51 comments

Drama Speculative Suspense

Day 99.


Rea counted them every day. One by one, and slowly by slowly, they went away. 


It was early January. Snow fell in sheets, dotting the world around her. The sun had already faded, leaving the sky with a bright flash of white. 


Rea pulled her coat tighter around her and pulled her muted green beanie low on her head, shielding her locks of copper from the harsh climate around her. She pushed on, walking through street after street, block after block, with no intended destination. 


Tomorrow she’d be here again and it would be 100 days. 100 days since that horrible day happened. It felt like eternity though. 


No trial date had been set yet. In fact, she hadn’t heard anything about this in a while. The news had been eerily quiet. Eerily quiet for 99 days.


Day 34 had been the day news broke about a murdered man in the woods. Lean, white male, mid 40s. Copper hair, brown eyes to match. Some might say he even resembled Rea. Blunt force trauma to the head. Tragic incident. Should've never happened. 


Day 67 had been the day she ran away. 17 and on the run. Her family still at home, her boyfriend still hoped she would call back, her friends wondered where she could’ve gone. 


Most people didn’t talk to Rea. She kept to herself, and people kept away from her, but really she was keeping away from everyone else on purpose. No one could suspect a thing. Just a normal girl doing normal things by herself.


Rea turned the corner and immediately stepped back before her foot hit the asphalt. A car zoomed past the stop sign and didn’t look twice. Her hair unraveled from within her coat and whipped across her face as she stumbled and ended up on her bottom. If Rea wasn’t paying attention she could’ve been killed. Like the man in the woods.


Out of breath from shock, she slowly got back on her feet and dusted the snow off her jeans. She readjusted her backpack on her shoulder and looked both ways down the street before she continued walking along the crosswalk.


Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and stared at the screen. Her boyfriend’s face lit up above the words ‘incoming call’ . A knot formed in her chest and her heart started to race. Even the sight of her old life made her regret running away. 


She pressed the red button and the screen went dark again. She stayed there staring at the blank screen until a car blew its horn and startled her. She looked up to see she’d stopped in the middle of the street and someone was impatiently waiting on her to move. She put her hand up and hurried across to the other side of the street, leaving snowy footprints trailing behind her. When the car zoomed past her, a woman in the car flipped her off with a gloved hand and pedaled the gas to speed off.


Rea knew separating herself from the ones she loved most was going to break their hearts, if it hadn’t already. But she needed to get away. She knew what she had done. She knew if she stayed there in that dreaded town she’d go crazy. If she stayed in that house with him another day she’d go insane. She knew if anyone found out, anyone at all, her life was done. 


She’d thought about going back many times. 99 days full of memories and missed moments. But it wasn’t her that was holding her back. It was the trial. The final judgement. The decision that would determine whether she’d live. The decision that would determine whether she could go back to her family and be happy again. 


She’d made so many promises. To her mom. Her little brother and sister. Her boyfriend. Her best friend. Her dog. So many promises. She’d never leave them. She was there whenever they needed her. If ever anyone was in trouble, she’d be the first to look for them. But who would look for her. Who had looked for her? No one. Because if they did she wouldn’t still be thousands of miles away in another state living alone. 


These thoughts flooded her mind, whispering over one another. There was another sound that trumped all the noise. A siren. More than one, screaming down the street. Rea whipped her head around to see two police cars speeding past the stop sign. 


This was it. The police had found her. Her life was over. Soon, they’d arrest her for homicide. Murder of a man who looked just like Rea. Murder of a man who happened to be Rea’s father.


She closed her eyes and braced herself for the sound of slamming car doors and policemen telling her to put her hands up. She played a scene in her mind where dozens of police officers, guns drawn, shot at her once she tried to run away. 


Wind rushed through her hair as they sped past her, sirens slowly fading down to a dull, distant racket. 


Not today.


They weren’t coming for her. They didn’t know what she did. And as long as she stayed hidden, they’d never know she’d killed her father. 


