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Crime Thriller Suspense

Warning! This is quite long. On google docs it was 8 pages and 1617 words long. I hope you like it though.

Eleanor Gray knew who the suspect was. She was one of the best detectives in Europe, and never got a case wrong. But this one was different. Different because it was harder than her previous ones. Harder because all the suspects she had chosen could be guilty, or innocent. It could be Riley, or Olivia, but she knew it definitely wasn’t Emma. Emma was too sweet. But Eleanor had chosen Emma as one of her suspects, because she was there for the entire murder. She heard the helpless screams. She saw the scarlet blood. She saw the silver knife, gleaming under the moon, dripped in blood. And she didn’t do anything the entire time. “Miss Gray!” and for a while, Eleanor forgot she was at court. “Miss Gray! May I not need you to forget that you are at court at this moment. You may day dream all you like when you leave, but for the moment you shall pay full attention to me and the conversation.” Judge Chester explained. “I apologize ma’am. I shall pay attention now.” Eleanor said kindly. Judge Chester was VERY strict, but she was Miss Gray’s favourite judge. She knew how to get the job done. And she never underestimated Eleanor. Most likely because she was Judge Chesters once removed cousin. “Now,” the Judge said, “Let’s get back to work. Miss Gray, would you like to tell us who you think the suspect is? Or would you like your last 3 suspects to explain what they were doing?” “I would like my suspects to explain first please.” 

“SUSPECT NUMBER 1! OLIVIA BAILEY! EXPLAIN WHAT YOU WERE DOING AT THE TIME OF THE MURDER!” Judge Chester shouted over the microphone.

“My name is Olivia Bailey.” A red-headed girl stood up, with mint green eyes and a brown tan. She was wearing a long yellow flower dress with a jean jacket over it. “And I did not murder Miss Amelia Bailey, because she is my sister! Anybody who tries to kill her sister is a maniac. And may I inform you kindly that I cared for my sister deeply. I may not have shown her much affection like most siblings do, but now that she is dead, I regret it. I should’ve shown her more love. I was offended at the fact that you chose me as a suspect.”

“MISS GRAY! EXPLAIN WHY YOU HAVE CHOSEN MRS BAILEY AS A SUSPECT!”

Eleanor started explaining. “I have chosen Olivia Bailey as one of my suspects for many reasons:

1) She may be Miss Amelia’s sister, but sometimes the suspect is the one that is the least thought of. When the Bailey sisters were growing up, they fought a lot, and most of the time Amelia won. This murder may have been Olivia’s revenge.

2) Mrs Olivia has been absent often, and found mostly at weapon shops. The knife used was a knife Olivia once bought. She may have bought it to kill her sister.” At this, Olivia looked horrified. She looked as if she was about to scream and cry, but thankfully she kept her mouth shut. So Eleanor went on.

“But the knife may as well have been found by the murderer when they broke in.

3) I was hoping not to say this, but it seems as though I have to. Mrs Olivia has been found practicing murdering techniques on a dummy in one of her friends' basements. She has been practising throwing and penetrating the heart from a small in the back. Miss Amelia’s body was found with a puncture in that same spot. 

That is my evidence that Mrs Olivia might be the murderer.” Eleanor finished. She stared at Olivia, who was starting back at her. She looked as if she wanted to say something, and the great thing about Judge Chester, was that she knew that look.

“MRS OLIVIA BAILEY! WOULD YOU LIKE TO ADD SOMETHING?”

“Yes please.” She said.“I would like to say that the information Miss Gray has given is false.

1) Yes, when we were children we would fight. But we would play fight. Those times when I ’won’ was the times that my sister would let me, because we all knew that she was the better fighter in the family. I only fought her on occasion so that she could find new tricks.” The Judge looked quite fed up here.

“Mrs Bailey, I understand where you are coming from, but we do not have the time for you to explain yourself. You may moan all you like, but for the time being I have to trust the detective, Miss Gray. Now then. MISS RILEY! EXPLAIN WHAT YOU WERE DOING AT THE TIME OF THE MURDER!” 

A tall girl with black hair and brown eyes stood up. She was wearing one of the shortest dresses Eleanor had ever seen.“I didn’t even know there was a murder until you told me before yesterday on the phone." She said. Poised and calm. Too poised and calm. Which wasn't natural for a suspect. Unless they were the murderer. Or she was just a calm person in general. But Eleanor and Riley had gone to the same school, and if Riley lacked something, it was calmness. Patience and calmness. "It's not natural," Eleanor said, "For somebody to be so calm when they are being interrogated." She was standing now, and walking towards Riley. Her bronde hair flowing in the air, her black hat covered over her hazel eyes. Her jeans reaching her ankles, where her black boots reached. Her black leather jacket over a red shirt. "One would think that a suspect would be fighting to stay out of prison, wouldn't they. A criminal would seem calm, to cover up their fear. Wouldn't you say so?" Miss Gray asked, slamming her hands on Riley's desk. Leaning over to stare into her eyes, to see the truth. 

