Dare the Devil

Short Blurb:

Get to know Dare aka Lucifer, the not so scary god of underworld who got bored in hell so he decided to take a vacation in the human realm.

___

Dare's POV

"Damn, I'm bored. I feel like I wanna get tossed again all the way to hell from the gates of heaven."

The naked skanks around me giggled as if I said some funny things. Ugh, Dad didn't just tossed me, he tossed these stupid creatures with me.

But, It's okay, I understand. My intelligence is enough and can suffice for all of us here in hell.

"Go away sluts, I need some time alone."

All of them stood up in a second, they know better not to pissed me. I am Lucifer, I am damned and I ruled the hell, they won't do as stupid as pissing the devil.

When they all stood up I also mimic the same and walked in front of the large mirror, watching myself in naked glory. What's to be bored with my life? I have the prettiest face that even the heavens envied, I have the intelligence one has to die for, I am perfect in every way but waking up to all these everyday seems boring lately.

Aha! I know it!

Why not let my ass waltz on human realm and cause havoc like I always do?

I'm good in pissing off Dad. That will not be boring.

I hit the skull on the side and in less than a second, one of my disciples came running in front of me. A demon, with a horn between his eyes.

"You, ugly creature... Wait, I don't recognize you, are you new?" I asked him.

The demon bowed at me, " I'm here since your fall, Master."

Ah, right. It's just that he's so bad looking, the type that's so not worth remembering. At least hornedface is loyal.

"I see. What day is it in human realm?"

He peered at his planner, whoah this guy plans. Amazing.

"Sunday, Master."

Sunday. Nice day to pissed of Dad. I pulled a cloth to wrapped around my waist when I noticed a book along with the ugly unicorn demon's planner.

"What's that?"

He lifted the thing in his hands. "A book, Master."

"You are not funny ugly, I know it's a book! Didn't you remember that your intellect is not in the level of my high my intellect?" I looked up to the ceiling of hell, whinning. "Hey, Dad! You gave me idiots for servants! Can't I have your finest angels to scrub my foot and ass?"

But, there's no way Dad will answer. In fact our communication ended when he decided to toss me just because he had a new favorite son.

Scumbag.

"So what's in that book?"

He looked hesitant at first but since I glared at him he responded as fast as lightning, "It's human's book about gods and goddesses."

I laughed. Humans are idiots too. They're also good in pissing Dad for recognizing gods and goddesses. They're just mainly caretaker of some things yet human worshipped them.

I don't need a book to ease my boredom but I need a name.

"Give me a name from that book."

Ugly unicorn blinked fast. "M-master is what I heard right?"

So this unicorn isn't just ugly, he's also deaf and stupid. Uh, no one's better in hell at all things other than me.

"Yes idiot."

"Zeus..." he answered.

"Hmm, no. Another."

"Apollo."

"Sounds like polio, no."

"Poseidon."

I fixed a lock of my hair that fell to my forehead and lushed it back "Na-ah. Corny."

"Aries."

"That, I don't like the sound of it."

"Narcissus."

"No. Next."

"Achilles."

"Cool but no."

"Hermes."

"That sounded gay."

"Hades, it's the ruler of hell in Greek--"

I scoffed, " Ha! So they didn't just pissed Dad but also me. I am the ruler of hell!"

"... but master, what are you going to do with the name?"

"Why would I tell you, ugly?"

He bowed and apologized.

Good, that's good so I think I can tell him. "I need a name, idiot. I wanted to take a walk on human realm and cause chaos and make people sin, like I always do."

He looked at the planner he was holding again. "But master, there are still ten months before the day you can visit the world of humans."

"Fuck Dad and his sidekick angels, I can go to there anytime I want because I figured out a way out of hell." I figured it a long time ago but I wanted to stay here plus there was a time I went to human realm and an angel stole flames in hell.

