Killing Treasure

Hunger pulls me from my pleasant slumber. I open my eyes and stretch. I look up to see that the bed is empty and the bedroom door is open. It looks like Penelope is already awake. I walk out of the bedroom and enter the hallway to see a sight that makes my hair stand on end. The entire second floor is a mess!

Confetti, noisemakers, and wrapping papers litter every corner of the floor. A large green banner that reads “Happy New Year!” hangs over the banister like a wet towel. I look down to see a single slice of pie on a plate, with a red and blue candle in the center of it, near my bedroom door. It looks like the New Year’s celebration went well without me. Glad I wasn’t around to see any of it.

There are no signs of last night’s guests so, I walk downstairs and enter the living room. It is the only place in the house that looks relatively clean except for a few colored ribbons and empty glass bottles on the floor. A table with a red tablecloth stands against one of the walls, with the remains of yesterday’s food still on it. But leftovers are beneath me.

A whistling noise draws my attention to the couch in the middle of the room. I walk over to see my servant, Penelope, sleeping amongst the couch pillows. Penelope’s blond hair covers her face and a purple noise maker hangs out the side of her mouth. Every time she exhales, the noisemaker unfurls and makes a whistling noise. I look around the room and notice a broom and dustpan against the wall. Penelope must have fallen asleep while she was cleaning. I shake my head at her behavior. The house is a mess and she’s sleeping on the job. She’ll get an earful from me the moment she wakes up.

I turn to head to the kitchen to get some breakfast. Just then, I notice a blue line of light on the carpeted floor. I look up to see the forbidden door standing wide open. The door to HER room. It looks like Penelope forgot to lock the door on top of failing to finish her cleaning. I’m not allowed to enter that room. However, since the door is open, who would blame me if I walked inside? And this might be the only opportunity I have to complete my resolution for the new year. I look over at Penelope. She’ll probably be asleep for a while. My stomach grumbles again, reminding me of my previous goal. Forget breakfast. I tiptoe across the floor and slip inside the room.

It was the changes that struck me the moment I stepped inside. Images of bubbles, coral, and seaweed cover walls that were once cream-white. Bright blue strobe lights dotted the ceiling, giving the room an underwater atmosphere. Tall brown bookcases and tanks, full of water, line the walls of the room. The shelves contain cans of fish flakes, books, and glass figurines of fish. Various fishes of different shapes, sizes, and colors swim around in the many tanks. Why has my old room become a haven for accursed fishes!? I growl and continue into the room, towards my objective.

At the far end of the room is a silver stand with images of leaves and flowers painted on its surface. On top of the stand sits a large tank filled with water, plants, and colored stones. Hiding amongst the leaves and colored stones is my greatest rival from three years ago. Treasure.

~

I was born for greatness. Anyone who took one look at me could see that. In the shop where I used to live, people would come by every day to admire me. They called me things like beautiful, unique, and gorgeous. The owner of the shop referred to me as a Purebred. That name made me puff my chest with pride. Purebred had a lovely ring to it after all.

Hundreds of people came to see me, yet none of them were good enough to become my servants. Some of them were ugly, smelled terrible, or were too loud. I turned my nose at every single one of them and refused to come forward when they called me. Disappointed that they couldn’t meet my demands, all of them left the shop with their heads hung low. I only accepted the best and had no interest in people who couldn’t satisfy my needs. That was until Penelope came along.

She entered the store one fine day and began browsing the other shelves that held the less than perfect creatures. There was something about her that caught my attention and I wanted her to notice me. When Penelope arrived, I decided that I would play hard to get. Instead of running to the door like a desperate animal, I sat in the back of my enclosure and glanced at her when she approached. Penelope took one look at my perfect fur and gorgeous eyes and instantly knew that she was meant to serve me. She took me to her lavish home, gave me delicious meals, and cleaned me up. She also gave me something I never had before. The name Fussy.

Penelope was a very kind and loyal servant. She gave me colorful toys, and showered me with praises and treats every day. It was absolute paradise and I loved every moment of it! Best of all, she gave me all of her attention. All I had to do was call her or give her a gentle tap. If that didn’t work, then a small nip on the ankle usually did the trick. I knew that I had found happiness and enjoyed every moment of having Penelope wait on me hand and foot. Life was good and I was satisfied for the moment.

