You have no idea what you are getting into

[Indirect mentions of SA, DA and drink spiking]

HER

I am no saint, but no one really is. Some people are less evil, some people are more evil. I have done things I am not proud of, and will have to live with the consequences once they come. I do, however, refuse to feel guilt for what I have done. There are reasons behind my actions, and no one will convince me they are not for “the greater good”. I am writing here in my diary, to be able to get it off my chest, as I cannot speak to anyone about it. I wish I could scream it from the top of my lungs but I can’t. If the secret comes out, it probably will be huge. The local media are already talking about it and when they catch whoever did it… it will be loud. In my mind I am a hero but in people’s eyes I will not be. If anyone is reading this (probably after I have been caught) know this: I REFUSE to feel bad about it. I meant what I did every time.

My heart is pounding with excitement, but I close my notebook and rest my head on the wall behind me. I’ve been doing my assignments for over a year already, but even thinking about them makes my heart race. It gives me rush, flushes my cheeks and keeps me motivated to keep going. I love everything about it. I look at the time on my watch and get off the bed. Time for my “double” shift at the bar.

I put on one of my tightest blouses with low cleavage, comfortable jeans and tie my hair in half up half down style. Touch of lipstick, mascara, shoes and I am ready to go. As I walk out of the house, I feel the cold breeze tickle my skin and I shiver - I hate cold. As fast as I can, I lock the door and rush to the car. 

When I arrive at the bar, there are quite a few customers in already, even though it is only 5pm. I drop my bag off at my locker and wash my hands, before I walk out to the main room. The music isn’t very loud yet, thankfully, the outside daylight is still shining through, ruining the “night out” vibe, and people are divided between drinking coffees or beers, no spirits in their hands just yet. I make small talk with the colleague I am taking over from before they leave, and I make my way to the right side of the bar to check if all fruits and garnishes are restocked and ready for the night. For those who never worked at a bar: they never are after a day shift.

I slice lemons and oranges, moving on to the limes, when I hear the sound of a metal knocking gently on the polish wooden bar. I look up and immediately smile. My partner in crime is here. She is the most gorgeous woman I have ever met. Has long, curly, black hair, bright blue eyes and a smile I could not stop thinking about. I pour her a whiskey on the rocks and without a word, let her casually look around for the first 10 minutes.

“Is your cockroach here already?” I ask and she shakes her head. 

“I don’t expect him here so early,” she replies with a soft sight. “Besides, I wanted to give you some attention before I see him.”

I smile and roll my eyes. “Lizzy, keep your flirting skills for the boys, I know what a sneaky little snake you are.” She laughs at my joke but doesn’t reply. “How did you meet this one?”

She grabs her glass and swirls it around, watching the almost melted ice cubes float in circles. “I accidentally bumped into him at the grocery store. Very conveniently wearing one of my cutest dresses. We have been chatting on my fake phone for a week now.”

“And he is definitely the one that did it?” I almost whisper, leaning closer towards her face.

“Yes, Polly, he did do all of those unspeakable things to that girl a year ago.” She whispers back and I can smell the whiskey coming from her breath. “Then his rich daddy hired a lawyer, paid off some of the important people, and the cockroach is enjoying his life…” she puts the glass down and straightens back in her chair “… not for long though”

We make small talk as the time goes, in between me serving customers, until about 6pm when the cockroach walks in. He is a tall man, with brown, messy hair, sharp jaw line and dressed nicely in some expensive clothes. I can’t tell you what brand they are, because I know nothing about it, but the way he wears them with cockiness, I can tell he spent money. His dad’s money I remind myself and continue wiping the already clean bar, trying to make myself look busy. Liz gets up from her chair, greets him with a kiss on the cheek and sits back down, in front of me.

They order a round of drinks, and she starts to work her magic. They spend hours on chatting and laughing, although I know Liz is faking it. She always does. When the clock strikes 9pm, and her date is pretty tipsy, they order the next round of drinks. I make them and turn my back to the camera to grab the lemon off the cutting board, with the pill between it and my finger and I drop it in his drink. When he starts talking incoherently, Liz grabs his arm and quietly walks him out of the bar. I wait a few minutes, before I ask my colleague to look after the bar as I need a quick break, and leave as well.

I find them in a back alley, the cockroach sitting sloppily on the floor, resting his back and head on the wall, and Liz standing above him, looking at her phone. As soon as I walk up to them, she looks up.

“I spoke to his victim, the girl was still so upset about what happened” she whispers, with anger in her eyes. “This piece of… He took something away from her she will never get back. He deserves what is coming his way.”

