My accomplishments of last years New Year resolutions. ( Or , why God laughs!)

Three years ago, our large family and a sprinkling of friends

all enjoyed the magical bringing in of the " New Year" in of all

places New York. Yup, we all froze our butts off to watch a giant

glittering ball drop as we counted down the seconds and watched

the millions of others doing the same thing on a huge screen, where we also, gasp, got to listen to celebrities tell us their new year resolutions.

It's three years later and I'm sitting at my little black half moon shaped desk, reading what I had resolved to do or not do last year.

I had resolved to be less judgmental of others. I had resolved to be a more patient driver, ( I mean really, where are we all going that we have to be there NOW?) and I had resolved to be more accepting of others and who they are, instead of trying to change them, make them better, perhaps like me? yeah, right! Haha!

The junk food resolution though, oh so funny. I would feel guilt whenever I bought my favorite ( comfort?) foods. I actually would hide them and not eat them around my husband Sebastian. Why? I have no idea. It's not like he would put me over his knees to spank me for being a bad eater. Though, that DOES sound kind of fun. Wink wink!

Anyhoo...I sat there and looked at the list and thought, why do we humans make these silly, ( silly because we know most of us will fail,) so called resolutions at the beginning of every new year.

To me, that sounded, ( in my mind, anyway,) insane. That's why I made the resolutions about acceptance and patience. I figured if we are making these silly " promises" why not make them not silly and instead make ones that we can at least have some success in, maybe! Not only will it make us better people, it might even change another persons' beliefs or attitudes. It might even make a whole bunch of people, well, just nicer.

So last year, I made a point to mark every day on the calendar what I accomplished or didn't in my goals of becoming a better person.

I'm sitting here kind of proud of myself, ( I even went to one of those dollar stores and bought a package of stickers that say things like, " way to go" or " so proud of you,") since I figured no one else would probably congratulate me.

Now, I'm not religious but DO believe in God but I don't push my beliefs on others, yet I have friends who are Jewish, Muslim, etc..

and I have to say that after looking at the 1st few months of my resolutions, I can see I struggled and I also now believe a saying that one of my Jewish friends says often, ( beside Oy Vay!,) the saying is, " Man plans, God laughs." I was always kind of curious as to what she meant when she would quote that. Now I know. Hahahaha...

I say haha because one day I had plans to run errands, which meant a lot of driving in traffic full of hungry,angry and slow drivers talking on their phones or worse, a grandma, ( who I could barely see she was so small,) and I started getting stressed saying, ( to no one in particular,) " come on already, it's a 35 mile zone and you're going maybe 20 , at best. What is your problem?"Like she could hear and answer me, haha.

This kept happening every single time I drove. I would get stuck behind an older person driving way too slow or the driver would be so busy texting and looking at their phones that they were all over the place, as if the road was a sort of carnival car ride. Haha.

Then one day I reminded myself of my goals for the new year.

And after realizing that God indeed was probably ROTFL, ( ya know, rolling on the floor laughing?) I finally understood my Jewish friends saying. So, I took a few cleansing, deep breaths and reminded myself that the world wasn't going to stop just because I didn't get to the green light while it was still green. That I was running errands, not the world. I got to the grocery store where I was heading, finally! Lo and behold,but who was ahead of me at the register? It looked like the lady driver who was in front of me on the way here.

She had just asked the cashier if someone could help her load her things into her car because she was 98 years old and just starting to have problems with her knees. The cashier didn't even look at her, just said, " no."

Rude..just rude! I gently tapped the older woman on her shoulder and said, " I have only a few things and if you want to wait just a few minutes, I will help you." She accepted the offer and waited until I was ready to go. We reached her car, she opened the trunk and I loaded cases of soda, water, all kinds of heavy objects.

We talked as I helped her and told her I was amazed that she didn't get mad and demand to see the manager. Because that cashier was very rude about it and didn't need to be.

She responded, " Dear, you will learn that you have to stop and think about the situation, the other person involved and think how maybe, she's a mom of three, working hard on her feet all day, and then has to go home to cook, clean, etc...and isn't thinking of anything else but wanting to put her feet up and take a breath. Also, if I did demand to see the manager, she could have lost her job and then where would she and her children live, what would they eat?" " You have to always remember that you are not the only person in this world. And you have to think on how you don't know them or what they may be going through."

I thought on it and agreed and thanked her for the lesson. She thanked me and drove off...slowly! Haha

After that day, I did better as the days went but of course being a mere human, ( who supposedly God laughs at regularly, for making " plans, ") I did fail once in awhile but am reminded of that older lady and her lesson and resolve to do better the next day. Haha.

The other resolution to be less judgmental had been, ( in all honesty, still is,) a lot harder.

One night my husband and I decided to go out to our favorite coffee house and we were in line. Ahead of us was what looked like a tall, sort of largish man wearing a dress, heels and all. Once he was done with his order and we ordered ours and sat down, I noticed he was talking to a rather unique looking woman.

I started giggling. My husband asked me what was so funny. I replied, " Look, one looks like a female but is probably a male and the one in that dress looks like a male but is probably a female. It's no wonder the world is so messed up."

The two of them were just standing and chatting while sipping their drinks. I overheard the man, ( ?,) in the dress telling his companion about how years ago he would never have been able to walk around in a dress without being attacked and beaten but that things still needed to change to a world where we accept people as they are. His companion replied, " You're so right. The thing is, is I want to know WHO makes up the rules to how we should look or how we should act or talk." " Who said just because we were born a female but feel as if we are a male and decide to change ourselves to be more comfortable with ourselves, to be true to our selves and they tell us we are wrong, we are sick?" They left and I sat there feeling several feelings. One, of course was guilt. Who am I to judge him/her? I'm not God. Two,I felt horrible because I was one of those people who think that everyone should conform to what society has told us to be as far as female or male, gay or straight, sloppy or neat, etc...

That scene left me seriously looking at my judgments of others. Next thing I know my husband is whispering, " Look at those guys at the counter, you can tell their from Mexico. They can barely speak enough English to order. They're probably here illegally and taking our jobs."

Now, usually I would sit there and agree with him. me, with my anger and resentment toward them, him with his own special judgments. Not this time. This time I actually said to Sebastian, " How do you know? Do you personally know them? " How do you know they aren't here legally?" " And even if they are here illegally, who are you or I to judge?" "It's none of our business and it's not our place to judge others, just as it isn't anyone's right to judge us."

Sebastian wasn't too happy with my reply but he let it go, as is his way. I still,in the many months that flew by to become another new year didn't do that bad, but still need improvement. I still find myself looking at others and in my mind judging them. Most of the time, I catch myself with those thoughts and put a halt to them.

So, I put stickers of stars and happy faces on the months I did pretty darned good. This year I plan to do even better at accomplishing my new years' resolutions. And then I heard, God laugh! Hahahaha