Serendipitous

"I told you before get a girl and be happy in your life." She said these words without minding any situation. I wanted her to be by my side but it doesn't seems right all the time. " OK I will get one. What about you?". Suddenly she stopped at the doorstep turned back and answered with a fragile smile"I am not meant for anyone." With those words not belonging to me keeping me away from her she took her steps and went away. She is my best friend, without her I think I am incomplete. When she said ,"be with me" I didn't know what of it would be to be with a girl who is simply my good friend. Happy, chubby, a full time clown it doesn't get in my mind that why I can't understand her, what she want.

" please, why don't you be with me??" She said."Again you are bluffing Anne. I told you I can't be with you. I can't lose you as my friend and being my." "Being mine!! What you want to say?" She quickly response to my words. It doesnt get much time and she catch my valued words. Yes she is mine, only mine. Its hard to share her with anyone. Loving her is quite a different meaning in my world. " is there any problem to be mine?"

" i really can't understand you. When I am asking to be mine you don't want to." she said.

We have different meaning of life and her life surrounds to owned person which leaves me behind. Walking with her is like walking with me, talking to her is the breeze flowing with me though understanding her is too hard whether we talk clearly. Time and again we got into fight. Sometimes its work and sometimes its love and friendship. We have been in condition for last several.years to be together but without strings. I would be get intimated to her but without any realisation of any feeling. She agreed upon it. But that time it was a little different from the previous situation.

It was getting dark. My head got heavy. I drunk a whole bottle of jameson recalling my life, Lily. After a bit I saw a chassis walking towards me." I know you will be sorry so you came." A crackling voice said, " I am sorry." She pick me up hold me in her warm arms. I can smell the sweet fragnance, her smell. Though I was drunk but I knew she was Lilly. She took me somewhere in the room. The room was hazy a little bit red in color. She threw me in bed for the reason I was quite heavy for her. I got a little bit hovered and tried to be intimate. Unexpectedly, a big slam got over my cheek. Hastily I woke up and saw an unexpected person. It was Anne. Tears rolled over her face. I asked her it is right to get intimated with you. She was crying heavily." Its fine right. Why are you crying? Are we not the friends that with benefits?" She wiped her tears and said she was not okay with being with her. " I am not fine to get intimated with you. Not as Lilly. Sorry"

By saying those words she ran away from the room. Life is getting critical with her what we are and what we are not. " Does it matter?"

The day passed she didn't talk for a while. She called me at the end of the twilight. Naturally she would be fine being as how she always be. True." Hey! What's up? What are you doing ? Did you eat?" A series of question piled up for me and I have to answer. " I am good. Yup I ate." A million of questions ran across my mind " how can you be so perfect?" And all of a sudden her question ended. I asked her whether she is fine as for my strange behavior. She didn't say a word. Avoiding my question she laughed and said "are you kidding?" " tell me, do you love me?" The dilemma appeared in my sense. Do I or do I not? " now you are bluffing! " she made a cute smile and went without or telling me any single piece of her words.

The other day she called me and asked me to come with her. I agreed on her demand. We went to the lonely graveyard where she wore a black dress. Her golden hairs were tied with the black ribbon and her bangs falling down upon her brown eyes. She hold me tightly as she was scared of someone. We went through all the gravestones and stopped near the one having the cherry flowers blossom. The name was written "Nick D'conner". Within sometime she was surrounded by many people who were looking suspiciously at her. She go there gave the flower banquet and said" I love you. I am sorry." Listening those words which was ringing in my ear I was not in my sense. She came towards me and said he was my everything. She took my hand and left the place. She stopped in the middle of the road hugged me tightly and start crying. Her tears were like pearls rolling down from her eyes

I wiped her face but she can't stop weeping.

How much clearly I speak to her or she to me I really can't get her. How can a person be so so strong to hide her sadden face and her dark history of life within herself. I cant give all of me to her but really we can't understand each other.

The moment I share with her never gets old in time. Now I am standing right in front of her gravestone." You are looking beautiful " I am guessing she is smiling at me now. Her yard blossoms with white lily and some short grasses. People say when the person is near you, you won't care about them but when they goes away from you that time you realise how much special is they were for you. I never understand you and you never understand me. That's how were together.