I don’t reply, but nod in agreement. I look at the guy’s face and feel disgusted, that he not only felt it was okay to do what he did, but also decided consequences are not for him to handle. My stomach feels tight, something heavy like rocks growing inside it. I am not sure if it is from nerves, stress, disgust or excitement from what is coming. It is Liz’s time to deal with the man and I need to get back to work soon enough. I help her tie his hands and feet, put him in the boot of the rented car and turn to Liz.

“He should have admitted and faced the punishment.” I hear Liz say, as she slowly walks towards the driver’s door. She isn’t looking at me, and I am not sure if she is talking to herself or me. “He is a gross, creepy cockroach who has done something horrible and he needs to pay. The smug smile he had on his face when the case was dismissed, knowing he got away with it…” I see her shake her head in the streetlight falling on her from above.

“Well, he didn’t. They don’t anymore” I whisper back and walk into the bar.

HIM

I can feel the headache getting worse, as the shouts don’t end. Mr. Robertson came to report his son’s missing, but ever since we took all the information and said we will look into it, he has been shouting at various officers. He wanted the whole station up at this moment and searching for his son. We tried explaining to him that we will not be able to find him within the next hour, so when he kept shouting, we threw him out threatening with a ticket. I spin around in my chair, to look at the cork board again, but feel hopeless. Missing men keep being added to it, but no more clues have been discovered. I feel like a complete idiot. Ryder Robertson’s picture have now been added to the right side of the board, alongside Henry’s, Lewis’, Christian’s and Jake’s. All of these men, various ages, occupations and lives, have been missing, and it was my job to find them. I hear someone walking up to my desk and I turn, to see my partner Jessie.

“I could put an egg on your head and would be able to fry it within a minute.” He says and smiles at his joke, but I don’t smile back. I am too tense. “Hey, I know it is hard, but with a new victim, there is a possibility for potential clues.”

I nod without saying anything and turn back to the board.

“Maybe walk me through what connects these men. Sometimes speaking things out loud helps to see things that could have been missed.”

I sigh but agree, for the sake of not having any other ideas.

“Henry, aged 54, went missing in April 2023. In February 2023, he was found not guilty for domestic violence on his wife. Lewis, aged 22, missing in July 2023, there was an old report to the police about attacking his ex girlfriend, but she came back to retract the report, saying they just argued and she was okay. Chris went missing only a week after Lewis, they are the same age, I don’t however have anything that links him to the rest of the guys, so maybe he is not part of it. Jake, aged 32, went missing in December 2023, only 3 months after his lawyer argued that 5 women that came forward from his company about inappropriate behaviour towards them were unstable emotionally and had a vendetta against him, so the case was dismissed. And now we have Ryder, who a year ago assaulted a girl, but somehow the DNA samples the doctors collected, disappeared right before the trial. All of them have been seen with a woman at a bar the night before they went missing.”

“So… the only thing that connects these men are vile actions against women. What if the women did it?”

I laugh and roll my eyes.

“Yes, because the experienced detective didn’t think of that. I will check with the girl from Ryder’s case, but all others have rock stone alibis.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose with my fingers and rub it, trying to get rid of the headache. Soon enough this case will be assigned to someone else, since I can’t seem to get any leads, and this would be an absolute nightmare for a young, ambitious detective like me. I needed to get at least something to keep me going.

“I think you need a drink.” Jessie says and I look at him from under my eyebrows. “When we’re done tonight, we are going out. And…” he says quickly raising his finger to stop me from interrupting. “I will not take no for an answer.”

So here I am now, at the bar, sipping my beer and listening to Jessie vent about the argument with his girlfriend. I politely nod, but only listen to every third word, because the focus is escaping me too quickly. I love him like a brother, but help me god with how much he talks. I look around the bar, trying to look casual, but the moment my eyes land on her, there is nothing casual about me. She walks in with her long, strawberry blond hair, gorgeous black dress and boots heeled so high I am surprised she isn’t falling every second step. But she has this confident aura about her, she has her head held high like she owns this bar and I am mesmerized. Jessie notices that, because he stops talking and nudges me with his elbow.

“Go, speak to her.” He says with a smirk. “Undust your flirting techniques, wipe the cobwebs and go.” 

And so I do. I get up, still holding my drink, and sit down next to her at the bar.

“Do you mind if I sit next to you?” I ask and she turns, looking at me with big brown eyes.

She smiles. “Of course not.” She answers softly. “My name is Polly.”

“Alex” I say and shake her hand. “Let me buy you a drink, Polly, if that’s okay?”