You don't belong here!

I didn't understand anything.

I was lying in bed. My family and friends were around me. Some cried, while others just looked at me with sad eyes. I looked at them and took my last breath.

I understood everything - I was dying.

***

- Calm down. Take a deep breath.

I was lying on the asphalt, surrounded by a crowd of onlookers. Before me stood a young woman with long brown hair and green eyes.

“How beautiful”

She wiped the sweat from her forehead and smiled at me.

- I thought we already lost you. But, thank God, you’re alive. This is a miracle.

"Am I alive?"

I still remembered that. I was still seeing the sad faces of my family and friends. I was still hearing them cry softly, pray for my soul. I was still feeling it, the death. Everything was vivid in my memory.

- Everything is good. You need to go to the hospital - my savior advised me with concern.

- The taxi has arrived, - she helped me to get up and sat me in the back seat of the car. I heard her speaking to a taxi driver.

The car started to move.

Then I remembered. I had already gone to the hospital. It was my friend's acquaintance, Dr. Henry Morgan. He examined me and concluded, that I had a concussion and something else, the name of which I did not remember. He also warned me that I might have blackouts and partial amnesia.

Now, trying to remember my past, I realized that, I could not. I couldn't remember my childhood. I couldn’t remember everything before the accident.

This is probably due to amnesia. In that case, there was no need for me to go to the hospital. I needed to go home.

- Stop - I called out to the driver, - Take me home.

The driver did not contradict me, and as soon as he found out my address, he immediately turned the car around.

***

- Get out of here!

I fell right in front of the taxi door.

- Did I do well, waiting for you? - the taxi driver smiled sarcastically and opened the door.

I sat down in silence.

- Where now? To another stranger’s house or maybe now to your real home?

- Go to the “Back to Stevensons” company.

The driver chuckled and pushed on the gas.

I was sitting in the back seat and could not understand, what was going on.

My house - which I bought many years ago, in which I have lived for so many years - has suddenly become foreign to me. Inside I found foreign things, photographs, people. They kicked me out, threatening to sue me for breaking into their house. Their.

- This is my house. You don't belong here! - shouted a healthy fellow.

What the heck?

I could not resist and hit the ceiling of the car. The driver said nothing. It helped me vent a bit of anger, but it didn't help me clear things up.

My memories were in mess. I was going crazy. I needed to talk to a friend.

I knew I would find him at work. Ronald Craigan, or just, Ronnie. He was my best friend. We started together at the large “Back to Stevensons” company and over the years have worked our way up to senior positions. Even the director, Steve Stevenson, was my friend. We went fishing together, our wives went to beauty salons together, and our children went to the same kindergarten.

- We've arrived. Should I wait for you?

- No. I work here!

- Ha! - he settled down comfortably in his seat.

***

I saw Ronnie in the waiting room and was surprised. How does he look so young? We were supposed to be about 50 now, and he looked 20, almost the same as he looked 30 years ago when we first started. Makeup? Plastic?

- Where the hell were you? Today is our first day with the company and you are late? - he cried at me.

- Listen, my head hurts. Let's go to your office! Need to talk.

I went to the elevator, but he did not follow me. I was very angry.

- You're going? - I shouted, - and what kind of masquerade is this? Why are you dressed like an intern?

Before he could answer, the elevator doors opened and Steve Stevenson, my boss, and my friend appeared.

I was delighted. Ronnie always liked to joke and was not serious, but Steve always behaved sensibly and could listen, help with good advice.

- Hey Steve. Thank God you're here! Need to talk.

I pushed him into the elevator and…

Bang!

Suddenly I got hit on the head and then I heard Steve's voice.

- Security! Security! I was attacked.

I barely got to my feet, leaning on the walls of the elevator.

- What the hell, Steve? Are you nuts?

I screamed and pounced on Steve. I could no longer contain my anger.

Two healthy fellows ran up with batons in their arms.

- Get out of here, bum! - they shouted to me, - You don't belong here!

Bum? I work here! I can fire you in an instant.

But I didn't have time to do anything.

Bang!

***

I came back from work. I worked as a cashier in a supermarket. I was tired and angry. I got fired. That's why I came earlier.

I immediately went to bed. I needed to lie down and rest, but as soon as I opened the door, my fatigue immediately disappeared.

I found my wife in bed with my friend, Ronnie.

