Roses are red, violets are blue, Devon has a girlfriend, and it isn't you. (Pt.10 of Mutants versus Witches)

Written in response to: Write about a character who finds Valentine’s Day sickly sweet.... view prompt

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Friendship Romance Funny

Elysse had always been in love with the idea of true love. Not the icky, over the top Instagram-caption love. No, Elysse wanted the stuff of legends, the rare unicorn of True Love™.


But since the whole world went out of its way to mock true love, or deem it stupid or unfeminist, Elysse kept quiet about it.


It's not like Elysse even had any experience with it. Her parents had a bitter, arranged marriage, both infinitely cruel to one another and deeply unhappy. And the nonstop examples of true love in movies, books, TV shows, cartoons, and history never stopped reminding Elysse of how much better her childhood could have been. After all, the words 'fell in love' were almost always followed by, 'they lived happily ever after'.


So Elysse longed for someone who surprised her by knowing her favourite drink or knew when she was secretly sad. She wanted to be special, the way heroines were special to their heroes, and to be known better than she knew herself.


In all of Elysse's crayon drawings as a child, there was a girl with her straight black hair, and a boy holding hands beside a big, pink house. As she grew older, the drawing became a scribbled dream in a diary, then something to coo over while watching rom-coms, and then just a secret nestled in her mind.


Love seemed ridiculous, a naive little fantasy to Elysse, who despised the immature boys in her class. And she slowly believed less and less, until she joined John's found family and met a certain telekinetic boy. Devon.


The secret crush was secret for all of five minutes since a telepath also lived with them.


In one of their first temporary homes, a dingy hotel, they'd all crashed around the single bed. Elysse couldn't sleep, tracking the grooves of the popcorn roof, wondering if Devon knew. Knew how much she liked him, even when he was mean.


"Why don't you just tell him already?" Harry groused, rolling over on the couch to glare at Elysse.


Elysse blinked. "What?" She turned over on the floor to stare back.


Harry raised an eyebrow. "Tell him you like him already." He rasped, voice weak from disuse and cracking from the beginnings of puberty.


"What are you talking about?" Elysse hissed, getting dizzy as she shot up. She glanced around anxiously, but everyone still looked asleep. Devon was only a few feet away, his chest rising and falling evenly.


"I'm not playing this game with you. Just tell him, worst case he says no." Harry said, before turning away and pulling the blanket over his head. "I bet he knows already, you're so obvious."


"Would you shut up? And stay out of my head." Elysse snapped quietly, fuming. She looked back at Devon. Still asleep.


Since then, the crush had only grown. Like a plant in shadow, since Devon had never given her a single, real sign he liked her back.


For a while, she consoled herself with their shared jokes, their good-natured back and forth, and their love of physics. Devon and her had saved each other's lives, and helped each other learn their powers. He teased her over wanting Taylor Swift's lyrics as a tattoo, and she pretended to understand his edgy rap music.


It was the perfect set up to love, rom-com worthy if the oblivious boy would just tell her he saw it.


Elysse sighed moodily, lost in these thoughts as she glared at the calendar fixed to the fridge. Valentines Day. The sweetest, silliest, day of the year. "I wish I had someone to date."


Simin and Harry exchanged amused looks right in front of her, pausing while setting plates on the table.


"Oh shut up, you guys don't have anyone either." Elysse frowned at them.


"And do you see us complaining?" Simin replied, delighted with her annoyance, as always.


"You're telling me there was no one in college?" Elysse challenged, crossing her arms. "Nobody at all that you crushed on?"


Simin scoffed. "I was there for like two weeks. That's not even enough time for a background check, let alone falling in love."


Elysse hummed disbelievingly. "Sure. All these years, meeting those good looking witches-"


"-murderous witches-" Harry chimed in, clearly having learnt sass from Simin.


"-good looking people at college, and you never liked anyone?"


"I like you." Simin grinned, batting her lashes and Elysse rolled her eyes.


"Can you be serious for five seconds?" Elysse asked. "Are you just not interested, or seriously there's been no one?"


"I liked someone once," Harry said and both Elysse and Simin instantly looked at him.


To be honest, Elysse didn't really think Harry could be into anyone. "Who?" She asked, and Simin stared at Harry for a second before laughing.


Harry blushed. "It was that guy we met in Seattle, that really funny guy-"


"The blue-haired guy who saw ghosts?" Elysse whispered, one hand halfway to her mouth. "The one who smiled all the time, and kept running his hand through his hair?"


"The con artist?" Simin giggled, hands wrapped around her stomach. "Oh my God, Harry-"


"I can't believe you didn't say anything!" Elysse said indignantly, and a little embarrassed. It was so weird to be around a telepath all the time.


Simin was buckled over, giggling madly. "-you're into bad boys? So that's why he was giving you all those sly looks-"


"Okay, can you two please keep it together?" Harry demanded, trying and failing to seem annoyed.


"And what the hell are you guys going crazy over?" Devon asked, suddenly entering the kitchen.


Simin couldn't stop laughing and Elysse beamed at him, flustered as always. Harry didn't say anything, as per usual.


"Hey, Devon." Elysse said, trying to play it cool and Simin threw her head back in a fresh fit of laughter.


Devon narrowed his eyes at them, looking annoyed. "You guys better not be this weird when Vanessa arrives."


Elysse's heart plummeted. Right, Vanessa. Devon's pretty, brilliant college girlfriend.


"Aww, Dev, are you two totally, like, in love?" Simin asked, acting shocked. "Should we be expecting a happy announcement? Do you want my blessing?"


