I stand and run after her. I wont be the reason shes on a milk carton.

“Mary!” I grab her arm and she yanked it out of my grasp. Shes blubbering and I can hear a male voice on the other side. Josh. “I’m sorry. I’ll go to the party with you.” Right after I buy some mace I add internally.

She squeals and hugs me. Her waterworks evaporate as if they never existed. I feel cold suddenly. Is this my friend? How have we been friends for so long? Or is this the effects of the road trip? Who suggested a road trip anyway?

If we weren’t on this dumb sleep deprivation trip we’d have spent the summer in Halifax having fun and laughing. Eating beaver-tails on the waterfront or walking at Shubie park or even going to the beach. But not this dangerous mayhem that is partying far from home.

The party in the field is the vomit-inducing mayhem I expected. Truck speakers blare radio tunes of popular country hits. Alcohol is abundant and the boys and girls dance and grind and kiss. I keep my eye on Mary and her drink. I, myself only drink the one beer that was put in my hand and I have a water bottle in my car which is locked and near the outside of this modern day drum-circle. Mary is having a lot of fun though and I take pleasure in that. I’m happy and shes including me a bit more. She even enticed me to dance with her at one point. But the hours are waxing and I’m waiting for us to hit the road.

This was our big outro. We are supposed to be driving at least fifty miles back up toward Canada tonight. I’m tired and shes definitely in no shape to drive. I’m not sure we will even make it out of this dumb field to the first hostel we see on the highway. But our earlier fight is still fresh and I don’t want to poke the bear. Instead I opt for subtle tactics. I hold the RAV’s bulky keys in my hand and flash them at her from my place by the trucks tailpipe from time to time.

Suddenly she runs over out of breath and says she’s ready to go. I’m so relieved that I don’t talk just nod and go to the car. We get about as far as I assumed we would and we pass out in the RAV’s black seats on the side of the highway. Maybe the return trip will be better. The anticipation of home and the endless chatter about our adventures will be the sails beneath this last leg of our journey. I no longer have time for Oshawa and its a burr under my saddle but I’m resolved to be okay with it, for Mary.

The next morning we stop at a truckers pit stop and get breakfast. Mary goes to the bathroom for an uncomfortably long time. The kind of length where you start to worry. Suddenly shes there beside me shoveling food into her mouth and chatting about the party last night.

“And then Josh said I should spend the rest of summer with him.” she laughs. “So I called dad and he’s going to send me a plane ticket so I can stay.” she takes a drink of water. “Oh and then Marcus said...”

“What?” I almost shouted. The news shocked my sense of volume. She pauses in her rambling and looks at me with innocent blue eyes.

“What?”

“You’re staying?”

She nods in a matter-of-fact way. “Yep. If you’d drop me off at the next exit that’d be great. Josh will pick me up from there.” she smiles as if there’s no possible way this could be anything but the best.

I’ve been punched. The trip was based on two incomes not one. My savings might not get me home. Not to mention how am I supposed to drive all the way home alone in time to pack and see my other friends and family? She’s ditching me. Not ditching me, leaving me to drown. I want to say all of this but all that comes out is a gurgle, a splutter of emotion that means nothing.

“Hurry up and finish Anna. He’s going to be there at 10.” she stands and goes to pay her bill. I follow meekly.

“Your dad is really okay with you going off with a total stranger?” I say as I climb behind the wheel. What I want to say is your dad is fine with you ditching me? But I don’t.

“He’s not a stranger. I’ve met his parents. They are totally cool by the way. Dad spoke with them on a video call yesterday afternoon when you were out getting some food.”

The car roars to life and I lurch out of the parking lot. It seems my driving is representative of my mood. “He’s fine with you not coming back with me.” It’s not a question anymore.

“Anna. I didn’t think you’d mind. Do you mind?” her voice is all honey but for the first time ever I hear the sickly sweet undercurrent. Have we ever been friends or is this the road trip talking?

“Of course I mind! You are ditching me in the middle of our road trip and now I have to make the grueling drive back alone because you want to flirt a little longer!” I’m screaming. Its a torrent, it might not be stoppable. My various grudges from this trip surface like black ooze.

“You’re just mad because we aren’t going to stop by your precious campus.” Mary pouts but I’m not falling for it. I pull over onto the exit. We got here fast. I think I was speeding and screaming.

I jump out of the car and open the trunk. In a blind rage I begin to toss her stuff. Souvenirs, suitcases and various bags of items. Her pillow lands in a puddle and she shrieks. The wind is high today and some of her things are floating away because the bags are open. She’s chasing them down and calling me names but I’m so past caring.

With her stuff out of the car there’s a lot of room in here. I could probably make a bed and sleep on the road quite comfortably. Maybe I can make good time and get back in time to make the quick detour to Oshawa after all. I feel lighter. I hear a car honk. Its Josh and his mom.

“Anna!” Mary is in front of me. I’m about to get into the car.

“Bye.” and we both know its final as I slam the door and hit the gas.

I did manage to get to Oshawa before going home. The campus is lovely and so green! It’s in what is locally dubbed ‘The Green Belt’. A strip of land that gets so much sun and rain that everything is next level luscious and green.

A week into being home Mary arrived at my front door pretending as if nothing happened. She has a wicked sunburn and shes trying to tell me about how Josh turned into a prig so she came back early. I shut the door in her face, mid rambling. And it felt so good.

I ran into her dad shortly after being back and he was shocked to know how it ended. He had thought I was also staying but that I wanted to come back in the car alone because I was side-tripping to Durham college to do some paperwork. Mary had lied to him and he told me he’d never have agreed to let her ditch me otherwise.

Our friends, both mutual and non are somewhat less surprised at the news. Which was surprising in and of itself. They will miss me a lot and spent my remaining weeks in Halifax having so much fun it was unreal.

The fact is road trips sound amazing. We always think they are going to be chock full of laughter and adventures. The truth is its monotonous. Its a lot of driving. A lot of aches and pains and in there is sprinkled some fun. Mostly though its just looking at the same trees as you pass various borders.

I lost a friend on a road trip but I learned a lot. Maybe road trips aren’t so bad. Flying solo was the most fun I’d had that whole summer. Maybe I’ll road trip out to Alberta next.