She saw me and ran out of the room. But Ronnie was in no hurry. He stood up slowly and smiled at me.

- Why? - I uttered, barely holding back the rage seething in me, - For what?

- For what? It's because of you that I'm in this position. Shitty job for pennies, my wife left me. Do you remember that day? We found a great job and everything was good. But you, you suddenly went crazy and attacked the boss. They fired us. Then, that damn Stevenson, wouldn't let me find a good job. You ruined my life.

Suddenly he pulled out his pistol.

- Stop!

I didn't have time to stop him.

Bang!

***

- Well, not even five minutes have passed, and you are already here. I just didn't expect you to be pulled out feet first. Hahaha!

Through a severe headache, I heard the voice of a man. The voice belonged to the taxi driver, and I was sitting in the back seat of his car.

I know him? Why does he address me as if we know each other?

- Looks like you were hit hard. Have you lost your memory? - he asked.

Exactly!

I remembered that I went to the doctor. Her name was Dr. Maria Alvarez, an acquaintance of my wife. She said something about a strong blow to the head, a concussion, and something else, that I could not remember the name of. She also told me about possible partial amnesia and blackouts. In such cases, she advised contacting relatives, friends, wife. Wife. I need to go to her.

What was that vision? It was like a memory. But how could this have happened?

Ronnie and I were good friends. We went through a lot.

- Where are we going now? The driver asked.

- To the beauty salon "Effective Butterfly".

***

I was waiting in the car outside the beauty salon. Finally, everyone left for lunch, only my wife remained.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, a slender figure, and that adorable cute look. Today she seemed even prettier, even ... younger.

I walked in quickly and closed the door. I wanted to talk to her in private. I went up to her, fiddling with new scissors in my pocket, which I just recently bought as a present for her.

I noticed how frightened she looked, seeing me.

I remembered that dream. But was it a dream? It was too real, like memory. Is she sleeping with my friend? Otherwise, why would she be so scared of me? She's cheating on me.

- You are cheating on me? With Ronnie? Why? - I grabbed her by the shoulders. I looked into her eyes, in which I saw only fear and disgust.

- Did you love me at all?

She didn't answer. I let go of her and fell to my knees.

She punched me in the stomach and ran out of the salon. I ran after her. I wanted to explain myself. Talk.

- Help! Save me! - she screamed.

I wanted to stop her and talk, but I didn't have a chance.

Bang!

I felt a strong blow and passed out.

***

I was lying in bed. Everything was white around. White sheets, white clothes, white walls.

Two orderlies came into my room.

- Well, today is that day, the day you should have died. Come on - said a fat guy in a cap.

- You have been repeating the same thing for 30 years. You said that you would die this day, - said a thinner, fair-haired guy.

- We want to see it - a fat guy came up to me and grinned.

As soon as he approached me, I suddenly pulled out the baton, which was hung on his belt, and hit him in the head. The fat man fell. The thin one got scared and slipped. I ran up and hit him too.

I went out of the room and stopped in front of the nearest window. I was on the seventh floor.

- Exactly - I whispered and jumped, - I don't belong here!

***

- Are you okay? Do you remember me?

I saw a young woman with long brown hair and green eyes.

"How beautiful" flashed through my head.

- We already met this morning. I put you in a taxi and sent you to the hospital - she said.

I shook my head. I didn’t remember anything like that.

I remembered something else. I remembered how I spent my whole life in a psychiatric hospital. How I was constantly tortured, forced to take pills, and how it ended. Death? Am I dead or am I alive? Maybe they were right after all, and I'm crazy?

I grabbed my head and screamed.

- I should have gone with you, - said the woman with concern, - maybe that way, you would not have entered someone else's house, you would not have attacked people.

I didn't know what she was talking about.

- Tell me what you remember? - she asked softly.

She had kind eyes and a gentle voice.

I told her everything. Everything I remembered. I told her, that I had spent my whole life in this psychiatric hospital, for 30 years now and, I cannot hold on longer.

She listened to me with sad eyes.

- Everything will be fine! - she suddenly hugged me. For the first time in a long time, I felt warmth. I felt better.

- I'm sorry. I’m late - she said sadly, leaving the cell.

I did not understand.

I went to the door and watched her until she disappeared around the corner.

And then, I saw the doctors, my tormentors. They led a man, dressed all in white. I looked at him and our gazes met. He then looked into my eyes and screamed.

- You don't belong here!