Huh, he thought he can, bad for him I caught him in the act so I had him punished. He carried that flame for the rest of eternity. It's more of a power than a punishment, he cam summon flames of hell but other says it's cursed! And I've given him bright red for a hair color and that was instant salon-made hair but asshile wasn't thankful because he chose to repent!

Boring.

Didn't you know that I waited for that angel here. I heard he's fallen for such sin and I was ready to welcome him with open arms but bitch didn't enter the gates of hell and become a grim reaper instead.

Boo, such a shame. No fun at all.

"Name unicorn, name."

"...how about Dare? It's not a Greek name though, Master."

I snapped. "That sounded cool. Okay, I take it. Dare. Ah my name's great but I don't want people freaking out everytime they ask for my name. Why is my name, Lucifer, seems so bad to them? Maybe Dad spread false rumors about me."

"Maybe that's the case master," Unicorn responded.

I swatted him away. "Okay okay, go away now. You're so ugly it bothers me."

And he did, thankfully.

For now I need to find fun.

In human realm.

***

Party is great.

A lot of people commit sins.

Haha Dad look at your people!

I picked up a shot glass and continued to look around. For thousands of years I had a few quick visits in human realm so this isn't new to me.

I sipped on my scotch watching people pissed heavens. Good job humans, good job.

Suddenly the surroundings became quiet and everyone seemed to stop what they were doing. Uh, I knew it.

"Well hello there brother," I greeted the angel behind me. I don't need to turn just to know who it was.

"This isn't the right time to be here Lucifer."

In a blink, Raphael was in front of me. "Hello brother Raffy." I greeted mischievously again.

"Be serious Lucifer."

"I am, that's why I started with a greeting that you didn't even return. Boo, you're no fun brother. Bow-riiing." I laughed as I stared at the bow he had on his back. That was one funny pun but Raffy didn't laugh. Tsk.

"Go back to hell."

I poured another shot on ny glass. "Last time I checked, I don't listen to Dad, what makes you think I will listen to you brother?"

"Lucifer---"

"No fun, Raffy you still wanted to be Dad's apple of the eye? Good luck to that, now go away I need to drunk my ass with free booze here. Byeeee!"

He shot me a warning look before he disappeared and the loud ringing and banging of sounds returned once again. The people who froze from making sins resumed as if nothing happened.

One reason why I come all the way here is because their booze is weak. They won't let me see stars when dealing with headache or hangover, in other words I can have as much booze I want without getting drunk.

Sounds conventional.

"Hey, handsome."

I glanced at the woman sitting next to me at the bar counter. "Hey."

Slender waist, good rack but fake lips. Well, it isn't bad though.

"I'm Sophie."

I accepted her outstretched palm. "Lu-- Dare." Shit. I did almost say my true name. Good thing my tounge reflexes are really good.

"Oh, Dare. Haven't seen you around lately," she said, putting some strands of hair behind her ears as he crossed her legs in a sexy way.

"First time to be here." I responded.

"Really? Where are you from?"

I leaned towards her ear to whisper. "All the way from hell."

She laughed and slapped me lightly on the shoulder. "Haha. You're funny."

I secretly scoffed. Bitch I'm not joking.

"You think so?" I asked.

She nodded as her slender fingers crawled its way from my stomach towards the tie that I'm wearing, pulling it down so he could have me closer.

"That explains why you're hot. So, Dare... No one minds if I kiss you?"

"Yeah, no one."

She giggled and pulled me closer to nipped my ear. Human intercourse isn't bad though they're not as vigorously as succubi and other demons who were created for mere lust.

Still, humans can do it.

When the slut Sophie started kissing my neck, fingers started unbuttoning my shirt, I saw a woman in a white dress enter.

She has angel wings and fake halo.

Uh, I forgot this is a costume party that's why some people dressed up in fancy attire. There was even a guy who wore something ugly with horns, tail a d trident while screaming he is the devil.

