123 comments

Sad Inspirational Christian

Like the glinting spoons left to rust in the dark of my garage, she lays on her bed inanimate and unmoving. Her crisp sheets envelop her in a sea of white, her eyes are closed; body perfectly placed.

This is how she wants to die.

The last four months have been an emotional rollercoaster of turmoil and distress.

95-a life well-lived, yet the inevitability so difficult to accept.

As I reach to caress her crape wrinkled face and to tell her once again that  'It's not your time yet,'. I swipe a glance at my reflection in the bureau's mirror. It lays against the right wall of the bedroom. It stands adjacent to the door on the left wall. That is where I stand, outside this door. Looking at my reflection; I see:

Neglect in the form of a mane of black hair stretching upwards in all directions. 

And I see…

 Under eyes haunted with dark prints like upside-down crescent-shaped moons.

“Mommy, is grandma okay?”

 I turn towards the voice and reply perfunctorily. I reply like I have been for days now--weary and burdened; with the weight of my troubles resting on my already weak shoulders. It's been 18 hours and 121.668 days since my Mother took her love away. Words roll off my tongue. They hold no meaning to me:

“Grandma is just fine, Honey”

I wish.

“Is Granny going to play with me today?”

“No Honey—not just yet” I bend down to match her height of 4 feet and truffle her curly-black hair the way she loves.

Her face is small and dark brown and her golden eyes look at me—really look at me. She says:

“Mommy, why’d you say Grandma’s fine if she can’t play?” 

Tears threaten and then Crystalline, clear drops spill over and meet the brown carpet as they say hello and then goodbye to their short existence.

A moment or two of deathly disturbing quiet. This quiet has called my house home. It is not the sacred and memorable silence that I once shared with my Mother. I desperately flail and jump amongst the frightful and savage current of the wind, attempting to grasp these minuscule pieces of silence, nonetheless, they slip, like wet soap from my grasp. 

Just like my Mother.

When there is no speaking you can sense the quiet as it creeps into you and aims to destroy your peace, traversing into your mind like a virus. We stand in this quiet, as we have for four months now. I wish for silence, but I know my shooting star will never come. This quiet is deafening.

I never knew, until after she woke, that the quiet was sorrow.

“M-mommy—you're lying!”

“ No Honey, don’t say that. Grandma is fine—she's swell! Go and play in your room, dinner’s in two hours."

I practically drag her up the stairs and push her into her room. I place a kiss on her forehead.

 “Honey—don’t you worry okay?”

 I will.

 I trudge down the staircase and into the corridor downstairs, my eyes travel into the occupied room—what greets them is the lifeless corpse of my mother—who lays like the dead on the bed.

“Yes, Grandmas just fine."

I sigh these words out loud, saying them to no one in particular.

Honey doesn't believe me; neither do I.

Amidst this quiet that envelopes me conventionally, the demons inside my head swarm. Their air is ominous and dark. They haunt and hover over me while I sit lugubriously by my Mother’s side, where butterflies and peachy-ness once resided four months ago. I have a bowl of red meat, rice and bean sauce that the doctor recommended taking up space on my lap.

--

"Red meat is a good source of protein and rice helps with weight gain. Beans are a good source of fibershe needs that".

We stood and talked in hushed tones outside my Mothers bedroom. He seemed so official, punctual, and unmoved by my turmoil.

"Good day" He said and I heard the click of the door as he left.

I leisurely slid down the wall, feeling the amounting friction against my back-awaiting the acquaintance of my behind to the floor.

--

The spoon reminds me of the set my Mother gave me four months ago. Those spoons were quiet; that’s the reason why I left them to rust in the garage.  

My gaze travels to the caliginous sky because I can’t bear the burden of looking directly at her. 

I fear that the impending doom will start to ripple like stones thrown into the water. One stone makes a splash, then another…

 All of these ripples are like seconds. They are gone and wasted like my Mother on her white bed of surrender.

She needs to eat, she’s emaciated. I need her to survive. She refuses. 

 

I plead, on my knees. She rejects, as she stares up and opened-eyed now, visioning the gaieties of heaven as it sits way into the atmosphere.