The doctors took him away by force, but his words still echoed in my head.

You don't belong here! Here it is! I don't belong here! Enough torment for me! I've spent 30 years here.

Strangely, I found scissors in my pocket. Where did I get them from? Never mind. I don't belong here!

I brought the scissors to the veins of my left hand and opened them. Blood flowed. I did the same with the other hand. Then I sat down on the floor and began to watch my life flow away. This is the end?

Aaahh.

I stood in the room with scissors in my hands.

What was that? I just saw myself die. Here, in this cell. But now I'm alive again? Did I saw the future? - and then I understood - No, I remembered it. The future is the past.

I have repeated this over and over. I was afraid to forget.

And then I saw the scissors in my hand. I mustn’t forget this.

I took off my shirt and started cutting letters on my arm.

I cut, I wrote.

The future is the past!

Aaahhh.

I shouted, but I continued.

I saw the orderlies running towards me. They shouldn’t stop me. I stood up to the door of the cell, preventing them from entering.

I continued to write and scream in pain.

More people ran up, they were in police uniforms.

I kept writing.

Bang!

I was pushed out along with the bars and fell.

***

- Today is the day when he should have died? - asked a thin, fair-haired guy in the uniform of an orderly.

- Who? - answered his colleague, a fat guy in a cap.

- That psycho, who kept saying that he already died.

- He is crazy, man.

- Well, this one said, that he would die in an exact day and year and, he talked about today.

- Do you believe in it?

- Let's go visit him!

They went to the room of patient #108. Inside was a man of 40-50 years old. He looked at them and smiled.

The orderlies entered.

- I was expecting you! - said the psycho, and then suddenly grabbed the baton from the fat guy's belt and attacked the orderlies.

It was too late when they woke up.

The psycho was gone. He died, on that very day he predicted.

***

I saw an old man in front of me. But for some reason, he seemed so familiar to me.

- At first, I did not understand anything, then I thought that I understood everything, but I was wrong, - he looked at me intently, - The future is not the past. The future is In the past. It was always there.

- I do not understand anything. Who you are? Where are we? – I asked.

He smiled

- This is the place, where everyone goes after death.

- So, I died? Are you dead too?

- Right. We're both dead. But, you are different from me and also, you are me.

- I do not understand.

- This place is not subject to time. There is no time here. Look here, here are all, who died and all those, who will die. They are here - our grandfathers, great-grandfathers, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. For the dead, time is one. Because of this, there is you and me here. You do not understand? Everyone who dies ends up here. But, it just so happened, that you died twice. You had an accident and died, but you came to life. This is called clinical death. And then, you lived your life and died again. But the fact is that, when you died for the first time, you appeared here, and when you died the second time, I appeared.

- How can it be?

- It so happened, that after your first death, it was not you, who came back, you with memories of your past, but me, who has memories of your future. But enough about that. It's time for you to go back. You don't belong here.

Then he pushed me and I fell.

***

I opened my eyes and saw a young woman with long brown hair and green eyes.

- How beautiful - I said it aloud.

- Calm down. Take a deep breath - she said with a gentle voice.

I sighed, deeply and calmly, and then I looked around. I was lying on the asphalt, surrounded by a crowd of onlookers.

She wiped the sweat from her forehead and smiled at me.

- I thought we already lost you. But, thank God, you’re alive. This is a miracle.

- What's happening?

- Do you remember something?

I tried hard and finally, I remembered.

I was driving to work. Today was the first day in a new company. I didn’t want to be late so I increased the speed and didn’t notice the car on the left.

- I got in an accident - I answered honestly.

- Well, thank God, you remember everything. I was afraid that you might have a concussion or even memory loss. I am glad, but you still need to go to the hospital - my savior advised me with concern.

It's strange. She seemed so familiar to me. This situation seemed so familiar.

-    The taxi has arrived - she exclaimed and took me to the car.

I heard how she ordered the taxi driver to send me to the hospital.

- Stop! - I suddenly shouted for no reason.

I didn't know why.

She looked at me, and then silently opened the door and sat down next to me.

The car started moving. We sat in silence for a while, and then I looked at her and said:

- May I invite you to dinner?

She smiled at me and nodded.

-    So, you finally found your place, ha – said the taxi driver looking at me through the mirror. He was smiling strangely.

He was strange, but he was right. I felt like I found my place. I felt I was where I belonged.