59 comments

Fiction Mystery Sad

Time had flown by quickly, every year Sasha would make New Year resolutions, but every year she would fail to achieve them. This year she thought to make a list that was easy to accomplish, but yet again, the year was about to come to an end, only a few hours left and yet she had not been able to complete a single thing on the list. With the horrible day she had at work and the bad lucky she got when she arrived only two minutes late at the bus stop, she felt flaky and depressed for many reasons. Another additional being that she was unable to spend the holidays with her parents, as she had work piled up. She thought to look at the list one last time. Maybe she would be able to succeed at least one small thing. Which would aid her in feeling contented and satisfied. To get rid the feeling of sorrow.

Sasha started to cross off everything one by one. Reaching at the last, she abruptly stopped. In small letters it had been written "help a person in need". Sasha gazed at the words for a long time. Thinking that maybe she could finish this goal. She strained her head hard but it kept coming up blank. Pacing in the living room, thinking that maybe she could help at the homeless shelter. But it was snowing heavily and the news said it would take at least four hours before clearing up. No one in her neighbor would be needing anything at this moment. She could have dinner with the lonely lady down by the street, but Sasha did not like her presence because of the fact that she always smelled like stale fish.

Plopping on the coach, with a sigh, she turned the TV on. Skipping through channels, she found nothing entertaining. Abruptly, with a loud noise bursting through the house. Sasha jumped in terror, looking around but suddenly the electricity went out. Her vision became black as the night. Not even the moon aiding her in sight. The sudden darkness scared her to the core. She roamed her hands, in search for her phone, and was very glad to feel it underneath the cushion behind her. Sasha turned on the torch of her phone but instantly regretted the action, as there was a six-foot tall man standing in front of her. With a black mask on his face that only showed his icy blue eyes. A sharp knife in his hand. With Sasha’s heart beating rapidly and eyes popping out of her head. She started to scream, but before she could utter a single sound the intruder tackled her onto the sofa and put his hand on Sasha’s mouth. With a deep voice he said “I’ll put this knife in your throat if you utter a single sound”. The intruder grabbed her hands and pined them above her head. 

Once the intruder was sure that Sasha was not going to scream. He asked “if I remove my hand from your mouth, will you scream?” Weakly, Sasha nodded her head to say “no”. The intruder removed his hand slowly and released his grip on her hands. He got up and said “no one has to get hurt, just give me what I need”. Sasha looked fragile and petrified. Her eyes became watery and in a feeble voice asked “what do you want from me”. The man turned the light on and looked inquisitively around the house. His eye got glued on the fridge in the kitchen. He stood in front of the fridge and opened it gently. His eyes bulged after seeing all the food. Took out a plastic bag from his jacket and began to fill it up.

From behind, Sasha was watching intensely. She was surprised to see the actions of the intruder. “Out of all the things in the house, why would he open the fried” Sasha thought. Confused by his activities, she got up quietly and strolled towards him. However, the wooden floor under her, screeched by her footsteps, she stopped sharply. The man turned his head with a snap, barking “sit back down!” Sasha followed the instructions, promptly. Her heart beating at the speed of light. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to call the police but knew what the consequences would be. All she could do was sit, without making a sound. 

After filling the bag with food, the man turned to find Sasha sitting on the coach, looking as if she was about to pass out. The man felt bad for what he was doing, but it something he must do. It was unavoidable. He looked at Sasha, feeling horrible. She backed away in terror, saying “please take whatever you want, just don’t hurt me”. The man softened his look and apologized to her. Sasha being surprised by the intruder’s words, suddenly looked at him with eyes wide open. The man, in a gentle and remorseful tone said “I am sorry, I know I should not be doing this, but I don’t have any other choice. My wife is in the hospital suffering from cancer. I don’t have any money for her treatments”. The man voice quivered but completed his words. “My children are at home crying from hunger, I do not have a choice, I am sorry”. With this the man ran outside and seemed to disappear into thin air.

Sasha was shocked. Her mind having million thoughts at once. On one hand she felt anger towards the man, who had broken into her home, but also felted sympathetic to the man. Not knowing what to feel she laid her head on a pillow. Turning on her back she looked at the plain white ceiling. Even though she felt unpleasant and felt a little bit used due to the event, a thought occurred in her head “even thought it was unintentional I was able to accomplish one goal from my list”. With this last thought she drifted into deep sleep.