I cry, she refuses!

“ Mama, eat something. Eat something! Eat for me please. Mama, please!

              Please Mamma

                                    Please

                                              Please…”

She refuses. And I exclaim to the heavens,” Why me lord!

                             I’m broken.

          Torn.

                             Ripped.

                                                Gone…

I resemble a heap of green goo and liquid slime as it sits rejected and splattered in different parts on the floor of the brown carpet. I lay defeated, limbs spread and my revolting face planted against the material of the carpet. I feel and taste salty-wetness and I won’t admit what it may be as I try to convince myself that I don’t care.

                                            I don't care.

                                         I don’t care.

                                                         I don’t care.

                                                               I don’t care.

                                                      I don’t care.

                                                                     I. don’t. care.

------

“Mommy?”

            “ Mommy”

                                “MOMMY!”

I stir from my fitful slumber and my fingers reach to caress the imprints the carpet left on my brown skin. My eyes progressively travel upwards to meet the silhouette of Honey against the dimness of the house and the sign of dawn.

Honey--who is my suffering and uncertain child.

“Mommy, It’s dinner time”

She says it uncertainly, the way she has for four months now. She says it as she looks down at her feet, too uncomfortable to even look at me.

I know she blames herself.

It’s not her fault.

                   It’s not mine either.

“Honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t prepare dinner yet. I only have the leftovers from yesterday that I was…”

“Mommy, you were trying to feed grandma, right? Mommy I gave her food yesterday sh-she ate a lot. D-did you know that? I did it when you were gone--she even said a word.”

We both know that that's a hallucination. It could have been the wind that Honey heard or my voice that she must have mistaken for my mothers...

We know, but we hope.

 “ Mommy, is Grandma okay?” ” Don’t lie to me-- I know you l-lied to m-me”

Her voice trembles and each word is softer and more unintelligible.

This time I don’t lie to her. My arms are wide open; she comes into them. We let the salty liquid stream down while my Mother lays deep in a slumber that I can only imagine eternal.

Before I go, I force five spoon-fulls into my Mothers mouth. She acquiesces.

We eat dinner amidst the quiet as we remember how lively and loquacious my Mother used to be.

It started when she refused to get out of bed one morning and progressed into her not eating, not talking, not playing with Honey.

Her last words to me were, ‘Joselinea, It’s my time to go’.

The joys of living were non-existent from that day forward. Without my Mother to perform the actions that all Mothers are supposed to do, I am nothing. I am one grain of sand amongst the copious grains on the shore.

                           Nothing.

Dinner is over. I prepare for bed. I stand alone with the sink water running from the drain. I watch it as I think of how fun this chore used to be with my Mother by my side. That same wetness trails down my cheek. I watch as it blends with the water from the drain.

“I love you, Mama,” I say as I pass her door and go into mine.

I say a silent prayer for my Mother to get better. I hold hope tightly in my grasp knowing it just might be answered.

----

My eyes have to adjust to the surprising candescence of the room. I see a silhouette that is strikingly similar to my mothers sitting on the window seat.

I close my eyes, knowing that my hold on the rope of sanity was inevitably going to get looser.

I can’t help feeling fear for Honey. She'll have to grow up with a mentally and emotionally- unstable mother, but I’ll do my best. I would never leave her--I’ve already been left on my own.

I need Honey.

I open them once again. I ready myself for the darkness that’s more of a friend than a foe as of now.

I don’t see dark.

I see a striking yellow luminosity that burns and comforts my soul.

The curtains are open.

And...and is that?

Is that?

Is that who I think it is?

Is that my Mother?

----

Her first words to me were: " You were right. It wasn't my time”

They come out hoarse and raspy from her lack of speech. We sit in the radiant kitchen. All the windows are open and rays of the sun fall and cast slash patterns on the grey tiles.

So she heard me?

 Too frightened that I’d tarnish this moment, I keep my internal comment in the back of my brain for later pondering.

“I can’t explain why..”

“Don’t” Honey interjected, “Grandma I don’t want to know.”