"I disagree Miss Gray." Riley responded. "An innocent person would not fight, because they would know that they do not need to serve time in prison."    

"May I ask, Miss Riley, how many times you have been a detective, trying to solve a crime?"      

"None. But if I must say so myself, I do watch a lot of court on television. And when we try to figure out who the criminal is, we are correct most of the time."

“And is court your favourite thing to watch?”

“Yes.”

And at that, Miss Gray walked away and sat down, crossed legs on her desk and hat tipped over her eyes, but keeping an eye on all 3 suspects.

“NOW! EMMA WILLIAMS! EXPLAIN WHAT YOU WERE DOING AT THE TIME OF THE MURDER!” 

“I was working at my restaurant ma’am.” Emma said. She was the only one who wasn’t wearing a dress. Instead, she wore a white top and grey leggings. Her brown hair covered her eyes, but Eleanor could still make out that they were the colour of a storm at sea. A wild and free storm. But shy. Just like Emma’s character. 

“And what exactly do you do at your restaurant?” Miss Gray asked.  

“I am a waitress. I take orders of food and drinks.”

“I am quite familiar with what a waitress is, but what I do not understand is how you know Miss Amelia Bailey. From all the records we have seen, we have not heard anything that mentions Miss Bailey. So tell me Miss Williams. How do you know Amelia?”

After a moment's hesitation, Emma said thoughtfully “Our parents were close friends when they were younger. I grew alongside the Bailey sisters, but we kept it a secret.”

“That is all the information we need from you Emma.”Eleanor said in a flat tone. “After thinking thoughtfully, I have decided on who the criminal is.” Judge Chester stared at Eleanor, though was not surprised.

“I have decided,” Miss Gray went on, “That the criminal is...nobody.” Everyone in the room was shocked. There were soft murmurs. Eleanor could only make out a few. ‘What does she mean by nobody?’ ‘Surely she has made a mistake!’ 

“SILENCE!” the Judge shouted. “Miss Gray, I do not understand. There has been proof of Miss Amelia Bailey’s death. How is there nobody who killed her?”

“Let me explain.” Eleanor started. “I am correct that only I saw the dead body, yes? Well, there was a puncture in her skin in the same small of her back, as Miss Olivia was training. However, the sisters were only play fighting, like they did when they were little. They had agreed that they are allowed to use sharp weapons, and the reason Olivia was found training was for that match. Amelia was using their training room, and when the match started, Miss Amelia couldn’t find her armour, so she thought she would be fine. Sadly, she died from blood loss. Yes there was a puncture in her back, but it was very small, and somehow overnight she had died from blood loss. Miss Riley. You and Amelia were good friends when little. And you both loved watching court. I know from the information you gave me. You kept saying ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ or ‘me’. You meant Ameila as the other person. And Emma Williams. Or should I say Emma Bailey. Emma ‘Amelia’ Bailey. Amelia had a twin sister. An unknown twin sister that Mr and Mrs Williams agreed on raising. I believe Amelia Bailey's full name is Amelia ‘Emma’ Bailey. Yes. It is. So that concludes it. Nobody is guilty. Amelia ‘Emma’ Bailey’s death was unintentional.” And she was finished. Another case closed. And she walked out of the hall, to her apartment across the street.

December 18, 2020 23:06

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3 comments

Jasey Lovegood
23:44 Dec 29, 2020

Hey Em, Wonderful story, I really enjoyed reading Eleanor Gray's story, and I must say she is a good detective. There was some good dialogue here, and my only piece of feedback is that you have some grammatical errors, but they're easy fixes. [“That is all the information we need from you Emma.”Eleanor said in a flat tone.] You just need a space after the quotation mark, that's all! Well done for your first story, if you have time, please check out mine! :D

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Sam W
01:03 Dec 26, 2020

An interesting case, Emily. I loved your description and characterization, as well as the suspects’ reactions to being interrogated. I will advise, however, that you look a bit further into court proceedings if you’re writing a piece like this one. I enjoyed the read!

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Roland Aucoin
12:48 Dec 24, 2020

Hi, Emily -- I like mystery, courtroom drama, 'm u r d e r'. This was a curious yet interesting approach and the ending was certainly a surprise. It had me rereading to see what I might have missed. :) Well done.

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