December 25, 2020 17:08

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59 comments

Merel Cooijmans
22:12 Jan 18, 2021

This is a really good story. It may add an extra layer if the man took off his mask and she realized she knew him from the neighborhood. I loved that the man had a backstory and wasn't just a burglar. I really hope you keep writing more of these stories :)

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Saniya Khakwany
01:34 Jan 19, 2021

Thats a really good idea. Ill keep it in mind and Thank you :)

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08:28 Feb 27, 2021

A very nice story from a burglars. Perspective the ethical dilemma vs ones pressing needs From Sasha's point a new awekening to a terrible reality in society hunger

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07:28 Feb 27, 2021

A good story showed how due to circumstances and at times compulsions beyond our control we end up breaking ethically boundaries

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David Francis
23:24 Jan 29, 2021

A lovely idea very well realised. Sentence structure, grammar and language dexterity will all come with practice. The one thing that cannot be easily learned is a fantastic and colourful imagination; that is the one thing every writer must have before all else. You have that. Keep writing, keep perfecting your craft, and listen carefully to the inner voice of your creativity - it will tell you all the stories you need.

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Saniya Khakwany
06:01 Jan 30, 2021

thank u

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Saniya Khakwany
06:01 Jan 30, 2021

thank u

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17:03 Jan 27, 2021

This was a good story, I liked the depth you added to the burglar! Some of the things you said sounded awkward, or didn't make sense. When the intruder showed up, you repeat the exact words of Sasha uttering "a single sound". I would suggest finding a different description. At the start, when you are describing how Sasha is upset about her day, resolutions, and inability to spend the holiday with her family, I would suggest finding a way to describe Sasha's emotions at the time and not just describing what it is that's bothering her. For...

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Saniya Khakwany
02:00 Jan 28, 2021

Ill keep this in mind. Thank you

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Saniya Khakwany
02:00 Jan 28, 2021

Ill keep this in mind. Thank you

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Endellion .
16:50 Jan 27, 2021

Cool! May need some sentence structure editing and word replacements.

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Saniya Khakwany
01:59 Jan 28, 2021

👍

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09:19 Jan 26, 2021

Wow. I love the story.

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Saniya Khakwany
11:30 Jan 26, 2021

Thank u

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Rimsha Azeem
08:59 Jan 25, 2021

I really liked the story.

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Elaine Martini
17:59 Jan 20, 2021

I like the twist in the story. Well done

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Saniya Khakwany
00:39 Jan 21, 2021

Thank u :)

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Penelope Rose
17:23 Jan 20, 2021

I really enjoyed this! keep up the good work :)

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Saniya Khakwany
17:25 Jan 20, 2021

Thank you :)

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Manahel Javaid
14:27 Jan 20, 2021

Amazing 😍 such an intreging story.

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Maria Saeed
12:46 Jan 20, 2021

Amazing story ❤ .

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Saniya Khakwany
12:57 Jan 20, 2021

🥰

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Nm Vlogs
08:56 Jan 20, 2021

Amazing story, keep it up❤

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Saniya Khakwany
09:51 Jan 20, 2021

Thx😊

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Saniya Khakwany
09:51 Jan 20, 2021

Thx😊

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Aisha Ali
07:55 Jan 20, 2021

Really liked the way you expressed your thoughts. Hats off to you!! 💛

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Saniya Khakwany
08:02 Jan 20, 2021

Thank u💛

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Fizza Asif
06:26 Jan 20, 2021

I like the idea Keep it up my girl❤️❤️👍

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Saniya Khakwany
06:32 Jan 20, 2021

aww <3

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Jade Mckinzie
09:44 Jan 18, 2021

wow, a very unexpected ending!

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Michelle Turner
09:36 Jan 18, 2021

a little bit confusing, but the plot is good

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Shaheera Ghani
09:23 Jan 18, 2021

liked the idea

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Sahar Kashif
14:00 Jan 08, 2021

Amazing plot

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Saniya Khakwany
16:06 Jan 08, 2021

💗

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Khadijah Saber
18:43 Jan 07, 2021

Amazing👏👏. Loved the plot of the story ❤❤

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Saniya Khakwany
08:32 Jan 08, 2021

Thank u

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