It was detective Justin’s first day on the job. He was dripping sweat because he was so nervous. He couldn’t mess this up; it was his only chance to prove to his family that leaving the family grocery store was a good idea. They did not approve of him becoming a detective but it was his dream to help people. He was just assigned his first case about a girl kidnapped and murdered. The caption of the station was very clear that this case needed to be solved quickly. It could turn into a serial killer quickly and there was no time to waste.
The girl's name was Emma Booth. She had no history of anything illegal. She was in her mid-twenties and went to a small town college in Pennsylvania. He started off with searching her apartment it seemed she was just a regular girl studying for tests. You could tell she wasn’t the most popular. They contacted the school to see if anyone had not gotten along with her but the principal said she didn’t really have many friends and she was more interested in getting good grades. She had two friends Sarah and Callie. They were both questioned, they seemed more devastated then guilty they were released from questioning.
Sarah and Callie said she didn’t have a boyfriend. When they searched the phone though there was a number with the name Babe❤️🥰 they got in contact with him and questioned him. He told them they were secretly dating because she said she didn’t wanna ruin his reputation. The boyfriend was very anxious and quite suspicious but it seemed he was telling the truth four hours later he was released. They only had one more suspect.
A couple years ago her boyfriend Tod's twin brother asked Emma out. He was rejected because she said she had to focus on school. When Tod and Emma were dating though he got jealous. They brought him in his name was Teddy. He seemed angry at his brother. He was so far the main suspect they searched his and his brothers house and found a weapon buried in the backyard. Duck tape was even found in the trash can with blood on it. They compiled lots of evidence to go to court.
It was clear that Teddy was the killer. He had a motive, he was jealous of his brother. The weapon and tools were found in the household. All signs pointed to him inc out the was convicted to life in murder due to it being so elaborate and agonizing. Detective Justin didn’t have a good gut feeling though.
Weeks later another body was found in the same manner of how Emma was killed. This time it was her best friend Sarah. They tried to find a connection. The only thing was Tod and Callie. But both were clearly not a murder. Callie was devastated and felt that she didn’t do enough to stop her best friend from dying. It wasn’t her fault though. Callie was not the murderer, the only person was Tod. But he didn’t really know Sarah since him and Emma were a secret relationship. detective Justin was stumped and the captain was not happy.
They questioned everyone trying to find a reason that connected the two murders. But they forgot one thing where the weapon was found. Teddy and Tod lived together so Tod could have easy access to them. But what was the motive there was no reason to kill Sarah. Tod didn’t even know her. The only reasoning was that she was just close to Emma. But there was no reason to kill Emma in the first place. He loved her. It was unclear the motive.
Three days later another body found it was Callie. They still had no motive. They questioned Tod and each time got nothing useful. They attempted to bring him to court but the judge ruled there was not enough evidence. Everyone was confused and the captain grew angrier at him. She gave him strict orders and he was falling. She had no other choice then to bring in the FBI; they had no better idea then Justin. They could only bring Tod in under speculation. But the judge already ruled not enough evidence. They spent days and nights working trying to figure it out. Everyone wanted to rule this an unknown killer and leave it till another body was found.
Detective Justin couldn’t do that. Leave a murder in the streets. He couldn’t just wait for someone else to die. They asked Teddy if he knew of any reason Tod would be mad at Emma. He said no they loved each other, he was gonna propose. Justin was confused and thought it couldn’t be him. They decided to find another common thing between the girls they all worked at Starbucks. The manager said no one would wanna hurt them. There was one girl that had a grudge because they didn’t invite her to hang out. Her name was Abby.
Abby said she wouldn’t hurt them; she wanted to be friends with them. There was no reason for her to kill them. And how would she access the weapons. The only suspect was Tod. Until they found something that connected him to all three. Tod wanted to come out as a relationship but Emma said her friends wouldn’t understand because they were all single. Tod decided that if he couldn’t have Emma to himself then he would just kill her. It didn’t connect though why wouldn’t he kill the other three first. Then it connected that he was supposed to die with her. But he couldn’t leave his mom. His mom was very sick.
He then decided to kill her friends because they grew suspicious of him once they found out she had a boyfriend so he had to kill them. They started a man hunt to start to find him but he died due to overdose because he couldn’t handle the stress of losing Emma. He believes that if he died they could be reunited in heaven and could get married. Teddy was released from jail. Captain was very impressed by detective Justin’s work. He solved a crime the FBI had given up on. Justin was promoted to head detective. His family was proud he brought justice for those three girls. He then made it his mission to solve or at least try to solve the hardest murders that people give up on. Justin believes everyone deserves justice.
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14 comments
It flows really well, and has an excellent mix of suspense and humor. I loved it.
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Thank you so much.
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Nice attempt and you gave justice to the prompt. I have a few suggestions though; he didn’t really know Sarah since him and Emma were a secret relationship. Here remove him and replace him with he. Change the verb form were to was. he didn’t really know Sarah, Really remove really from here. Just do some grammar editing in the further stories. I think the end was a bit rushed, it would have been better with more suspense and dialogues. But, overall the story and the concept was amazing. Even I would love your feedback on my story. Merry Chr...
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Thank you so much for your feedback! I will work on it in the future!
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If you felt to collab, feel free to ask me.
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Ok that be amazing for the next set of prompts
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great
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I have submitted a new story would love your feedback on it.
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hey, I have submitted a new story would love your feedback on my story.
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Wow, this is incredible. This is probably my favorite story of yours by far. You included more sensory details and it wasn't NEARLY as clunky as your other one. You really made us think that it was Tod at first but then confused us by showing all.the overwhelming evidence against Teddy. Then shocked the world by revealing that it actually was Tod. Very well done.
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Thanks
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Uh huhhh
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I enjoy your feedback
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Thankssssss
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