“Okay, but I had a dream last night and... I…”

She coughed violently; they sent shivers of fear down my veins. She was so thin.

 Cough, Cough.

“ I-I had...”

“Mamma how bout you don’t tell us now? You are not well enough to speak” 

 We lead her to her bedroom, which is now laden with sheets decorated with floral print and color. No longer dim and jejune, the bedroom looks sublime.

We carefully lay her to bed. 

She eats.

She plays with Honey.

She sleeps.

She even wakes in the morning.

The next day I rummage my way into the garage. I know what I am searching for.

I find it!

 My heart skips a beat. 

I carry the dusty, leather box into the sun-lit kitchen.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine."

My voice heightens with each note I sing and my feet taps with each tremor of joy it brings.

I wipe the leather with a kitchen towel.

"You make me happy when skies are grey—"

This voice is not mine, but Honey's as she joins in, appearing into the kitchen. Timid as ever.

My feet tap to the melodic tune of our intertwined voices.

I open the container and find glinting, silver metal.

There still silver!

My heart skips a beat.

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you—"

Honey and I look in confounding astonishment to find my weak Mother singing in her raspy voice. We rush to support her as she stumbles and steady her into a kitchen chair. We sit and we sing the last verse.

"Please don't take my sunshine away."

I am going to polish my silver spoons--something I should have done four months ago. No longer would they occupy my garage.

This time, I acknowledge the tangent tears of mirth that trail down my cheeks.

May 01, 2021 01:58

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123 comments

Scott Skinner
04:53 May 02, 2021

lol "I am not sure about this story. I don't think it was good enough for this prompt." You're tripping! This was incredible. I'm impressed you were able to turn the prompt around so quickly - and it's beautifully written! I was reading this and seeing all kinds of things. I really liked the song at the end, if you were hoping the reader would feel a crescendo, it worked. I also liked the formatting that you used in those parts where it's just falling down and to the right - that's fun to read and interesting and I was down with it. Thi...

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11:08 May 02, 2021

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I never imagined that you would ever take the time to read a story from a peasant like me!. This means so much to me. Thank you a billion times! "I really liked the song at the end, if you were hoping the reader would feel a crescendo, it worked." Yes, that's EXACTLY what I was going for. Thank you for noticing😊 Okay, so at the point in the story where she said " I don't care", shes' saying it to calm herself down/ convince herself ( you were spot on!). Her mother won't eat and she's frus...

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KED KED
22:20 May 01, 2021

Oh wow. This was intensely emotional and beautifully wrought. The pace was haunting and melodic. You really captured their deep melancholy, and then their tender hopeful joy. Incredible job!!! This line is now stuck in my head while I continue to think on it... “ I never knew, until after she woke, that the quiet was sorrow.” Ugh, ouch. That’s powerful. Thank you for sharing this!! :)

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22:43 May 01, 2021

Thank you! I was emotional when I was writing 'Glinting Spoons' because it's based on my own personal experiences. I'm glad that the emotion showed through. I was writing from my heart(if that makes sense).

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KED KED
22:50 May 01, 2021

The personal stories seem to always hit the hardest. It definitely came through... Beautiful story :)

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23:24 May 01, 2021

Thank you for your kindness and lovely comments, they bring sunshine to my day:)

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Cole Lane
02:31 May 13, 2021

So much to take in here, I loved the expression and description of emotions, the light was fading until the last moment, when I thought her mom was in the room to say goodbye, but it turned around!! So well done!

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03:22 May 13, 2021

That's exactly what I was going for!!! Thank you for catching onto it!! Ruthy_May

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Jade Young
08:28 May 03, 2021

This is such a beautifully written story!!! I love the use of your descriptions, they were really powerful and evoked such sorrowful emotions within me. I could literally feel her pain and despair at the possibility of losing her mother. And the way you made use of those free falling lines to show her falling into despair, and the song lyrics at the end to lift the mood up again *chef's kiss*: absolutely perfect. I went through a range of emotions while reading this. Your pacing was perfect, the storyline heart-rendering and your description...

