Lucile’s Star

I heard her call to me from above. I store up at the sky, trying to pinpoint exactly which star it was. Eventually, I found it and she continued to speak to me. She had such a familiar, angelic voice. 

“Be careful, Danny.” She whispered, as if trying to warn me about something. 

Then suddenly, the scene changed, it wasn’t good, I wanted to wake up. 

I gasped awake, flipping the switch to my lamp. I turned my gaze over to my window first. It was closed, then my door; it was closed as well. My phone, where is my phone? I patted around my bed and lifted my pillow up but there was no phone in sight. I walked across my room towards my dresser, and noticed my phone laying on my dresser, when it was supposed to be on my night table. A sigh escaped my chapped lips and I pressed the home button on my phone noticing the time; 4:00 am. Damn… He is definitely asleep but it's important so he wouldn't mind. Or would he? I finally got the urge to press the call symbol above his name; above my boyfriend’s name. It rung three times and I placed my thumb over the end button before I heard the fatigue tone in his “Hello.” I then felt bad for waking him. 

“J, I know you were sleeping; I am sorry but this is sort of important.” There was a ruffling sound coming from Jerome's end. He was probably removing all his blankets so he could sit up. 

“Babe, hang on a sec. Let me get back to you.” Jerome hung up and I sighed once more, flopping back onto my bed. The only person I thought I could talk to about my nightmares, and about my dying father, just told me to ‘hang on a second?’ Woe is me for thinking I could get some comfort. 

Go down and get a drink. I rolled my eyes at Jerome's text and debated on whether I should go down or not. Now that I think about it I am thirsty so in the end I got up and descended down the stairs quietly so I didn't wake anyone. Just as I opened the fridge I felt arms wrap around me. I tried letting a scream out but it was muffled by a hand. 

“Danny, it's me calm down.” Jerome whispered in my ear. He released me and I turned around giving him an annoyed look he probably could not see. “Damn it J, you scared me. How did u get in here anyways?” I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and crossed my arms over my chest waiting for an explanation. “You sounded distressed so I thought it would be best if I came over to comfort you.” Suddenly I wasn’t so angry at Jerome any more. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs quietly.

When in my room he plopped himself on my bed and patted beside him for me to sit down and I did. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever, breathing, gazing around and staying in each other's grasp. 

“So Danny, what was your nightmare about?” Jerome ran his hand through my hair and waited patiently for me to answer. “I was running.” I began. 

“Running from what?” My mom is supposed to be the one I talk to about this stuff but I can’t. She wouldn’t understand, she wouldn't know what to say but Jerome always finds the right words. 

“Everyone and everything…pain…pressure…misery. I was running from the teachers that yelled at me to bring up my marks. I was running from the pressure of everyone counting on me to be the best in life. Then there was my dad hanging over the edge. I tried to pull him up but I wasn’t strong enough, so I ended up falling off the edge as well.” A tear glided down my face and I whipped it away quickly before it could get the chance to go anywhere else. My Dad will be gone soon and I just cannot handle it. I spent seventeen years with him and to now lose him because of stupid cancer. Jerome sat where he was quietly and stopped his hand from running through my hair. He was thinking of what he should tell me, thinking of the advice he should give me. “J, I don’t want to lose you either. I cannot stand to feel any more pain.” I lifted my head off his shoulders to look him in the eyes and he gave me a pitiful smile. 

“Danny, I want you to know that I am not going anywhere. I promise.” I nodded silently and rested my head back on his shoulder. “You want to know a secret?” This caused me to perk my head up a bit. I nodded once more and he unraveled himself from around me, standing up in front of my bed with his hand laying in front of me. Without hesitation I took his hand and stood up. He dragged me over to my window. “Whenever I am feeling sad or scared at night, I would get out of bed and walk to my back window and gaze up at the stars looking for the brightest one. Then when I found it I would wish all my problems away. But it would have to be out loud or there would be no point.” I remember Jerome telling me something about him going to his window every night but not because he wanted to wish his problems away. It was because he believed that his mom was the brightest star up there. After she died he got depressed and didn’t sleep for two months. One day I went to go see him and noticed that he was looking outside. I asked him what he was looking at and he said his mom. I turned to look at Jerome and smiled. 

“Thank you J, I think I can get some sleep now.” Jerome placed his hands on either sides of my face and kissed my forehead. “I got to get going, promise me you will wish upon a star when you get scared okay?” I nodded and shooed him out of my room before my mom wakes up and finds him here. I walked over to my other window on the other side to watch Jerome leave before I went back to sleep. He was not outside yet so I waited. Jerome lived right across the street from me so all he had to do was cross the street. Jerome finally appeared and he walked up towards the edge of the sidewalk before turning around to check if I was looking. It was hard to see him in the dark but I knew he held a grin. I waved my hand at him, earning a wave back before he turned around to cross. He crossed and right when he was halfway my whole world fell.

 Scream I told myself. Scream I told myself again, scream I said once more and this time I did. “JEROME!” I screamed from the top of my lungs. Seconds later I heard my mom barge my door wide open asking me what is wrong. “Call 9-1-1.” Was all I said to her before pushing past her and booking it out the front door. This can’t be happening. It happened too fast. This was not supposed to happen, this was my fault. Jerome laid still on the ground barely breathing in front of a Honda civic. “Jerome wake up.” I whispered. “Jerome wake up!” I yelled seconds after he did not respond. “Danielle!” My mom yelled from behind me but I didn’t look back, my eyes stayed locked on Jerome's still body. I wanted to touch him but it would only cause more damage if I moved him so I didn’t.

 “I am so sorry.” A tall blonde female stood to my left with fear in her eyes. She better be scared, she better be sorry. 

“You did this.” I stood up and got ready to tear out her soul but my mom pulled me away. My arms tried to break out of her grasp but they couldn’t. When I realized that that was not going to work, I began to cry. My mom held me close and I cried deeply into her shirt. 

The paramedics and police eventually showed up but I could not look at Jerome again because if I do then that will only make me sob even more. 

24 hours after the incident, that’s how long Jerome has been in surgery. I was at my window, staring at the stars. “Mrs. Lucile, (Jerome’s mom), I am scared. I can't lose Jerome too, I'm already nearing the edge please don't let this be my downfall. I want him to live; I want whatever pain I have to flee and most of all I want to stop feeling alone.” That was all I could think of to say, there was nothing I could do but wait. 

Minutes later, I felt my phone buzz and I lifted it up slowly noticing the two words that I yearned to see. 

I’m okay.