13 comments

Crime Horror Friendship

Author's note: This is not my usual style. Beware. But, you know, new inspiration from new books so I thought I would give it a go. You've been warned.

“I’ve told you before, I am NOT doing that!” Lev protested. “Who in their right mind would do such a thing?”

“Good thing I lost my right mind long ago.” I replied.

“You’ve asked me to do this before. Join you on one of your jolly jaunts, you ask, but NO, I will not join you. The answer is no.”

“I just don’t see what’s so wrong with it as long as you do it in the right way- which I do.”

“Which part do you not get? N? O? Do you want to hear it in French? Would that help? NON!” God, he was crazy sometimes. Couldn’t Lev just see that it was a good thing? Sometimes?

“Just hear me out. Okay?”

He stared at me.

Intensely.

His cogs were whirring.

Is it worth it?

“Okay... as long as you stop pestering me after this” He held his hand out,

I shook it,

“Thank you. This time I have a new method of persuading you. Instead of last time, when I didn’t think and just asked, I could understand why you rejected the offer outright. This time, though, it will be different. I have thought about it. I have written about it and I would like you to read about it. Or I could read it to you? Doesn’t matter?”

“Er… You can read it? I’m still in shock that you can think.”

I pulled out the paper. I flamboyantly flapped and flattened them. I cleared my throat,

AHEM!

“Why you should consider murder as a favourite hobby? By Dylan O’Neil.” I paused dramatically for effect. “When one says murder, one usually thinks ‘not good’ or something to a similar effect. One does not think of it as a useful cleaning process of people who are not wanted or good. This is why I, Dylan O’Neil, have decided to write this. I feel that murder is justified and can be used for a good cause- as long as it is done properly and in the right situation. I have compiled a list of 4 very, very, very,good reasons to support my thinking. Are. You. Ready?” I turn to look at Lev. 

 I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but what I got was gobsmacked Levi. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes slightly glazed. Who knew if  that was a good thing but there weren't any protests. I plowed on. 

“First and foremost, murder is useful. You know those people who walk free from jail? They should pay for the crimes they commit, yet they don’t. So, I stop them. Is that a good reason? I think it is. They pay for the suffering they inflicted. Do you think that’s fair? I think it is. You, Levi, are all about justice and you, Levi, should want to bring these people down. Why don’t you join me? No one will know and no one will care if someone who has murdered, hurt, or stolen from other people, with the exception of what little family they have left. I was surprised to find out that so many jailbirds have very little family- normally they’re dead, murdered-which is why I- we- will be different. We will be doing good killing these people. After all, soldiers kill innocent civilians or soldiers that have done nothing except follow orders, and they are not wanted- in fact they are respected. So if they get respect for killing good people, what would we get for killing bad people?”

“Dylan.” 

“Yes.”

“You are crazy.”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to carry on?”

“Yes” 

Well, he hadn’t walked off. I must have done well.

“Murder can be beautiful. As long as you do it in the right way, it can be beautiful. I remember the first time I did it. I hit their neck, hoping for one clean cut, only it didn’t happen the way I imagined it. It wasn’t clean. I hit the artery and blood went everywhere. A fountain of blood, right there in front of me, covering me, then slowly drip, drip, dripping off me. I loved it. But, I didn’t use that method again. I’m much more careful now. Slice, by slice. Limb, by limb. You can see your work and get instant joy from it. It really can be beautiful- though opinions may differ. You may discover that you like to slowly carve pieces of them. First an ear, then the mouth, then an eye, but I like to do it big. You know me; go big or go home. I do an arm then a leg. It’s beautiful.”

“Personally I much prefer the Mono Lisa to ‘The fountain of Blood. I am, after all, a perfectly normal person.”

“Mostly. You have that addiction to peg collecting.”

“Still, a better hobby than murder. I can write a speech about that if you want.” He winked.

“Lev. Don’t ever wink at me again. Now shut up.”

He winked, but then he shut up.

