Speculative Funny Friendship

Kevin sits in the principal's office. The nurse is taking care of the bleeding cuts on his arms and face. A raccoon sits in a cage placed on a table in the corner of the room. Principal Greg, a man with greying black hair, looks at the student for an extended period of time.

Step 1: Create a tense atmosphere.

A reset game of chess sits on his desk. All day, Greg had been racking his brains on how the chess master aka the tiny librarian beat him. He didn't know her name and it was too late to ask anyway. 

"So what exactly was your plan?" Greg glances up from his chess match at the bleeding yet seemingly smug teenager.

"Nothing major." Kevin shrugs. "Why do you ask?"

The raccoon sits in the corner of the room, his eyes filled with sorrow. Greg hated animals, being in the same room with the fuzzy creature made him a little uncomfortable. He kept wondering if it would pick the lock and jump at him.

Step 2: Tell suspect, he is guilty.

"I know it's yours." Greg fiddles with the white's bishop. A chess piece already out of the game.

"What's mine?"

Greg points the bishop at the animal, "Him."

Quickly, Kevin replies, "How do you know it's not a her?"

"How do you know it's a her?"

"I'm not saying it's a her, I'm just wondering how you know that it's a him or a her." Kevin spells out for him. Like he's planned it before. Greg should be used to Kev's antics by now. The kid would be either a great detective or the perfect serial killer, and defend himself in court.

"You know, only a person who knows the gender of the animal, probably is the person who brought said animal into the compound." Kevin looks directly into his principle's eyes. Challenging him.

The nurse gets up after putting on the last bandage, "Alright Kevin, don't pick off your bandages. It'll heal soon. You know where to find me." He exits the room with his medical tools.

Kevin scoots his seat closer to the principal's desk. "How do I know that you're not accusing me to cover up something you did?"

"Now why would I do that?" Greg takes notice of the movement.

"You tell me." Kevin moves a dark pawn forward. "It's the perfect crime. You create a problem and finally get me in trouble for things you couldn't prove."

Greg moves a pawn out, Kevin continues, "Just cause it looks like I'm guilty, doesn't mean I am."

Don't pull up the Stacy Johnson case.

"You of all people should know that. I mean... didn't that girl, Stacy Johnson report you for some crime of the smexual nature?"

A flitter of anger appears in Greg's eyes.

Gotcha. Kevin thinks to himself, trying to suppress a smile.

Kevin knew his principal wasn't a predator, by the spy cam footage in the office for a prank that may or may not malfunctioned. Which Kevin may or may not have turned in the footage to the cops.

Unbeknownst to Kevin, Greg knew what he did. Although, the wound still hurts, Greg learnt to let people be cocky, that just makes them more prone to mistakes.

Kevin's queen takes one step.

Step 3: Negotiate.

"You've been in a lot of trouble lately." Principal Greg states, "How about if you admit to one of them, I'll forget the rest of them."

Greg moves out his knight.

"I haven't done anything." Kevin persists, moving his queen diagonally to the middle of the battlefield. "Nothing you can prove anyway."

He continues, "What about you just let me go back to class. I'm already missing... some class I'm sure."

"You have a triple free period." Greg tells him. The boy had been in this office so much times that he'd memorized Kevin's movements throughout the day.

"Ah yes." Kevin remembers. He pushes out his bishop. "Or do you just miss me when I'm gone?"

Greg cracks a little smile behind his hand he props up his chin with. "You're the one who keeps getting in trouble."

"And you keep thinking it's me." Kevin retorts.

"Who else could it be?" Greg blocks Kevin's queen by pushing out a pawn.

Kevin opens his mouth to say something, knowing that Greg would be intrigued.

"I forgot." He grins.

"You forgot or you just don't want to tell me?"

"Judge that yourself."

Kevin's bishop captures an unguarded pawn.

"What would it take for you to stop pulling pranks on the school?" Greg stares at the board, his expression is unreadable.

He captures Kevin's bishop with his knight.

Although he's trying to stay stone faced, Kevin cracks a smile.

"I want a paid vacation to Europe."


Kevin shrugs, "Ok."

Step 4: Bribery.

"What's your favourite snack?" Greg asks his opponent.

A little confused by the type of question, Kevin answers anyway, "Twin, milk chocolate. The yellow kind."

"What if you could have this chocolate for free." Greg lies back in his chair, his hand pinching his chin.

Everyday, Kevin would buy that specific type of chocolate from the cafeteria. He'd usually have one in his pocket or the wrapper at least.

"It's two dollars." Kevin raises his eyebrows, "That's not much of a bribe Gregory."

"Everyday till you graduate."

Kevin moves out a knight to back up his queen.

"You're just making me want to not graduate."

Greg leans forward and observes the board.

Kevin interrupts him, "You're looking for a mechanic right?"

Cautiously, Greg answers, "Yes..."

"I think you know my uncle, Arthur."

Kevin knew he was name dropping one of the best mechanics in the country.

"If we forget about this, I could get you a discount on anything you like."

Tempting, Greg thinks.

Step 5: Threaten the child.

A few moves later, the guys have been back and forth on the situation. A few pieces have left the board, however, they both managed to keep their queens.

"You're 18." Greg states, "And you know our laws. You could get arrested on just suspicion of illegal activity."

"And you know I've done nothing illegal. Unless you call coming to school early a crime. If so, then you're guilty too."

Step 6: Relax and enjoy the Checkmate.

One move Greg can make and check Kevin's king but the same goes for Kevin.

Both of them have made stupid moves and gotten rid of their queens.

It's down to the rooks (Team Kevin) versus the Knights (Team Greg).

Two moves.

They both lose one of their pieces.

The Rook is blocked by his own king and the Knight sits in an awkward position. they can both in a position to lose their pieces once more.

Even the raccoon is holding his breath.

Greg glances up at Kevin. His arm is propped on the table, and his bandaged hand is over his mouth as he stares down at the pieces.


Greg offers.

"Yea, Draw." Kevin sighs.

Greg start fixing pieces back on the board, and Kevin helps him. They glance at the clock.

Only 30 minutes had gone.

"Next game?" Kevin asks hopefully.

"Sure." Once the pieces are in order the guys start moving pawns out once again. "Kevin?"


"Where'd the raccoon go?"

The cage is empty.

And a hissing noise emerges behind Greg's chair.

July 11, 2021 23:56

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