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18:03 May 03, 2021

Thank you so much!

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18:33 May 05, 2021

Lovely interplay with the three generations. I really like the kinetic typography -- how you indented and repeated the poignant lines. Like someone trying very hard to convince themselves of something they don't want to face. I love the grandmother/Honey singing. It made me smile. My grandmother sang the same song :) Just beautiful and heart warming... Now for English teacher stuff... Minor grammatical errors: “M-mommy--your lying!” (you're) "You make me happy when skies are grey-..." (use an em dash, not a hyphen, no ellipsis needed)...

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18:39 May 05, 2021

Thank you for the compliments and the 'English teacher stuff'. I will fix it right away! Editing is pain and grammar is not my strongest. Thank you for listening to my request and taking the time to comment. It means so much to me. I also learned some new terminology. 'You are my sunshine', is such a classic. I'm glad you liked it! Once again, thanks!

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18:43 May 05, 2021

I'm an old English teacher. Let me know if you have any questions. I'm literally paid to do this all day. Always glad to pass down the mystery of commas :)

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18:47 May 05, 2021

Oh, and I will hold you accountable on letting you know if I have questions. I'm an inexperienced neophyte, so I have a lot! I would love to know the mystery of commas!

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19:19 May 05, 2021

Google “commas until you cry” and work through the PowerPoint. Voila Comma mystery solved

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19:41 May 05, 2021

will do!

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Daniel R. Hayes
00:00 May 03, 2021

This story is incredible!! I think it fits the prompt perfectly, and you really did a great job bringing the emotions to light. That first sentence and paragraph really sucked me into the story and I had to read more and more. SO many great lines here but my favorite is: "When there is no speaking you can sense the quiet as it creeps into you and aims to destroy your peace, traversing into your mind like a virus." - This was amazing!! You did a great job writing this beautiful story. Keep up the fantastic work! :)

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00:57 May 03, 2021

Thank you. I LOVE the story you just posted! I was thinking of you when I was writing that line, I'm glad you liked it!

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Daniel R. Hayes
05:39 May 03, 2021

You're welcome :) Your story was amazingly beautiful and heartfelt, I really enjoyed it. Also, that is very sweet of you to say! THANK YOU for your wonderful comments on my story. I can't wait to see what you come up with next! ;)

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06:54 May 03, 2021

Same to you!!

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22:40 May 02, 2021

Seriously, this is amazing. You should be sure that this story is great and fits the prompt perfectly. This is so heartbreaking and sad but progressed into the beginning of hope. By the way, the "Book Thief" is one of my favorite books as well. I'm reading "The Nightingale" now, and it's pretty good. Historical fiction❤️❤️

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22:45 May 02, 2021

Yay! I love " The Book Theif"!! I have not read "The Nightingale", but I'm putting it on my list to read right now! I'm SURPRISED that you even took the time to read my bio!! I can't wait to start reading " The Nightingale"! Maybe we could start a mini-book club? It's just an idea, I don't want to come off as bothersome.

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12:38 May 03, 2021

:) Of course, I read your bio and this lovely story! You're a great author. Sure, we could start a mini-book club, but I'm not sure how that would work, exactly. If you have time, I would love it if you could check out my latest story :P

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17:24 May 03, 2021

I would love to!! I'm at school right now, but when I get home, that's the first thing I'll do!

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16:15 Jul 19, 2021

Hey Ruthy; how're you doing? I've been inactive for a while, so I just wanted to check in :P (now I'm active again)

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18:53 Jul 19, 2021

Yay!! I'm glad your back! I'm welll, thanks for checking in. How are you?

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Palak Shah
15:11 Aug 08, 2021

This was a beautiful story and I enjoyed reading it and it was awesome. Keep up the fantastic work :))

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20:58 Aug 09, 2021

Thank you, I truly appreciate your comments.