That is until SHE showed up.

One day, Penelope came home with an unusual present; a glass bowl filled with water and one purple fish. At first, I thought that this was another offering to me. Although I was put off by its meager size. I could eat the fish in one bite. When Penelope placed this fishbowl on the living room table, I decided to accept my present. I hopped onto the table and looked at the bowl. The fish was swimming around but not doing much else. Yet, Penelope watched it with an intense gaze that reminded me of how I watched the birds in the backyard.

I figured there was something more to this fish so, I moved in for a closer look. That’s when Penelope did something she had never done before. She shouted at me! I jumped up and glared at her. I couldn’t understand why she was yelling at me since I hadn’t done anything. Before I could say anything, she picked me up and carried me out of the living room.

She placed me on the ground and then went back to stare at the fish. I couldn’t believe this. Penelope had never yelled at me. Even after that time, I knocked a glass off the kitchen counter because it was sitting in my favorite spot. Or that one time I pulled the threads out of her favorite sweater. Penelope had sighed and called me troublesome but she never dared to raise her voice at me. Thinking that she must be mistaken, I returned to the living room only to be thrown out again.

“Stop it, Fussy,” Penelope said. “I know you like fish but Treasure is strictly off-limits.”

Treasure? And since was anything ever off-limits to me? I looked at her and told her I didn’t understand what she was saying.

“Fussy. We need to establish some ground rules right now. Treasure is a rare purple betta fish, and I cannot allow you to eat her since she cost a lot of money. She is going to be the first of my exotic fish collection. And I can’t have you eating my collection before it’s finished. So stay away from Treasure and don’t let me catch you trying to eat her.”

I told her that I didn’t give one whisker about her collection but she walked off before I finished talking. I left a hairball on her pillow so she would know how I felt about her conversation. However, that wasn’t my last bout with Treasure.

Treasure didn’t just take Penelope’s attention. She took all the time and love that should have been mine. Whenever Penelope was attending to Treasure, she refused to heed my requests for head and belly rubs. If I bit her ankle, she would stamp her foot and scare me off. I would always look up to see Treasure looking down at me from the safety of her glass bowl. Smiling at my pain and humiliation.

Even my lifestyle changed because of Treasure! To support Treasure’s lifestyle, cheap store brands that resembled garbage replaced my fancy meals. My private room within the living room was destroyed and reorganized to become Treasure’s room. Penelope even stopped bringing my daily offering of new toys! Worse yet, she always brought new friends to Treasure! Every week Penelope entered the house with bags and bowls of different fish. She would bring them into Treasure’s room and lock the door. She would put them in large tanks and stare at them. One time I entered the room and heard all of those fishes talking about me. When I tried to tell them off, Penelope kicked me out of the room and told me I wasn’t allowed to come back inside the room. However, I could still hear those stupid fishes talking about me. And I couldn’t take any more of it.

Whenever Penelope left the door to Treasure’s room open I would slip inside and head straight for Treasure. But Penelope always showed up before I could do anything to her. Even when she wasn’t anywhere near the room. I bet those cylinder objects Penelope placed on the ceiling of my old room have something to do with this. I think she called them cameras one time. Getting rid of Treasure was the resolution that I strove to complete every single year. Penelope was always around to stop me or the door to Treasure’s room was locked. When I saw that I couldn’t get to Treasure directly, I took an alternate route.

Whenever Penelope had to do something that involved Treasure, I would do my best to get in her way. I destroyed any bags that contained items for Treasure. I left hairballs by Treasure’s door every week. I’d sit in front of the door to Treasure’s room and remain there until she moved me outside the living room. I would trip Penelope up whenever she was carrying supplies into Treasure’s room and scratch at Treasure’s door every night.

I wanted to make life so miserable for Penelope that she would feel compelled to get rid of the fish. But Penelope stood her ground and refused to give in to my demands. She even started to fight back. Her praises became words of anger and she stopped buying me treats. On days when she was especially annoyed with me, she would lock me in her bathroom and keep me in there until she was ready to let me out again. And through it, all Treasure continued to laugh and mock me. As if she’s better than me.

