This Race is a Zoo

The rain had been falling for days, turning the Seattle Zoo into a blur of gray and sorrow. A flamboyant Eagle perched on a not-so-high branch in her enclosure, her multi-colored feathers ruffled as she stared at the world outside. The patter of rain against the glass was a constant reminder of the storm brewing within her, and the zoo.

Alex is a transgender eagle that spent the first half of her eagle life as male fertilizing eggs of 12 different baby mamas’ producing 50 baby eaglets. She never actually went thru with the procedure and her bestie, Jordan, swears Alex is really a cross-dressing pansexual, and the real reason for the change in appearance had more to do with dodging child support than anything else. 

“You said nine. So I figured nine thirty, but ten, come on girl.” Jordon said to Alex

Ring Ring, “Ugh, this thing.”

“Two of big yellow ones and one small blue one, right?“

“Are you talking to me, wait, let me guess, your therapist?” asks Jordan.

 “No no, it’s the pharmacy; they changed my happy pellets again.”

 A cocktail of psyche drugs and a call from her therapist can keep her calm most days, but when things get super-heated, the only thing that can cool Alex’s feathers is Jordan. Her greatest pal Jordan that is, who just happens to be a non-binary owl. Most days, the two wing-clipped birds spent the days walking the aviary, quietly lamenting, as not offending the turkeys, but other days, not so quiet.

 “Even if we could still fly, the only bird anyone cares about in this town is a Seahawk” said Alex!

“Best believe” Jordan agrees!

“I got to cut this short today. I’m meeting up with the kids, all of the kids!”

“Still keeping the peace I see.”

“They’re killing me Jordan between the arguing and the money. Every time I turn around one of them needs money. I can hardly afford my pellets, but this fighting over the election is driving me nuts. Will you come with me, please?”

“I see ya girl, come on.”

Although Alex can’t afford all the kids she’s made, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love them. But their constant bickering has caused Alex some grey feathers lately as talks of the upcoming election ring loud.

The only good thing about the zoo’s new special Seahawk section is the eaglets have turned the old abandoned one into their new wreck-room, albeit divided. Alex tells Jordan. At least they communicate.

As they hop up, Yank is outside rearranging the letters on the sign that used to read “The Sea Nest” and hands his dad a giant letter S.

 “Don’t say I never gave you anything.” Yank

“The SeNate, only you Yank, only you” Alex

 As they enter the cacophony of voices rose and fell with heated debates. Alex's 50 eaglets were split between two factions, each side convinced of their righteousness. Similar to the rest of the zoo, this exhibit had become a battleground, a place where common ground seemed impossible.

"You're so blind to the facts!" shouted Kali, one of the blue-feathered eaglets, her face red with frustration while her blood bleeds blue.

"And you're so naïve!" retorted Tex, a staunch red-feathered eaglet, his eyes blazing with anger.

"All this chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter about Shmatta, shmatta, shmatta, I can't give it away on the Avenue", blue feathered Yank, interjected sarcastically. "This zoo's been wearing tatters, uh huh."

The mocking line cut through the argument, but only for a moment before the shouting resumed. Alex felt the weight of her family’s turmoil pressing down on her. Transitioning had been hard at times and child support was a real challenge, but nothing could have prepared her for the relentless battles within her own nest. The ideological divide was tearing the family apart, and she felt powerless to stop it.

 Jordan notices how stressed Alex is getting so she tries change the subject, “I’m always getting your babies mixed up?”

 Alex goes on to explain, “Kali was a die-hard pescatorian but since her acting career never took flight she’s now a scavenger like the most of her neighbors in tent city. Now Tex, he’s an avid member of the NRA. Financially he’s doing better than the rest but can be a bit of a hot head since he’s been brain washed by that right-winged radio. And Yank, he seems laid back, but don’t let him fool ya, he’s so left winged he flies in circles, and you sure wouldn’t want to bump into him walking down the street.”

“That Yank is on our side, but those far lefts can be extreme as the Reds.” Jordan

“Yeah”, Alex gives Jordan a look, “I try not to pick sides at least around the kids.”

Alex slides Kali a fifty on the low so the others don’t see. “Don’t tell”

“Hey dad, hear about those illegal groundhogs tunneling in the south gate?” Tex

“Yeah, sounds messy”, Alex is quick to change the subject, “Listen guys, I got a lot going on today. You guys should come to my group. It can’t hurt. Anyhow I got to fly”

“Don’t you wish dad” Yank, spreading his unclipped wings.

In the midst of the turmoil, Alex took on the responsibility of chairing a support group within the zoo. It was early May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and she felt a solemn duty to help other animals struggling with their mental health. She’s always willing to lend a wing, not to mention she’s the posterchild for pacifist and peacekeeping.

“Thanks for walking me home. Are you coming to the meeting tonight?” Alex

“I don’t know, I supposed to help Joe with his campaign. I don’t know how he runs this place. He can’t keep track of anything and every time I try to help he’s too tired.” Jordan

Joe aka Donkey Joe #46: The zoo’s Donkey and current president. In his better days Joe was once a capable of such a job, but now-a-days he struggles with simple tasks not to mention suffering from narcolepsy and Alzheimer’s.