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Palak Shah
18:11 Aug 10, 2021

No worries Could you please read my latest story if possible. Thanks :))

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T.H. Sherlock
22:53 May 31, 2021

Wow! This is full of emotion and depth! Beautifully-written. There were a few small typos e.g. 'my Mothers mouth' should have a possessive apostrophe and there were a couple of extra spaces between quote marks and dialogue in some places. But nothing major that a spellcheck wouldn't pick up. Personally my favourite line was this one: 'I fear that the impending doom will start to ripple like stones thrown into the water. One stone makes a splash, then another… All of these ripples are like seconds. They are gone and wasted like my Mother...

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23:03 May 31, 2021

Thank you for your constructive criticism and for taking the time to read. I'll fix those errors on my copy. It always helps to have another pair of eyes. Sometimes as a writer, you don't notice typos, etc. With that said, I really appreciate your feedback! Thank you for your high praise. I was very emotional while writing Glinting Spoons. I'm glad the emotion showed through. So am I. I truly believe they deserved a happy ending. Thanks again! Sincerely, Ruthy_May

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23:23 May 31, 2021

By the way, is it possible that you could show me an example of a possessive apostrophe? I don't mean to be a bother.

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T.H. Sherlock
07:35 Jun 01, 2021

Absolutely! Not a bother at all. We tend to use an apostrophe when abbreviating ‘of’ and ‘is/has’ in modern English. For instance instead of writing out in full ‘the mouth of my mother’ we’d write ‘my mother’s mouth’ (with an apostrophe). You can apply the rule more broadly e.g. instead of saying: ‘she played on the guitar [of] Mary; she [is] very talented’, we can use apostrophes: ‘she played on Mary’s guitar; she’s very talented’. I’m not the best teacher for things like this so does that make sense? Just to be even more confusing there...

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10:25 Jun 01, 2021

Thank you for your help! Contrary to your belief, you explain possessive apostrophes well. I think I get the gist. I will defiantly apply this to my writings. Ruthy_May

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10:26 Jun 01, 2021

Thank you for your help! Contrary to your belief, you explain possessive apostrophes well. I think I get the gist. I will definitely apply this to my writings. Ruthy_May

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22:34 May 02, 2021

You say this is not good for the prompt? You are undermining yourself a LOT. A big amount XD but really, this was so amazing! The word choices were again, perfectly chosen and the emotion was raw in this story. The addition of the song at the end was so sweet too :D The ending too was AHHH so perfect and the title too was. Basically, long story short, I love every aspect of this story, start to finish :) ~ Amethyst

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22:40 May 02, 2021

Why are people kind to me? 😭😭😭😭😭 Once again, I am DEEPLY grateful for your support and generous comments. Thank you so much, truth be told, I thought they were an amenity of ways I went wrong with 'Glinting Spoons'. I am so glad, I have a BEATIFIC smile on my face right now. THANK you a thousand times.

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23:55 May 02, 2021

<3 because your stories are so brilliant ;) No problem!!! it was super fantastic to read; keep writing, you're amazingggg

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21:56 May 03, 2021

So are YOU

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23:19 May 03, 2021

ahhhh thank you <33

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Akshara P
12:30 Dec 27, 2021

Is that you in your pfp? If yes, you're gorgeous! :)

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03:58 Jan 03, 2022

Yes, that' s me. Thank you for your compliment:)

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Akshara P
05:19 Jan 03, 2022

Don't thank me! I'm just saying what's the truth. :) How have you been doing?

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06:07 Jan 03, 2022

I've been well thanks. Trying to start off the New year with a smile. I appreciate your comments. I've left one of mine of your most recent story. Now, how about yourself? How've you been?

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Akshara P
05:36 Jan 04, 2022

I've been fine. Mostly chilling, should *try* to finish a random story today but thinking I’ll just eat chocolate and watch TV instead haha, what about you? :)

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01:12 Jan 05, 2022

I'm good. Not ready to go back to school but I'll have to anyway. I'm enjoying the free time that I have right now. It kind of feels weird having so much time to myself.

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Akshara P
12:27 Dec 27, 2021

Oh my gosh! This was intensely emotional and beautifully wrought. I think it fits the prompt perfectly, and you really did a great job bringing the emotions to light. That first sentence and paragraph really sucked me into the story and I had to read more and more. This line is now stuck in my head, and you must know, it will stay for a while. :) “I never knew, until after she woke, that the quiet was sorrow.” Too powerful! Thank you for sharing this. :)

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03:54 Jan 03, 2022

Thank you for your wonderful comments. I'm glad my words resonated with you. Thank you for reading!

