You Mean Déjà Vu?

She was wearing a pink bra, even in the dim lighting I caught a glimpse of it-just the strap peaking out from beneath the slouching shoulder of her blouse. But, I'd thought, no way. Yet, it really was her. She saw me before I could make a move myself. 

"Matty?" Her voice barely broke through the pulsating music, but because I was already aware she was walking over, it was hard to miss and she called again, "Matt!"

I turned, eyes heavy and posture swaying from the alcohol. She was drunkish too, I could tell from how red her cheeks were. 

"Lola." I smiled her name, and she leaned up to kiss both my cheeks in a fittingly European manner. We were, after all, in some dingy French club-somehow meeting once again. She was beaming at me, as if she had just been telling someone she hoped she'd run into me. I was never very good at these types of interactions, especially when they were off-the-cuff, so I just returned the air kisses and stayed quiet. Just as I knew she would, she filled in the blanks perfectly. I had always been able to count on her for that, no matter where or when we happened to run into one another. I had to admit, each time we came across each other, started to feel like some sort of sign from the universe. That is, if you believe in that type of thing. 

"What're you doing here? It's only been a few weeks..." Her hazel eyes reflected the poppy rainbow colors being projected all over the club, her features meshing slightly like I was looking into a kaleidoscope as I stared at her. "We keep running into each other like this!"

"Pretty crazy!" I added lamely, trying to match her excitement but failing miserably. I didn't want to seem too eager. I hoped she wouldn't notice I was alone. She didn't, and instead pulled me over to her group of friends without a second thought. I didn't fight her, allowing the girl to introduce me to some of her new, chic French friends. All of which, were way out of my league in every way. Even so, we all danced and drank, mingling meaninglessly as the hours chugged by at the pace of catchy club tunes. I had to admit, by the end of the night, I was glad to had run into her. 

Before I knew it she was asking: "So, where are you staying?"

She spoke through laughter, smiling up at me as we leaned against the brick, alley wall outside of the club. Lola always had that thing about her, that effortless beauty. I wondered silently if she knew how she looked-if she knew that there were dozens of colors in her eyes at once. Every time I looked I saw something I'd never seen before. As I began to explain whereabouts my hotel was, I felt a rush of hot air against my lips, and her small hand grab my wrist. 

She was kissing me, and I was kissing her back. Until I wasn't.

"You're drunk," I said softly as I pulled back, my thumb running over her rosy cheek, "We're drunk."

"Matt," Lola sighed, batting her eyelashes at me, "I like you."

I sucked in a breath and took a step back, rubbing my hands together for warmth as I watched our breaths cloud between us and swirl together. The street was quiet except for a few stragglers from the club-other couples standing next to vehicles parked off to the side, or leaning casually against the alleyway just the way Lola and I were. A cold breeze blew, and I felt chills crawl up my spine. My stomach churned-I assumed the alcohol was getting to me. The more I stood, the more lightheaded and weak I began to feel. 

"Lola. I don't feel well..." I blinked spots out of my vision and sucked in a deep breath, trying to steady myself, surprised how poorly I was holding my liquor, "I should go."

Lola's face twisted with concern and she grabbed onto my other wrist, helping me to stand straight. 

"Are you alright?" Lola cooed, brushing some of my bangs out of my eyes before holding me up once more. Suddenly, my vision started to darken at the edges, and I felt my knees begin to buckle. I tried to hold onto the girl in order to ground myself, but a wave of confusion came over me as I noticed her eyes stared off into the distance. Somewhere behind me... 

And she wasn't frowning anymore. She was... smiling. 

I turned my head slightly, to look down the alleyway. Even as my view swayed like the ocean, I could see all of them. All of the people. They all stood at attention, completely silent, staring straight at me. I felt my chest tighten, and I tried to inch closer into Lola.

But I felt the bag go over my head, and my body was growing more numb by the moment. I couldn't move, and once they beat me over the head, with a hand or object I couldn't tell, I was out. 

