Carnival of Confusion

TW: death

It was a normal day, slightly on the cold side. The wind brushed lightly against my blonde hair, tied into two pigtails. I was eight years old, and I was at a carnival! It was a rather gloomy carnival – a little creepy.

I asked Mama and Papa if I could buy some fairy floss. Mama smiled kindly and Papa reached into his pocket to pull out some gold coins. A large, pure smile spread across my lips, revealing my pearly, white teeth. I took the money gratefully and made my way through the mass of people to the fairy floss stall.

Once I’d gotten what I had ordered, I took a bite and made my way back to where I’d left my parents. They were gone. Disappeared.

Then I realised my surroundings had changed and I was a long way away. I was beside the clown tent.

There, it loomed over me. Tall and striped. An eerie silence fell over me as I realised everyone had vanished.

Puzzled, I wandered away from the tent and towards the fairy floss stand again. The lady who had given me the delicious treat was very nice, so maybe she could help me.

I peeked into the stall and saw her. Her back was facing me, she was hugging her knees and rocking back and forth, laughing quietly.

“Are you okay?” I asked in a small voice.

She got louder and louder until she was at an ear-splitting pitch. I screamed and ran away. I was looking behind me as the lady sank further into the distance. I tripped over and fell face first into a soft fabric. Looking up, I recognised the stripes.

“The clown tent,” I whispered.

Terrified, I ran away. Right into another tent. Carnival music blared as I entered and people were laughing and clapping as the acrobats swung on their swings, flipping and turning.

A female acrobat did a somersault, but as she went to grab the bars on the next swing, the male acrobat snatched it.

She fell. There was a bloodcurdling snap and the female acrobat lay motionless on the wooden floor.

Nobody seemed to notice. The male acrobat continued his performance, and the clowns emerged from below.

Cheers erupted from the crowd as the clowns mopped up the blood seeping from the dead acrobat’s neck and they carried her away.

I decided to make my way into the stands, to see if Mama and Papa were there. My heart skipped a beat as I saw the crowd’s faces.

Well, their no-faces. Not one of them had a face. Only mouths. Mouths with needle-like, long teeth. Mouths with a snake’s tongue.

Fear flooded me and I bolted away, nearly dropping my fairy floss. I was running for what felt like ages. I stopped to catch my breath, hunched with my hands resting lightly on my knees. My heart was pounding, and my breathing was ragged.

I glanced up at what was a plain, grassy field two minutes ago. Instead, there stood the faded, striped tent.

“The clown tent,” I whispered. Just as I had before.

I took my final deep breath, turned, and jogged away. The world spun as my stomach grumbled. I took another bite from my fairy floss. I peeked behind me, and there it stayed. Far away, but still there. I faced forwards again and saw a ring toss stand.

“Roll up! Roll up!” the man was saying.

He was large, with a long, black moustache and was slightly overweight.

“Have you any money, little girl?” he asked, bending down to meet my height.

His belly rolled and it made me uncomfortable.

“No,” I replied politely, turning away.

I should’ve learnt to stop turning away, because reality would just change. A hand yanked me back around and I was staring into his beady, black eyes.

“Now, you little b-” He trailed off.

His breathing was fast and smelt of alcohol.

“Let me go,” I said forcefully. My whole body was trembling, giving me away.

He laughed manically. He reached behind my ear and pulled a gold coin from behind it.

“Now you’ve got money.” His voice was raspy, and it scared me.

I gave him the coin with my shaking hand and picked up some rings. I purposely missed them all.

“You ain’t trying?” he queried.

I sucked in a sharp breath. Fear overcame me. I powered away, my legs pounding the grassy floor as I ran. I knew that I couldn’t look down or away, or my surroundings would change.

I got tired. I took one breath – for a split second – and there it was.

The clown tent. Defeated, I trudged across the muddy terrain to the entrance. I lifted the greasy flap and dirt tipped off it.

A disgusting stench filled my nostrils and I held back a cough. A horn tooted as I entered and ripped up party poppers blew around me.

“Welcome!” a voice cried.

Something wasn’t right. And I don’t mean the fact that somehow reality changed. It was as though the voice was in my head.

Then, I heard the zip sound of the tent closing behind me. Panic threatened to roam free, but I pushed it back down.

“Hello?” I called uncertainly.

It was pitch black, and I seemed to be on some sort of unsteady bridge. It creaked as I took baby steps across it.

The high-pitched voice started giggling. I saw a flash of movement coming from the corner of the tent, which didn’t make sense, seeing as I was on a bridge. The figure would have fallen. I reached a tentative foot down and I was correct. No floor.

Now I really couldn’t fall.

“Who are you?” I asked, timider than I was meaning.

“Did you like your fairy floss?” it shot back.

“Did my fairy floss poison me?” I whispered, terrified.

“No, you silly girl!” The voice laughed louder.

Another flicker of movement opposite me. It was on the bridge.

I saw long, clown shoes on the bridge. The aged, wooden surface creaked as they got closer.

“Did you take your medication?” the clown questioned.

My lungs weren’t working. I couldn’t speak. I choked silently.

Then I heard a voice from behind me. This one was familiar – welcoming.

“Honey come here. We thought we’d lost you!” It was Mama.

I smiled thinly. I took a few cautious steps towards the tent’s exit, which was now open. Light shone in and there was Mama.

“Hey, baby,” she murmured into my hair as she embraced me.

“Take some medication,” my Papa told me, handing me some tablets and water.

I took my medicine. And blacked out.

Was that my Mama and Papa? Was I really sick? Where’s the clown?

Questions spun in my head as I was paralysed.

Through all this confusion, I knew one thing for sure.

I was going home.