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Philia S
11:55 Nov 19, 2021

Hey. I miss your writing.

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06:12 Jan 03, 2022

I've got a bad case of writer's block, so I haven't been very active at all. I feel as if a collab will do me good. Care to take up on my request? My email is in my bio. we could talk there.

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Philia S
14:20 Jan 03, 2022

Yep, I'd love to! Or maybe I could create a doc and add your mail? We could coordinate and talk like on a chatting platform of sorts.

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03:39 Jan 04, 2022

Yup that'd be great! Let me know when you've done it. I look forward to our collab!!

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Angel {Readsy}
19:28 Oct 24, 2021

Please comment my story thank you

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Angel {Readsy}
19:28 Oct 24, 2021

It is a magnificent story highly impressive

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Aw, this is gorgeoussssssssss, your word choice is spot-on and you captured the emotions really well 🥺 The end is perfect, and I love the silver spoons concept matching back to the title ;D Awesome job!

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Sia S
06:08 Jul 20, 2021

Chiaroscuro, Pt. 9!

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01:01 Jul 21, 2021

Yay!

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Sia S
03:38 Jul 21, 2021

Hehe

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meep

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00:48 Jul 20, 2021

Hewo. I know, I deleted my newest story *crys internally* I wasn' t satisfyed with it. I' m so sorry!!

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Oop no it’s fine post what you feel’s right (oR sHoUld I sAy “write” hEhEhE) lol~ (On another note, new story out XD)

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00:59 Jul 21, 2021

Will read ASAP!

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Thank you! :D

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𝔻okenai *
10:41 Jul 19, 2021

Hi there!! I'm Doki, I found you from SilverSerpent and Rachel... and I am in LOOOOOOOVE with this story❤️ Idk what kind of magic ur working here, but I think that you somehow made your story even better than the prompt, and that's saying something! And OMG your VOCAB. Teach me ur wayssssss Just nitpicking here: - “No Honey—not just yet” I bend down to match her height of 4 feet and truffle her curly-black hair the way she loves. -- It should be ruffle instead of truffle, unless you would like it to mean an underground fungus xD - In ...

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19:15 Jul 19, 2021

Hey Doki, I'm glad you've found me. Thank you for your coonstructive critisism and critiqes. Editing is not one of my strengths, so I am sincerely thankful to you. In addition, Thank you for your generous comments and tips on veresmiltude:) "And OMG your VOCAB. Teach me ur wayssssss" I keep a document of new and interesting words I encounter over the years. Be it here on reedsy, or in books. My tip to you is to read historical fiction books, or just higher level books in general that aline with your interests.I find that they often have...

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𝔻okenai *
03:21 Jul 20, 2021

Hi again! I'm super glad I found you too, I really enjoy your stories! Yeah, I also keep a 'vocab list' (as I call it) but I find it hard to encounter these words through books, even though I do love to read a lot. Anyway, thanks for giving me a tip on finding these words in historical fiction books. Could you give me any recommendations? I just recently read Little Women (idk if it counts tho), and I found it really nice. If you can't think of any in specific, it's fine, I also get stuck on the 'which books do you like' question a lot xD...

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00:55 Jul 21, 2021

Hello! I'd be happy to give you book recomendations: -The age of innocence -Wuthering heights -Anna Karenina -War and peace -Pride and prejudice(books by Jane Austen in general) -All the light we cannot see -Farenheight 451(classic novel) I can't think of the others I've read as of now. I also come across cool words in modern fiction. Hmm, I also get stuck on that question It's possible to not have a favorite, so don' t worry about it. -Ruthy

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𝔻okenai *
02:11 Jul 21, 2021

Ooh ok! Thx so much! I'll try to find some of them at the library

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Sia S
05:44 Jul 15, 2021

Chiaroscuro Pt 8!

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