“Murder can relieve stress and calm you down. If you’ve had a long day at work, or you feel like someone’s out to get you and you’ve got all this pent up rage, what better way to let it out than with a knife and a person? Maybe even the person that was bugging you? Who knows? But, just think of the possibilities. Do you do it slow, relishing the cries of pain, letting your anger slowly deflate? Or do you end it quick, with just a slight throat, or stabbed chest, letting your anger go out with a bang? Does that person deserve it? Yes. Probably. As long as you do it right.” 

“Well, what do you say? I’m starting to buy this?”

“Really?”

“No, not really, but carry on anyway.”

“Murder is revenge. There are and always will be people who deserve to die. And then burn in hell for all of eternity. We kill those. Only those. No one else. How do we know if they’ve killed? We research. I am always certain to check, double check, triple check. No one minds if a murderer goes missing.”

“Yes. That really is something.”

“And…”

“I have someone in mind…”

I handed him the knife. He looked at me. Then he looked at the knife. 

He smiled.

Happily.

He was going to do it.

He was going to kill someone.

I didn’t realise what had happened until I saw a silver, glint of metal next to me.

And then.

Nothing.

January 29, 2021 14:41

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

13 comments

21:45 Jan 29, 2021

Hey there! This was very creative not to mention interesting, almost gives off a Death Note vibe, and I have a few things I noticed while reading. (Some of these might just be me personally but I feel like pointing them out) With the second line, it doesn't exactly flow smoothly in my mind. (This is one that might just be me and the way I read it). A few small things I noticed were things like punctuation. In places, there were question marks where there should've been periods and vise versa. This again might just be me but I found mysel...

Reply

20:32 Mar 24, 2021

A death note fan?

Reply

20:41 Mar 24, 2021

i have actually never seen it, but i know bits about it from my friends

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
08:23 Jan 30, 2021

thank you for taking the time of reading and critiquing. I have now made both a mental and physical note of it. I now see that these improvements would make it better. Thank you again

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
20:32 Mar 24, 2021

Ha, right at that first exchange, I was drawn in. I love the separation of paragraphs you use, how each is like a different thought!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Whitney Jones
15:53 Feb 08, 2021

I feel like I've read this late. Oops. But hey, Dakota!! So while I was reading you did have some parts where the question mark's were unnecessary. When you write, reread over it to make sure that it makes complete sense. It will help a whole lot. Also, when you write make sure that you make the dialogue understandable and clear. I was completely confused on some parts. But overall excellent job!! I suck at murder stuff, not a crime kind of girl. I like it but nahh. You did a good job with your writing.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Palak Shah
12:48 Feb 07, 2021

Whoa; this was tense but amazing. Good job !! :))

Reply

Show 0 replies
Y M
11:26 Feb 01, 2021

That was definitely unique and interesting - fun to read then chilling at the end. I do agree with the POV comment, where it felt like Lev was the primary character, but it was still interesting to read nonetheless. I wonder if Lev will now go on a murder spree then pass the torch on to someone else in the same manner?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Vadasz Sara
23:58 Jan 29, 2021

This is exactly what the short story as a genre is about. Complete as it is.

Reply

Show 0 replies
19:57 Jan 29, 2021

You creeped me out. Good job!

Reply

Show 0 replies
18:25 Jan 29, 2021

Murder as a hobby. I have seen everything. But he does amke a point. I am now questioning humanity. I love this.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Jasey Lovegood
09:23 Mar 09, 2021

Hello there! I've seen you like some of my stories, so I decided to pop over and say hello! I think this was a very interesting story, as someone said in one of the earlier comments, I do get some Death Note vibes which is cool. My piece of feedback would be; [“Okay... as long as you stop pestering me after this” ] Add some punctuation after! I'm going to read your other stories, keep up the great work! :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
AntMan 🐜
15:35 Feb 23, 2021

This is a great story, especially when it's a new way! I liked the ending and the creativity used to put this story with the prompt. I never thought murder could be a hobby until I read this! Great job!

Reply

Show 0 replies
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.