~

Thinking about all those memories from long ago made my blood boil. I had a perfect life until Treasure showed up. And now after three long and painful years, this will be the year I have my revenge! I jump onto the stand and approach the Treasure’s tank. Treasure looks in my direction and flinches.

“Good morning Treasure,” I say. “Or should I say, breakfast?”

“Who let you in here!?” Treasure cries. “Guard! Guard! Remove this peasant from my presence!”

“Don’t bother. Penelope is fast asleep so that means that it is just you and me.”

           I raise my paw and place it on the glass. Treasure shakes and swims away from the glass.

           “Give it up,” Treasure says. “When Penelope sees that I’m missing you will become the prime suspect.”

           “Penelope may be mad for a while but she’ll get over it,” I reply. “After all, you’re just one out of the hundred fishes that she’s got.”

An acrylic lid covers the tank, but there is a small square hatch in the lid that I can use to get inside. I hop onto the tank lid and pull the hatch open with my teeth. I look inside to see Treasure swimming underneath the hatch.

“Get off my roof!” she yells. “I don’t allow disgusting peasants like you to touch what’s mine!”

“Make me,” I say as I plunge my paw into the water.

Cold! I shake my paw to clear the water away. Water is my second greatest enemy! Unless it’s in my drinking bowl. I hear laughter and look down to see Treasure rolling around in the water.

“You fool! You can’t handle a bit of water and you think you can take me on!?”

I growl at her.

“If you think that’s funny, you’re going to enjoy this!” I yell.

I raise my back, straighten my tail, squint my eyes, and roll my tongue back. My stomach gurgles and I feel something pass up my throat. I cough up the remains, of last night’s dinner of gravy and tuna, straight into her tank. Treasure screams and swims away in disgust as my dinner sinks to the bottom of the tank.

“You disgusting cat!” She screams. “How dare you desecrate my castle!”

Watching Treasure swim around in a panicked frenzy is very entertaining. A chuckle escapes me as I watch her and then the laughing fit takes over. I’m so busy laughing that I fail to notice Treasure until she leaps out and slaps me in the face with her tail. She laughs as she lands in the water and swims to the bottom.

That does it!

I reach inside the tank, wincing at the cold water, and reach for Treasure. She swims to the other side of the tank then comes back and head-butts my paw. How dare she! I take another swipe at her and she dodges me again. She swims to my paw and chomps on it! I hiss and pull my paw out of the water. Treasure flies into the air and I lose my balance. The hatch is too small for my whole body to fit through. However, my head makes it inside with no problem. Treasure bounces off my back and lands on top of the tank lid. I can hear her flopping around on the lid as she struggles to breathe.

“Help!” Treasure cries.

“Who’s number one now!?” I shout. “Not so smug now, are you?”

I would laugh but I’m in a worse predicament. Water is entering my nose and my head is stuck. I can’t get a grip on this slippery lid and I can’t find an angle to get my head out. I intended to get my revenge on Treasure. Not get myself killed! There’s only one thing left to do, yet I know the result will get me in a lot of trouble.

I summon the remainder of my strength and let out the loudest and longest yowl I could manage. I hear a thump and the sound of running footsteps. The door slams open and I see the wavering figure of Penelope.

“Oh no!” Penelope cries. “Fussy! Treasure!”

           She runs over to the tank and pulls the lid off the tank. I cry out and tell her to be gentle. My neck is very delicate.

Penelope plucks Treasure off the lid and places her back in the water. The moment her body hits the water Treasure perks up and swims around. Penelope sets me on the floor, removes the hatch lid, and pulls the entire tank lid off my head. Finally! I can breathe again.

I’m about to give Penelope my thanks until I notice that she’s glaring at me with the fury of one thousand suns. Her long hair sticks out to her side like tentacles and her eyes are full of anger.

“You are in so much trouble!” She says between gritted teeth.

Before I can explain myself she picks me up and carries me out of the room. I look over her shoulder and see Treasure snickering in her tank.

~

Penelope gave me a bath to wash away the fish smell and then locked me in her bedroom as punishment. She also said that it would be a month before I saw a new toy from her again. This is only a small price to pay for being able to complete my revenge against Treasure.