Judgement day would come for her even if the police didn’t. 


I hope they’re getting the crazy man who almost ran me over, Rea thought bitterly, and kept walking. Day 99 wasn’t the day, but soon another day could be.


She’d just have to keep walking. 

December 03, 2021 02:53

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51 comments

Laiba M
17:14 Apr 14, 2022

Hii Carla! I'm sorry, I've been off Reedsy and I just saw your comment asking for feedback on this story :) How are you? The story is amazing! I love the subtle suspense created throughout the story and how it paints a picture of the days she's gone through!! I love the ending as well :)~ Good job!!

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Cookie Carla🍪
13:50 Apr 19, 2022

Im good :DD And you? Thank youuuusss <33

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Laiba M
01:21 Apr 20, 2022

That's good to hearr!! And ofcc :)) I'm doing well! Busy with studying for finals though T-T Are you on spring break?

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Cookie Carla🍪
20:45 May 02, 2022

Nahh Spring Break was actually the week before you sent this message (sorry I missed it😭😭)

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Laiba M
01:24 May 18, 2022

Haha, no worries~~ How's school? :)

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Cookie Carla🍪
19:39 Aug 18, 2022

School's.... school🤷🏽‍♀️

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User_2443 0967
15:39 Jan 14, 2022

🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪 this is so good!

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Cookie Carla🍪
15:22 Jan 18, 2022

Thank youu!! <333

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Akshara P
08:13 Dec 25, 2021

Haven't heard from you in a while, everything okay? :)

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:45 Jan 03, 2022

Yep :) Everything's good

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Akshara P
05:27 Jan 04, 2022

I'm glad, I was worried... Upto anything lately?

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:23 Jan 04, 2022

Uhmm... I stopped writing part 2 to my story only because I need some more inspiration. That's pretty much it! You?

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Akshara P
17:04 Jan 04, 2022

I got you... Sometimes' I don't have the motivation to write either, but i just end up writing something that truly comes from my heart and makes no sense. :)

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Cookie Carla🍪
15:33 Jan 05, 2022

Right!! But I started back on it and I should be done by the end of the week. Fingers crossed by tomorrow

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Dhwani Jain
06:13 Dec 16, 2021

Carla!! Sorry it took me so long to get here and read this. This was so good. Off late, I have been interested in murder mysteries and the like, so this was a real gem in the same genre. I would really like to recommend this story to anyone who wants to get a kick-start into this 'world'. Definitely going in my library! hoping to hear from you soon!

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Cookie Carla🍪
17:55 Dec 16, 2021

Thank you so much, Dhwani💕 More is coming reallll soon. I'm currently working on a part 2 to my story "'Hop In', Says My Coffin". Its going alright so far hopefully I can get it out before next year😅

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Dhwani Jain
05:21 Dec 17, 2021

nice nice

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Jon Casper
17:05 Dec 13, 2021

Hiya Cookie Carla! You've done very well at showing Rea's turmoil over her fate. The daily drudgery of waiting and wondering when or if her past is going to catch up with her. Being so distracted that she almost gets run over, and blocks traffic. I could feel her loneliness and frustration, her relief when the police whiz past without stopping. I did find myself wondering about the murder trial. Maybe I misunderstood things, but to me there wouldn't be a trial without a defendant -- so does that mean someone else had been charged with the...

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Cookie Carla🍪
17:44 Dec 13, 2021

Thank you so much for the feedback and read!! Yes I intended for the police to convict someone else for the murder and she felt bad about someone else getting falsely murdered. Probably should've added that major detail :) I left it up to the reader to assume how she was getting by. I didn't really dwell on where she lived because the setting was basically in the middle of the street and she had no intended destination, just walking like she always does. And her phone was supposed to be an untraceable one, because of course, she's on the...