-

When I woke up, I felt funny. I couldn't immediately put my finger on what was wrong, the way you sometimes can't quite arrive at a word you know you've heard. The lights were buzzing, and tinted the entire room yellow, coloring the blood stains on the floor a deep maroon. I was tied by every limb to a bed with no sheets, my naked body plastered against the sweat soaked, salty smelling mattress. Blinking a few more times, I laid my head back down onto the bed to rest. I could feel that I'd been hit, and was probably concussed at the very least. 

When I picked up my head again, groaning at how heavy it felt, I finally noticed what was missing. 

My genitals had been cut off, and were lying on a wooden table across the room next to a shiny butcher's knife. 

I felt sick, lying on my back staring down at the hackjob that had been done on my pelvis. The only other feature unique to the very empty room was a door just across from the bed where I laid, which slowly opened as I fought to catch my breath and remember what had happened before I ended up with my penis across the room from me. 

"Oh good," Lola waltzed in, wearing a pair of denim shorts and a grey, blood-soaked t-shirt, "You're awake."

I stared at her with wide eyes, trying to thrash against my rope restraints without much success. I screamed as I felt the throbbing pain of my messily stitched wound for the first time. She giggled, sweet and calm as ever. I couldn't believe she was the same girl I'd been running into all year, no matter where I happened to be.

"What the fuck is going on?" I demanded, wincing with each word, my jaw clenched as I tried to shut out the pain.

Behind her followed a dozen or so girls of the same age, all in the same clothing. I noticed then their shirts had some strange insignia I didn't recognize on them. Their smiles were uncanny. They looked at me like I was a lion at a zoo, finally climbing out from behind the rocks that obstructed me from view. 

Able to sit up slightly, I turned onto my ribcage and vomited onto the bed-hot, thick and foamy. The girls grimaced. I wasn't particularly preoccupied with my image, so I choked and hacked until I felt marginally better.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" one of them, a brunette, piped up. 

"What?" I furrowed my brows, lying on my back again out of pure exhaustion. Lola came to my side, using a bloody towel to wipe up my sick. 

"You wanted to get Jess into bed," the dark haired girl explained, getting elbowed in the ribs by one of the other onlookers. She corrected herself: "Lola, I mean."

I raised my head again and looked at Lola, "Jess? Your name isn't even Lola?"

She smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed, laying a hand on my torso. I recoiled at her touch, trying and failing to escape it. 

"Just admit you were gonna fuck me," Lola-Jess sighed, her eyes ice cold. I squinted at her, shaking my head momentarily in disbelief. What the hell?

"I- I literally told you we were too drunk. I wasn't gonna do anything with you," I growled at the girl, moaning as I strained myself again. I felt the stitches on my crotch shift and clenched my jaw tightly once more. The sharp, unexplainable pain made me gag again, but I was able to recover after a few deep breaths.

Across all of the girls, there was a profound silence. Some of them even exchanged looks of concern at my words, but shuffled uncomfortably only as Lola-Jess was preoccupied with me. 

"T-That's what they all say... right, Jess?" a taller, ginger haired girl spoke up, seeming unsure of everything. She had a cloth up to her nose, obviously not being able to stomach the stench of the vomit. Or maybe it was the smell of my dick fermenting on a sidetable, I couldn't be sure. 

"LOLA!" The girl corrected as she sat next to me, snapping loud enough to make all of the other girls jump. They all nodded obediently, seeming afraid to my eye contact with me. 

Lola-Jess started to lecture the girls in a hushed voice-something about how they had to trust her, and some other mumblings I couldn't quite make out. It almost sounded Latin-like chanting. While they were distracted I tried to look around the room for some kind of escape. There wasn't much of anything, but my eyes drifted quietly over to the knife on the table. That seemed to be my only out. The only problem (a figure of speech, I had very many problems) was figuring out how to get to it. I would have to use one of the girls...