Asshole! He's costume is way too ugly and disguting to be me plus I don't have a tail, and no corny trident! Oh shit humans had a false representation of what me, Lucifer, is actually like!

I was the most good looking in heaven, how much more in hell let alone a human realm? Damn.

But yeah, back to the lady angel... She looked so lost. She had a perfect curve on her lips that she used to frown.

Seems like she's looking for something or someone. I watched her sat on the counter, take a sip on her drink only to winced upon tasting it.

Oh fascinating. What's this little angel doing here? Plus I hate her costume. I was once in that white halo ang wings too but figured out white is boring ang black is the new sexy.

My train of thoughts were interrupted by a sound of zipper. So I looked down to where the slut in front of me was about to go down. I pulled her up by hair and pulled up my fly.

"Hold up, I changed my mind."

"What? I was about to give a head--"

"Got much head in hell that they all turned to skulls. Bye slut!" I drank the contents of the glass first before getting down on the stool I was sitting on and approached the woman in the angel costume.

"Hello angel."

She looked at me, surprised a bit.

Yeah, I knew my beauty's surprising.

"I'm Dare," I introduced myself first then grinned. She just stared at my hand and I realized she's crying. Oops, what made angel cry?

She drank from her glass and didn’t even look at me for another second. She didn't even accept my hand. That is bad, this angel is bad.

"So you're crying."

Her eyes passed me and when I followed it, she's looking at the guy across us, who was kissing a girl on the dancefloor.

Oh, so I came all the way from hell to witness this drama. Great.

"You know I can offer a kiss too if you want. You look so envious there sweetheart."

She let out a sigh. "Do me a favor and leave, please."

Okay that's surprising. She looks kind and all, but she's not. Definitely not an angel.

"You want me to leave when I offer you help, not good sweetheart."

"And stop calling me that."

I grinned and stood up behind her. "Tell me what do you desire sweetheart."

"Leave."

Stubborn.

"Who's the guy?"

She drink again. "None of your business."

"Do you want him dead?"

She was astounded because of what I've said. "What? No!"

"Or get embarrassed?"

She looked at me with a hint of curiosity. "Huh?"

"Let me guess, he cheated." Obviously. The guys kissing another girl, maybe sweetheart is his girl but he screwed another. Ah, I love sinners they're all welcome to hell!

"How about let him poured with a drink?"

"What--" She gasped when a waiter accidentally poured a drink on them so they're kissing scene was interrupted.

"What the fuck dude?!" The man shouted. I can hear them perfectly but angel cannot so I had to blew her ear just so she could hear them from this distance.

"What did you do?" she asked me, horrified.

"Shh, things are just getting interesting sweetheart. Wait for it."

Another man approached them and points to the woman whose kissing the man earlier. They weren't just kissing, I'm certain they had a good quickie over the side.

Sneaky.

"Hey! Aren't you the one with the STD? You're that girl!" exclaimed another man beside them.

The man was shocked, as was angel by my side. It must be devastating to know your guy's fucking an infected slut. Good fucking luck to their sex life.

"You're what?"

"Dude you're fucked up, my friend had sexual intercourse with her before and now he's sick!"

The guy's face was priceless. "What the hell?!"

Angel suddenly turned around to me. I smiled sweetly and blow a kiss in the air. "You're welcome sweetheart."

Her mouth gaped open as she put a finger in her ear, looking at me with disbelief. "Who are you?"

I offered my unaccepted hand to her one more time. "It's Dare. I told you a while ago, remember?"

My toothy grin didn't work, she still looked baffled and couldn't believe her eyes. She blinked at me, "How... can you do that? We're far away from them, the surroundings are noisy, I can't even hear those around me and they're far... but... W-what did you do?"

I shrugged. "Just blew your ear sweetheart."

"W-what are you?"

I gave her a menacing look. "I'm the devil sweetheart, I'm the only mighty, handsome, mischievous, and prankster devil."

***