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Jon Casper
17:59 Dec 13, 2021

Hi again. Well I surely always welcome feedback on my latest work, so that I might have a chance to improve them before they are "locked in". If you're interested, that would be wonderful! :)

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Cookie Carla🍪
03:32 Dec 16, 2021

I gotcha :)

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Palak Shah
14:20 Dec 12, 2021

🍪 I love the story and your writing is great to read. I hope to read more of your work :)) Could you please read my latest story if possible? :)) Thanks :))

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:45 Dec 13, 2021

Thanks!! Thank yous! :) More coming soon XD I will! Np :D

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Francis Daisy
03:19 Dec 10, 2021

Really, no great words of wisdom or advice to offer. Your story is well paced. I love how you unfolded the story using the 99 days and didn't reveal until nearly the very end what the crime was and why she was walking. I was glued to the screen the entire time. I loved your descriptions, maybe you could describe the weather a little more so we have a feel of what this is like as she walks? Wet pavement? Cold wind on face? Near water? Big city with lots of traffic lights or stops signs? But then again...I like the bare bones feel of the story...

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:40 Dec 10, 2021

Thank you so much for the comment and read!! I might edit it because the picture of the weather and scene should match the tone of the story. I most def agree!! Again thank you so much for coming through and reading my story and commenting!! :)

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Francis Daisy
02:41 Dec 11, 2021

The pleasure was all mine. It's easy to read good writing! I am looking forward to reading more of your stories. :)F

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:45 Dec 13, 2021

More coming soon XD

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Akshara P
09:24 Dec 09, 2021

Okay, I want more...

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Cookie Carla🍪
18:08 Dec 09, 2021

More coming soon... :)

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Jace A. King👑
15:02 Dec 07, 2021

🍪

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Whitney Jones
14:23 Dec 03, 2021

And I Oop!! Your diction is quite uncanny(great word choice). The details you've used to describe Rea was done so well. It was subtle. Well done, Cookie.

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:40 Dec 03, 2021

Thank you :)

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Whitney Jones
21:49 Dec 03, 2021

No Prob😀

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TJ Squared
04:44 Dec 03, 2021

wow, very powerful story. The emotions of Rea felt so darn real, and they were displayed so professionally. I like how you gave us a slight picture at the beginning, and by the end, you eluded to the truth, that's a cool style, lots of showing not telling (which I appreciate). Very nice job <3

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:41 Dec 03, 2021

Thank you so much!! :)

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TJ Squared
15:48 Dec 03, 2021

Np :)

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15:40 Sep 04, 2023

Amazing!! Such a great story! The suspense was killing me, to coin a cliché. Question, questions! Why did she kill her father? Why did she run away from her family, because the police obviously don't suspect her, they haven't tried to arrest her and her boyfriend called her... But especially why did she kill her father? Soo interesting so much food for thought here!

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Lilly Blossom
23:37 Jan 04, 2022

Good story! Curious to hear what happens next :)

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Cookie Carla🍪
15:31 Jan 05, 2022

Thank youu!! <33

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Lilly Blossom
22:44 Jan 05, 2022

YW!

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Francis Daisy
03:20 Dec 10, 2021

Man! I felt so much pressure to comment just now! :) I meant to say, thank you for asking me to read your story. I am honored.

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:37 Dec 10, 2021

No problem :) Would you like to read any of your stories?

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Francis Daisy
02:38 Dec 11, 2021

Sure, you can come check out my latest random rant and tell me what you think! Thank you ever so much!

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:44 Dec 13, 2021

I will!! :)

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Francis Daisy
03:11 Dec 10, 2021

Four letter names: Madi, Tori, Emma ...just saying!

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:36 Dec 10, 2021

Ooo thank yous :D

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Marissa Reilly
12:36 Dec 03, 2021

This is amazing! I love how her emotions were portrayed so well, to the point where I could feel them! Wonderful story. I would love a sequel!

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Cookie Carla🍪
14:41 Dec 03, 2021

OMG that would be a great idea wouldn't it?! I should make a part 2!! Thank you :)

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Marissa Reilly
17:12 Dec 03, 2021

Yes!!! <3

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