“Yeah, I’m not sure all of us would need a support group, if it wasn’t for that darn election. I hate the fact Tex is helping the other guy but he’s my son so what can I do?” Alex

The other guy: DonE #45, DonE is the zoo’s elephant and he used to run the zoo before Joe. He’s a narcissistic and egomaniac not to mention a felon. Also he’s not only a candidate in the coming election but the only other candidate and he’s leading the polls.

“Can you believe, with the state of the zoo, we came up with these jokers?” Jordan

“They say, you can’t write crazier fiction than reality. I hope you’re ready to help if he wins.” Alex

“I think the only reason Joe picked me is because I check a lot of boxes.” Jordan

“I know right, well that and the fact you are an owl, you are the smartest “they/them” I know.” Alex

Joe is older than the Bible, actually his number 46, just one more than DonE, but in donkey years that equates to 736 years old and come to think about it he did have one line in the Book.

 The only thing larger than DonE’s ego is his ears. Don’t call him an African Elephant though, unless you want to go through this whole thing about how he was born in this zoo and has the paperwork. That always leads to the ordeal about 44, the guy before him. Don’t go there it’s not part of this story.

“I wouldn’t even work on this stupid campaign if I trusted Joe’s buddy Xi. You know he’d be happy if this zoo closed down permanently.” Jordan

“Please don’t say that aloud, you’ll manifest it! I agree about that Xi character. He’s shady.” Alex

 Donkey Joe, with his Eeyore-like demeanor, often found solace in his friend Xi Ching. Xi is a panda bear who resembled pooh bear and is visiting the zoo from the world wide animal program, a program that works similar to student transfer.

 Xi Ching provided a “deceptive” sense of calm and perspective amidst the chaos of the zoo. He was quick to buddy up with Joe but many animals question his loyalty.

In the middle of the election frenzy, the elephant rallies boom across the zoo. Stevie Wonder’s Suspicious Minds is heard jamming out of the aquarium. DonE promises to address the zoo’s southern border that’s been controlled by the fast moving Gonzalez Cartel. “We have to stop all burrowing critters by building a wall!”

The zoo’s support group meetings became the only sanctuary in mediis rebus. Animals from various enclosures attended, suffering from various forms of Zoochosis, sharing their stories of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Alex listened intently, offering words of comfort and understanding, despite grappling with her bipolar disorder.

The group only has one rule, absolutely no politics! Yet time and time again the meetings would get heated with quickness once either of the candidates is brought up often turning into full scale riots.

The persistent rainfall finally stops as a heatwave seems to slow things down.

 “Who turned up the heat, Are we in Washington state or Washington DC?” Jorda?

“I know, right. But the bizarre thing is while things outside are boiling; the climate in the zoo seems to be simmering down” Alex.

“Yeah, the meetings had been without strife lately and abnormally peaceful. What’s really going on?” Jordon

“And can you believe it’s been nearly a month without any kid controversy. Things are finally starting to clear up for me, bright sky’s ahead!” Alex

“Better watch what you say, act like a woodpecker, and peck on wood girl!” Jordan

Whether it was it was impeccable timing or verbal sabotage they seemed to speak clouds into existence. Shortly after the rain was back and with it a long lost face. Justin arrived at the support group. His presence stirred mixed emotions in Alex, reminding her of their shared past and the pain she had buried deep inside when he was shipped back to Canada and placed with another beaver mate. , Justin is an endangered Beaver.

"Why now?" Alex muttered to herself, her talons gripping her Birkenstocks tightly as she thought about Justin's return.

 “Aye, um… Hey Alex, remember when we were the only inter-species couple at the zoo, boy the times have changed“, says Justin.

 “I thought you were done with beavers.” mumbles Alex

 “What, what did you say?” asks Justin

 “Aw, are you done with school? Or did you ever finish school? Did you ever become a therapist?” Alex

  “No, but I did help work on a campaign while I was in Canada.” Justin

   “Oh yeah, what was it called?” Alex

    “I forget. It had something to do with elephants.” Justin

 “Elephants, please tell me it isn’t another extreme right wing thing!” Alex

 “No, no, not political at all, it has to do with mental health; ya know the interest we share. It’s a campaign designed to eliminate the stigma associated with mental health disorders.” Justin

 “Thank God, I thought I might have opened Pandora's Box. I have to be careful what I say around here, but shoo, yeah, that sounds great.” Alex

  “Don’t worry, I read the sign. Anyway I see your chairing this group. Good for you.

Yeah, good for you. Sorry for the distraction”, Justin replies as he wobbles toward the back of the room.

Alex thinks, was he just patronizing me? Whatever, at least that awkward situation is over. More importantly I dodged a bullet. I can’t believe how close I was to putting my talon in my beak.

“I can believe I, of all animals, almost brought up politics in a meeting” repeats in her head!