"Are you fucking serious?"Lola-Jess screeched as one of the girls threw up on the floor, her eyes having found my surgically removed manhood. She grabbed the girl roughly by the arm and dragged her out of the small room, leaving me and the remainder of the girls. I knew I was going to have to do some serious bargaining, and fast. 

"Help me," I started with, trying to make my expression look as pathetic as possible. 

"We can't talk to you," a blonde girl at the front said, her arms crossed across her flat chest. 

"Why not?" I questioned, trying to struggle against my restraints again. 

"You can't be trusted," another one of the girls answered, though she actually managed to catch my eye for a split second. I could see in her expression she was my best chance. 

"What's your name?" I almost whispered, tipping my chin up quickly to try to call her over. The other girls tried to talk her out of speaking to me, giving her judgmental looks and reminding her Jess would be back soon. But, she inched closer. 

"Lola," the girl offered, her hair jet black and her skin creamy white. I almost laughed.

"You're Lola too?" I tried to sound charming, lying there with my balls cut off. What a joke.

"It's actually Amanda, but Jess says-" She began, though I knew her story was far too complex for the time sensitive situation I found myself in. Some of the other girls hissed warnings, again in some sort of Latin, at Amanda but the girl was locked into me, her eyes unwavering.

"Amanda. Come closer," I sighed, laying my head back down as my neck finally gave out. She listened, stars twinkling in her ice blue eyes as she leaned in. I let my lips brush her jawline, and she gasped, springing back at my touch. The other girls, all more interested now than ever, stared at the scene like they were watching a movie. 

When she came back to me, I saw my chance and caught her lips against mine. When I pulled away though, I was all alone.

I was sweating, gasping and sat up as quickly as I could, my eyes dashing around the unfamiliar bedroom I found myself in. Next to me, lying unconscious, with smeared makeup and a presumably used condom next to her body, was... Lola? Jess?

I turned over and touched her arm gently, feeling the cold of her skin. She didn't react to my touch at all. She was completely knocked out. I couldn't remember anything...

I must have been dreaming. Then, swallowing a huge lump in my throat I thoughtlessly pulled my pants back on, not bothering with my shoes. 

As I made my way back over to the bedroom door, hoping to find myself out of the house, I turned back to look at Lola one last time. She still laid there lifeless. I thought it best I at least check her pulse and discard of the condom before I left. So, as quietly as I could muster, I walked back over to her side of the bed. 

I picked up the condom and stuffed it into my pocket, figuring I could toss it once I found my way home. Then, with a shaking hand, I laid two fingers against her neck. She was freezing, and for a moment I thought I didn't feel anything. But as I relaxed, I felt it-the steady, faint beating of her heart. As relief washed over me, I sucked in a breath. 

Still carrying my sneakers, I headed once again for the bedroom door. Once I opened it, I fumbled in my jeans pocket for my phone, the hallway so dark I couldn't see a thing. 

"Missing something?" I heard from across the room, turning, startled to see Lola up in bed, holding my phone as she slipped her baby pink bra back onto her breasts. Her tone was hard to read...

"Uh, yeah," I smiled sheepishly, taking a few steps back over toward the bed. 

"That all you're missing?" another voice cooed in the dark, paired with the feeling of something jabbing against my back. I whipped around and there she stood... just like in my dream. Jet black hair and blue eyes, dawning a hooded cloak.

"Amanda?" I asked in total disbelief, stumbling backward as the girl's knife glinted in the moonlight. In the dark I heard faint female whispers of those same Latin incantations I had heard so clearly in my nightmare.

"Anything else feel... off, Big Boy?" Lola asked as she joined the other girl, opening the curtains so that everything was drenched in moonlight, her mostly nude body silhouetted against the dark. The walls, previously hidden by shadows, were crowded by cloaked figures all staring at me.

It was then I noticed the blood. 

Not on them-on me. My entire bottom half, completely sopping. And it happened all over again, like I'd been there before... and that feeling on the tip of my tongue. Just like... what's that word again?