Devon groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "Jesus, okay, you're banned from saying anything to Vanessa."


"Why? Scared I'll steal her from you?" Simin asked and Devon raised an eyebrow.


"More like you'll scare her away," Devon replied coolly. "She's a psych major, one look at you and she'll know you're crazy."


"Well if she's dating you, I think she's into crazy." Simin winked, helping Harry put the food in the middle of the table.


"Very funny, but seriously guys, nobody can do anything, anything that makes her think-"


"That we're a bunch of superpowered runaways, all living together and hiding from the government?" Elysse finally said, internally screaming when Devon glared at her.


"That's too bad, we were planning on putting on a talent show." Elysse pretended to pout and Devon rolled his eyes.


"Guys!" Devon threw up his hands. "Seriously-"


"What if I accidentally read her mind and share her secrets?" Harry asked, pretending to be worried.


"Oh god, yeah, and what if I accidentally set the table on fire?" Simin asked, her tone hushed. "And what if Vanessa wonders how a white, German man had a kid like Devon?"


Elysse laughed. "Wait, that's right. What's our cover story, Devon?" She hoped the teasing came off as teasing.


"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is tricking Devon's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend into believing we're normal," Simin told Elysse, her voice robotic.


"Feel free to self destruct now," Devon replied flatly. "And by the way, we're all adopted." He declared.


Adopted? Elysse wanted to hurl, she didn't think adopted siblings were allowed to date. In the future. In a Vanessa-free future. In a very real, Vanessa free future when Devon inevitably had to run off.


"This is sounding like a very complex cover story." Harry frowned. "And what about why you left college? Or why you-"


"Okay, but seriously, Devon, we're not gonna embarrass you." Elysse assured him, seeing him get ready to yell again. "We want you and Vanessa to succeed."


Simin and Harry put on the most unconvinced, evil looks she'd ever seen and Elysse glared at the telepath. You told her? She mentally demanded.


You've been making it painfully obvious for five years now. Harry countered, crossing his sweater-covered arms.


"Thank you, Elysse, but I didn't think for five seconds that you'd be the problem." Devon smiled and Elysse could honestly self combust right here. He had a very nice smile.


Simin was mightily rolling her eyes. "As your sister, Devon, I just want you to know that we accept you, and love you. Give me a hug, big guy."


Harry burst into laughter and Elysse couldn't stop a smile.


"And you wonder why nobody wants to date you." Devon smiled sharply at Simin.


Just as Simin opened her mouth to counter, the doorbell rang and John called out to them. "Adopted children, please come greet our guest!"


Simin sprinted out of the kitchen, and Harry left more calmly.


"You got John to play along?" Elysse asked, gaping at Devon.


"I really like her," Devon told Elysse, unusually earnest. "I hope you guys get along." He squeezed her shoulder and left, giving her a smile over his shoulder.


"Seriously?" Elysse muttered under her breath, watching him walk away, unaffected.


She really hated Valentine's day. She heard Vanessa's voice and slapped on a smile.


Maybe theirs would be a slow-burn kind of romance.


February 17, 2022 20:43

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18 comments

Pencil L
18:50 Feb 18, 2022

Bruh Harry makes being in love sound so wild.

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Moon Lion
08:28 Feb 19, 2022

:) I know right?

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Eve Retter
17:01 Feb 18, 2022

"I liked someone once" omg harry. That's precious. I love this and the title is super funny.

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Moon Lion
17:05 Feb 18, 2022

Thanks :)

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Bored Dragonguy
19:08 Feb 18, 2022

I think readers can really tell you've a) never been in love and b) don't know how it feels when others are in love lmao. To write I think it'd be less jarring and superficial if you read other's peoples experiences?

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Moon Lion
19:20 Feb 18, 2022

Okay thank you

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Graham Kinross
07:15 Feb 26, 2022

Everyone experiences love in their own way. If someone doesn't like your interpretation then they're free to keep that opinion to themselves instead of spreading hate. Sad.

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11:27 Feb 19, 2022

😂😂😂😂😂 That account name had me whizzing😂😂😂😂😂

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Jasey Lovegood
02:10 Mar 20, 2022

Hey, Moon! It's been an age, hasn't it? The title drew me in right away, and I'm so glad I read it. This story is a good combination of subtle love and humour, and I'm going to go read the second part now. ~ Jasey :)

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Moon Lion
02:17 Mar 20, 2022

Oh gosh it has! Hello again, and I'm so grateful you read the story :)

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Jasey Lovegood
02:23 Mar 20, 2022

Of course, I loved it! How have you been?

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Moon Lion
16:21 Mar 20, 2022

Honestly I'm in my first year of university and kind of struggling, but it's fine. What about you?

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Jasey Lovegood
23:11 Mar 20, 2022

Ah, that sounds stressful. I'm alright, thanks!

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Graham Kinross
07:16 Feb 26, 2022

Great story. Awesome title, sounds like a punk pop anthem.

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Moon Lion
07:20 Feb 26, 2022

Thank you, and thanks so much for reading!

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Graham Kinross
08:00 Feb 26, 2022

No problem. Thank you for reading mine.

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JK Bowling
00:07 Feb 21, 2022

I think out of the two stories about "this" afternoon, this one is stronger in understanding Elysse (pronounced el-ese, or elis?), and the one about Devon is stronger in giving some context to a character we know very little about.

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Moon Lion
00:43 Feb 21, 2022

Ele-ese is right, and thank you for reading! I agree, the one with Devon could use some work (I have not been around people in a long time :)).

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