The days that followed were a blur of anxiety and dread as the pendulum seemed to swing back into madness as rain continues to fall. At home the eaglets' arguments grew louder and more volatile, but that didn’t compare to the Jerry Springer show that the support group became. Alex found it continuously harder to keep the peace in the nest let alone the zoo. Ultimately, the group had to postpone indefinitely due to uptick in violence that’s been occurring as the campaign grows closer.

Alex slips back into her depression and days pass without her leaving her nest, but that was about to change. Alex hears a familiar, “who who”, probably the only sound that could get out of her nest.

“Who, Who, shouldn’t I be the one asking that since your outside my door?” Alex

“You silly girl, stop watching that ZNN and come take a walk with me.” Jordan

“Ok, let me grab my cellphone and turn this election garbage off.” Alex

 “Is that Darth Vader’s Imperial March I hear?” Jordan

“Oh it must be Justin. I need to change that.” Alex

“You answer that girl; you know I’m just checking you straight?” Jordan

“I probably should, he’s been calling all week. I just don’t have it in me.” Alex

“Honey, you need to get out and shake that tail feather!” Jordan

“Ugh, But you know he’s one of those over the top red ones, right?” Alex

“Hey girl, they all crazy, but if you like it, I love it.” Jordan

“Hello… Coffee… sure why not” click Alex

 “Ooh you trifling girl, do your thing. I need to check on these turkeys anyhow, Oh and one more thing...” Jordan

“I know, I got beaver-envy, honey” Alex finishes their long running joke.

Justin didn’t change much in their time apart, but Alex is starting to think maybe she did. Even though he only brought up the election once during coffee, it was enough to make her question the past. Maybe the time apart was good; maybe it happened for a reason? She tells Justin that she will always cherish their past but, going forward they should just be friends. Although Justin has mixed feelings, deep down inside he knows she’s right. This meetup was overdue and much needed for both of them to move on. 

While reconciling with Justin was a much needed reprieve for Alex, inside the zoo, the arguments reached a crescendo. The dreaded presidential election loomed over the zoo, exacerbating the tensions. Out of all the animals in the zoo, how was it that these became the only choices. I have heard of win wins but lose lose, it makes no sense.

Today is the day that the Don Elephant aka DonE campaign rally comes to the Bird aviary. She’s not excited about the thing but told Tex and his red siblings she’d meet them there. The stage is set in red white and blue and “Hello,” by Lionel Ritchie plays over the PA.

DonE starts speaking, “Just because my birth certificate says made in the USA I’m not opposed to certain parts coming from Africa but not the ears!”

“Would you look at them ears”, even Tex takes a shot at his hero, “Do you think they’re real?”

 Which gave Alex the green light to follow suit, “yeah, they look ridiculous they can’t be real.”

DonE’s ears are crazy big and if not fake they definitely look it, but for some reason he seems to think they look good. He claims they’re so big he can hear concerns of the smallest critters even in the Insectarium, but in reality the only one he might listen to, sometimes, is his publicist Katie Kangaroo and her motto is “If you can't see, hear or feel something, it doesn't exist!”

“Peace through Strength. ...Fiscal Responsibility. ...Free Markets. .. “DonE spouts.

“What’s wrong dad?” Tex

“Just because we live in a conservation park, doesn’t mean we have to be so conservative. I’m going home.” Alex

 “Don’t forget Thursday is the debate. Everyone is meeting at The SeNate.” Tex

“Ugh, Debate sounds great, yeah I’ll be there.” Alex

Come the night of debate the whole zoo is watching. Tonight Joe will be on his own. He cannot delegate this to Jordan as much as he would like. He must stand on his own four legs. The stakes couldn’t be higher and Donkey Joe really drops the ball.

 “I hope the attendants didn’t arrive via the zoo train, because this thing was a train wreck at least for the blue line”, Freddy Fox reports on Fox News key takeaways.

“Joe is easily rattled and often confused. DonE jumps ahead in polls” Pete Peacock NPC.

Headline of the Seattle Zoo Times reads” The Blues sing the blues”, “Another night likes that and they’ll have to change their campaign song to BB King’s, The Thrill is gone.”

Around the SeNate, Alex’s kids don’t seem to be fighting. They seem more concerned about mom and the look on her face. Alex usually puts up a good front around the kids, but she’s finding it hard to do at the moment. Even the kids that are happy with the outlook hate to see Dad/Mom so upset. Tex doesn’t say anything just gives dad a big huge.

“I have noticed a lot more ground hogs as of late, so, maybe.” Kali

Even Yank ads, “Well things did cost a lot less before Joe took over.”

 This debate has even the blue feathers beginning to question if Joe can still handle this Job. The answer, an unequivocally No! This leaves Alex, and all she stands for, only one choice and that’s the Elephant in the room.

In the end, acceptance wasn't easy, and moving on felt like an insurmountable task. But Alex took the first step, not just for her eaglets, but for herself and the entire zoo. She knew the road ahead would be long and difficult, but for the first time in a long time, there was a glimmer of hope amidst the rain.